Lime is nattering away as she moves around the room and I am not really paying any attention to the words that are coming out of her mouth. All I know is she is laughing at Shadow who is camped outside with Cosmic and Glimmer impatiently waiting for Tapestry to return from Berry Shores, even though he is not due to arrive in the den for at least another five hours.
I sit on the floor, a little perplexed and head blown, suspiciously watching Lime tidying up Shadow's toys, while I listen, not to her voice but to all the other sounds that her body is projecting. I am trying to take in all the extra noises that I can suddenly hear coming from Lime's body. My imagination is running wild and I think somehow I might just be going a little crazy!!
I have heard these noises before and know exactly what they are, and what it means. I just never imagined or expected to ever hear them coming from Lime!! Which makes me wander what the hell has she been up to and who with, because this seriously can not and should not be happening!! I have been listening to her thoughts very closely for a while, and I have not heard her thinking anything untoward, not even in her sleep.
I should have listened to Shadow, he has been trying to tell me that he can hear funny noises coming from Limes stomach and I told him it was nothing to worry about, because I could not hear anything. I thought maybe he was just picking up on her indigestion system growling because of how sick she has been for a few days. Obviously his hearing is a lot more acute than mine.
Now I am a little frightened and have a lot of mixed emotions, and I am not sure why!!
I have had to fight damn hard as well as take a hell of a lot of stick, over the past six weeks, to get everyone to accept what is going on with me and Lime, and especially to keep her upstairs with Shadow permanently. It has been far from easy and now I think ... no I know ... she has gone and blown it all, if those noises that I can hear coming from her body are anything to go by!! Even with the appearance of Tapestry in Shadow's life, the three of us - we had started to become like a little family me, Lime and Shadow, with us literally playing Mommy and Daddy, and now she has gone and totally wrecked it!!
Omri and Cosmic nearly blew the roof off the place when I was busted for sleeping with Lime the first time, they were far from happy with it, Cosmic more so because of everything we have had to suffer and everything that has happened in the past because of her. Sunny, River and Mango have been really down with me too. Tapestry I think was the one that surprised me most, he found it more amusing than anything, even though out of everyone here, his life has probably been wrecked by her the most. Storm, Maizie and our other two spirits have been very indifferent about the whole situation and Honey, who I hardly ever go down to visit these days, does not have a clue what is going on up here. At least I don't think so unless she has picked anything out of Sunny's head.
I tried my hardest to keep my distance from Lime and never let a repeat of our sexual encounter happen again, but Lime has made it very hard for me with her dirty mind. She knows exactly what she does to me when she starts and she does it on purpose to reel me in and I fall for it, not that I am complaining because I fall quite willingly. The experience is just too good to resist and I have given up even trying to fight it. She knows she is playing russian roulette with her life, she knows that one of these times I might just lose it, but still she keeps on pushing, and I definitely do not think with my head. It is not like we have some great love affair going on, intend to get married or turn her into a vampberry, because that isn't it, it is more just a sex thing for both of us ... or so I thought.
Having said that, we have been getting a lot closer as the weeks have passed by. We are always, kissing, cuddling and touching each other up, we spend a lot of time together laughing, talking and messing about, I even sit for hours sometimes watching her sleeping and listening to her dreams. I now find myself sitting here, surprisingly, feeling hurt and totally hacked off at the thought of her messing around or sleeping with somebody else ... which makes me wander where my head is at!!
Not that I can even imagine which of our mortal visitors it might be. It can only be either Mango, Sunny, River or Tapestry, and it has to be one of them for her to be pregnant. Me and Omri are not capable of Fathering a child in our immortal form. Trying to work out when she actually would have had the time to do it, and how she has hidden her thoughts, I think is what is puzzling me most. It scares me if she has been clever enough to completely hide her thoughts from me. Maybe she has not changed after all, is as sly and conniving as ever and I have gone and been stupid enough to start falling for her again, I have been stupid enough to trust her and give her the freedom of roaming the den freely. Omri is right, I am seriously not thinking with my head right now!!
"Cheer up Charming, it might never happen!!" she laughs at me as she stands staring at me watching her through squinted eyes. "What is with the long face?"
I stand up and wander over to her, she smirks at me as I approach her.
"While the ghost has Shadow outside, we could always take advantage of being alone." she smirks at me as she puts her arms around me and tries to pull me in close. I back away from her a little, which makes her frown.
I seriously can not believe she is even suggesting it at this precise moment in time.
"Oh, I think it has already happened Soda!! You have gone and totally blown it haven't you!!" she frowns at me, she is confused "How are you feeling, are you still sick?"
"I feel Fine, I have not been sick again today." she smiles at me "What do you mean, I've blown it?!"
"Have you missed something?" she frowns at me "Your women's monthly thing." she laughs
"Are you feeling okay Jazz?" she laughs "I know we have been getting intimate a lot lately, but it doesn't mean you can get that personal!!" she laughs then smirks "Or are you asking because you want to make sure the coast is clear?"
"Just answer my damn question!!" I snap at her nastily "Have you missed one? Are you late?"
"Okay keep your shirt on!!" she frowns at me "I don't have a clue if I have missed one or even if I'm late. I have never been regular, they are all over the shop so I don't bother to keep a track of them and especially not now being locked up in this place, where time is irrelevant and with you firing blanks." she laughs "Besides, at my age I am due for the menopause soon anyway."
"So WHO have you been sleeping with other than me?" she frowns at me in the strangest way "So ... Tapestry, Sunny, Mango, River ... which one is it?"
"Don't be so bloody ridiculous!! AS IF!!!" she almost has hysterics "Don't start getting all paranoid and stupid on me Charming!! Have you gone mad or are you in one of your wind up moods?"
"I am not joking Soda!! You are pregnant." I pull a face at her
"Now I know you are just being damn stupid!!" she starts laughing
"I am not!! I can hear the baby in your stomach, it has sprang a heartbeat today. So is there something you should be telling me ... or should I say someone?!" I scowl at her "WHO IS IT LIME!!"
"You are barking mad!!" she laughs nervously "If there is a baby in here ..." she rubs her stomach "which I highly doubt ... then it can only be yours!!"
"We both know that is impossible!!!" I snap at her.
"Lets hope so for your sake, because I really don't want a blood sucker chewing up my insides!!" she tuts "Charming I'm going to swing for you if I am ... we don't need protection you said!!"
"We don't!! It is not mine - it is impossible vampires can not reproduce!!"
"You are off your head and if that is the case then there is no way I can be pregnant!!" she laughs as she picks up a book, puts in on the table then sits down on the couch so I join her. "Oh berry!! I can not believe you just accused me of sleeping with either Sunshine, the nerd or one of his two brats!!" she snaps "Like any of them would touch me with a barge pole!!"
She sits just stares at me like I have gone mad, but it is not just the faces she is pulling, it is also what she is thinking. She thinks I have gone completely cuckoo because of what I have just accused her of and she thinks she can not be pregnant and if she is, it is mine!!
I pull her towards me and start kissing her roughly and hungrily as my hand works its way up and inside her top to her breast. Her mind straight away switches into dirty mode, and starts to rampage, she is so easy to turn on, it is like flicking a switch. I continue seducing her until her head has gone and she is worked up to the point where she is trying to remove my clothes. I stop it suddenly and I pull away from her quickly, and while her head is swimming in a mess I hit her with it.
"Does he make you feel like I do?"
"Who?" she stares at me in confusion
"Whoever you have been screwing behind my back?"
I stare into her eyes as I listen to her thoughts. I don't hear her thinking about anything she has done or anyone that she is trying to hide, like I would expect her to right now. I have planted it into her mind so it would be impossible for her not to think about 'him' and what she has done at this moment in time. However, confusingly for me, she is genuinely, totally and utterly confused and annoyed by what I am implying and that I have stopped suddenly when I have wound her up sexually.
"Sod off Jazzberry!!" she snaps at me, and I know she is angry with me because that is the only time that she calls me by my full name. "I might be a lot of things, but I am definitely no bike!!"
I snap open my phone, now wandering if I have got this all wrong and am actually going mad.
"River, I need you in the den with your doctors head on." I mumble when he answers the phone
"Is it urgent Jazz? Only I am just about to get in the shower. What's up?!"
"I need you to bring a pregnancy test kit with you." he starts laughing "Can you get here quickly, it is pretty urgent, I'll go out of my mind if I have to wait too long," I mumble
"What's up Jazz have you missed your period?!" he starts laughing "Why on earth would you need a pregnancy test kit?"
"Lime is pregnant."
"WHAT?!" he sounds shocked "Are you messing?"
"No, I can hear the heartbeat, I just need it proving for my own sanity."
I snap my phone shut when he tells me he will be an hour at the most. I stare at Lime who is sat there laughing sarcastically as she shakes her head in disbelief. I hear her wandering if it is April fools day, because this has to be a joke!!
"Who is it Soda?!" I snap at her now trying not to trust her thoughts, she could just be playing a very clever game and hiding it and thinking this way to fool me into believing her. "Which one of our four mortal visitors have you been screwing behind my back?!"
"You be careful, you almost sound like a hard done too boyfriend!! Seriously Jazz, do you know how insulted I feel right now!! Give me some credit at least!!" she snaps and the face she pulls at me is Lime of old. "I AM NOT sleeping around or pregnant and if I am it can ONLY be YOURS!!!" I can see she is starting to get angry.
I grab her hand and pull her up off the couch and lead her into the bedroom. I tell her to lie down on the bed, which she does without arguing. I can hear that she is starting to get very nervous of me because she can see that I am getting angry and she realizes now that this is not a joke. This whole situation is confusing the hell out of her and she does not even believe that she is pregnant.
I crawl over her and put my ear to her stomach and listen to the activity going on in there. There is a definite heartbeat even though it is still very quiet as well as all the other noises coming from the new life growing in her womb. I crawl up the bed and her body so that our heads are now level and I stare her in the eyes, planning to dive through them into her head.
"One last chance ... who is it Lime?"
"You are seriously having a laugh aren't you Jazzberry!!" she snaps as she tries to push me off her without success. "Seriously this is getting very boring!! Now if you have finished being a twat, get off me, I have got laundry to do!!!"
"You stay right there!! I am not laughing or messing about!! I am SERIOUSLY hacked off and want to know who's baby you are having?" she frowns at me "Soda you are pregnant, and as it can not be mine, I want to know who you have been shagging!!"
I remain hovering over her as I listen to her thoughts, she is staring at me a little wide eyed, and she is getting very angry. While her mouth remains tightly shut her head is calling me all sorts of names.
I hold her chin and dive through her eyes, quickly rewinding back five or six weeks to when we first slept together. When I find it, I slow everything down and start watching everything that happens from there on.
It takes me quite a while because I watched everything carefully. When I don't find what I am looking for, I skip back further than those six weeks just to make sure that there was nobody before me, I go back quite a way and there is absolutely nothing and nobody.
I move off her slowly and carefully, a little bewildered, when I have finished looking through her memories. Now I am highly confused because I have found nothing. Not a thing. She has seriously been sleeping with nobody but me, she has not been messing about with anyone either, not even flirting.
She moans as she comes back to reality and her hands go up to her head because it is hurting. I cringe knowing that I was maybe in her head for just a little too long, longer than I should have been. She will probably get a banging headache now.
"I am really sorry!!" I mumble as I pull her towards me "I had to check to see what you have been up to!! And before you even start having a go at me, I'm sorry for accusing and not believing you. After everything you have done, you can not really blame me for not trusting you!!"
I start to kiss her while she is still a little dazed and before she can start going off on one. The Lime of old would probably have been tearing strips off me and beating me up right now, one thing she can not hack which unhinges her, being accused of something that she has not done. I know that she is back with me when the way she is kissing me changes and she starts to thump me with her free hand.
I am now feeling a little stupid as well as guilty for doubting and not believing her. She has only been sleeping with me. Then it hits me - something is still not right here, she is pregnant when she should not be, well at least I think she is, this does not make any sense which is suddenly making me start to doubt myself.
I break the kiss and just lie there listening to Limes heart racing and the solid second heart beat that is beating away steadily along with hers, but at a different pace and is a lot quieter than her own. This wipes away the doubt again ... she is pregnant!!!
"So what have I been up to Charming?" she just lies there staring at me blankly
"Absolutely nothing Soda, which does not make any sense at all when you are pregnant!!" she quietly laughs at me
"What is making you think that I am pregnant anyway?" she frowns at me.
"I don't think, I know. I can hear noises along with a second heart beat, a babies heart beat. Which obviously means you are pregnant." I frown at her "So how the hell does that happen!!"
"Not that I believe I am even pregnant ... but hello how thick are you ... isn't it obvious!! Your blanks obviously can not be so blank after all!!" she laughs
"Don't be stupid ... vampberrys CAN NOT make babies!!"
"Who says they can not?" she frowns
"Everybody knows they can't!!" I smile at her "Every single vampberry in existence was turned not born. Shadow is the only one I've ever known and even he was turned into a vampire not conceived as one. When a person is turned their reproductive system stops working just like all the other organs in their bodies."
"Well that is all just rubbish, because if I am pregnant like you say - then you Charming HAVE made a baby!! It can only be your baby you twat!!"
I sit up then. I think the shock of what she has just said, and the only logical explanation for this situation, finally hits me. I have not for one single second even considered that it is MY baby, not even as a possibility, so adamant in my mind that vampberrys can not make babies
It can not be mine!! Could it?
I dive off the bed and snap my phone open again.
"Maizie where are you?" I am irritated by how long it takes her to answer her phone.
"In the kitchen trying to feed why?" she snaps
"Come to Shadow's rooms, it's urgent!!"
My mind now is all over the place and in turmoil. If it is my baby then I should be the happiest man on the planet right now, however, I know exactly the hell we have ahead of us, and what this is going to do to Lime, exactly what it did to Honey, and this is not good!! I can not let myself get too carried away with this!! First I need someone to confirm that they can hear what I am hearing and that she is definitely pregnant.
I sit down on the couch with my head in my hands, not quite believing what is happening here. Lime gets off the bed and comes and sits down on the couch next to me.
"So is there only one heart beat?" she asks and I frown at her "I have already had two sets of twins Fern and Jade, then Storm and Parsley, and I was a twin ..."
"No there is only one." I laugh at her "So are you starting to believe you are pregnant."
"I don't know." she shrugs "I guess it might answer why I keep throwing up when I don't actually feel ill!! I did not think it was possible for me now, and it seems a bit stupid at my age!! I will probably have faded from old age before that kid becomes an adult!!"
I start to kiss her just to shut her up and so I do not have to talk back and explain something that she really is not going to like hearing!! She does not realize what she is saying or what she has coming to her if by some miracle that baby is mine, which logically it has to be, if I am the only person she has been sleeping with. If Honey is anything to go by, Lime will be lucky to even live through it, as a mortal, to see that baby born.
I hear the door open when Maizie walks into the room.
"Oh please!! Pass me a sick bucket!! Jazz put her down ... " she stops suddenly as she stares at Lime and frowns for a moment.
"Woooow!! Baby on board!!" she says with a shocked look on her face.
"So you can hear it too, it is not just me?" I frown at her "I am not going mad am I, she is pregnant!!"
"No, you definitely are not hearing things!!" she starts to laugh "Oh berry!! Who is responsible for that brat?!" she smirks at Lime
"Technically it should be me! I am the only person she has been sleeping with and I have double checked in her head." I frown at Maizie "However we both know it being my baby is totally impossible!!"
"Actually it is very possible." I frown at her "You know you have broken one of the cardinal sins having a mortal / immortal relationship and if the Original's find out - it is instant disposal for the pair of you."
"Yes I know that!!" I snap at her as I stand up "Like we don't already have the noose tightly around our necks with Shadow and all the mortals running around the place!! Since when have you become all anti rule breaking Maizie?!" I laugh at her sarcastically "Vampires can not make babies!! Why did you just say it is very possible?"
Maizie just stares at me for a moment without saying anything.
"Look, I should not be telling you this ... but seeing as though it has happened. Vampires not being able to reproduce is what the Originals lead everyone to believe, when it is not strictly true ..."
Maizie starts to explain. Male vampberry's actually can and do produce fertile sperm and in theory can reproduce, however any resulting pregnancy always ends in disaster. The Originals have the no mortal / immortal relationship rule in place, purposefully to keep our two worlds apart, because they know exactly what male vampberry's are capable of, while they tell everyone contrary to the fact.
The Originals themselves can not reproduce, male or female. None of the Orignal males have fertile sperm. Female vampberry's can not reproduce either, while some vampberry males can, but only with a mortal female. The Originals know this, and it scares them, because vampberrys in theory have the capability, if perfected, of breeding their numbers large enough to overpower and wipe not only them out but also all mortals. If vampberry males started to try breeding they would wipe out all the mortal females and eventually our food source. They are also scared of what kind of babies might be produced by mortal / immortal parents. A different stronger kind of vampire - day walkers, female vampires that are able to breed, or who have other abilities that out do Originals in strength and capability is what they are most scared of.
"Also the Originals think, that if male vampberries knew they have the capability of reproducing, it will bring our two worlds together and expose our existence, which they want kept hidden, because they themselves are white berries, who were pursicuited and wiped out of existence centuries ago, just like the coded world try to do today with colourless berries." she starts laughing
"I seriously can't believe it!!"
"I would have thought Shadow would have made you cotton onto something or at least think." she laughs "A mortal / vampire baby will grow and develop inside the womb, however, none have ever survived because the mortal Mother always fades, you saw what it did to Honey. Most mortal Mothers do not get far enough along into the pregnancy for the baby to be fully developed and survive. Shadow is the only baby I know that has EVER reached full term."
"Why the hell have you never told me this?" I am angry "You KNOW we have been sleeping together!! Why have you just sat back and not warned me about the pregnancy risk we are taking!! You know I think I am incapable of making babies!!" I yell at her angrily. "You know this baby is going to fade Lime and only now are you telling us when it is too late and the damage is done!!"
"You are the one stupid enough to go there, when you shouldn't!!!!" she says sarcastically which makes me snarl at her teeth showing. "Okay!! I thought Lime was passed it, she is at menapause age and only 30% of all the vampberry males tested were still fertile. Trust you to be one of the 30%!!!" she rolls her eyes "The chances of you two getting pregnant were pretty slim in my mind." I am now glaring at her because she always makes me so angry!! "Okay I am sorry!! I should have warned you."
"How the hell do you even know all this anyway? I was married to an Original for berry's sake and I was never told any of this, especially that she is a white berry!!" she sniggers "Why should I even believe you?"
"Deeeer Lime is pregnant isn't that proof enough!!" she snaps sarcastically "I can't tell you how I know, just trust me!!" she looks over her shoulder "However, I will tell you something else, because you need to realize, this pregnancy is not going to be like Honey's. Seriously, this is not to leave this room Jazz!!"
"Okay ... go on!!"
"The Originals ..." she hesitates "They ran an experimental breeding program for a while, but it failed miserably so they stopped it. They wanted to know what kind of vampire would be produce from the union of the two worlds, which they did not succeed in doing. However it did satisfy them in one way, because they established that producing a living surviving mortal / immortal baby is, in their mind, close to impossible!!"
"Why do they think that, when we have Shadow?" I frown at her
"They were taking mortal females off the street, from all over the place a few at a time so that the mass disappearance would not be noticed, and using half a dozen captive fertile male vampberry's to rape those women. Some were faded during sex, some did not even get pregnant. One hundred pregnancy's they produced in total, and only ONE Mother and child survived, that child was born totally mortal, there was no sign of vampire in it at all." she pulls a face. It all went to waste in the end, because they faded the Mother and tried to turn the baby, which was part of another experiment because they wanted to see how it would grow and develop as a vampire. The baby faded after two days, it could not even take the transformation. So they did not get one single baby out of the project."
"How the hell do you know all this Maizie?" I frown at her
"Seriously Jazz I can not tell you - I have already told you more than I should have done, but I think you might guess who was actually responsible for that breeding program." she raises her eyebrows
"Not Celeste?" I stare back wide eyed
"Yep!! That wife of yours kept some serious secrets from you!!" she smiles at me "You know how desperate she was to have a baby, and she could not live with herself after because she tried to turn that baby and she wished she had just kept it mortal." she laughs "You know if she had been around she would have snapped Shadow up, she would never have hurt him, she would have loved and doted on him!!" she laughs again "You could have pulled that knife out of her chest and bought her with Shadow!! And I know for a fact, if that program had successfully produced surviving babies that she was planning to pick a pink female off the streets and have you father a child so she could get the baby she wanted. The only reason she kept you was because of your colour."
"Just SHUT UP Maizie!!" I snap at her angrily
I just stand there staring at Maizie, totally mind blown, as well as angry, at what she has told me. I don't want to dwell on anything to do with Celeste, my mind is pretty much stuck on the fact that I AM capable of making my own baby after all!! Lime is carrying MY child. I seriously can not believe this is happening!! Never in my wildest dreams did I think this would ever happen!!
"So that baby ..." I point at Lime "Oh Fudge!! It IS mine?!"
"Yes Jazz, you obviously are one of the fertiles ones!!" she laughs at me "But Jazz, do not get too excited and especially do not expect that baby or Lime to survive. The only way both of them are surviving, is if that child is completely mortal ..."
"But Shadow ..."
"You can NOT think Lime's pregnancy is going to be exactly the same as Honey's!!!" I think Shadow was and is a total one off ... Honey did in one shot what the originals could not do in 100 shots!! Honey was young, Lime isn't, and there is a difference, Shadow was conceived as a mortal, he started his growth and development as a mortal, I think that child is still partly mortal, possibly a 50/50 mortal/vampire split."
"Yeah I think he is too." I mumble
"Your baby is just exactly the same as all the ones from those pregnancy's I witnessed on the breeding program, conceived from a vampberry father's sperm. I doubt this pregnancy will be any different from any of those 100 and they were seriously not pretty." she pulls a face "They will both fade Jazz, Lime and the baby!! Honey went through nothing in comparison to some of the sights I saw and I think that is because Shadow is partly mortal!! A mortal body is just not strong enough to incubate a baby that is completely vampire!!"
I stand and listen to Limes thoughts for a moment, her head is running wild and she is terrified, and I can't say I blame her. She has been just sat there quietly listening, and knowing that she is going to start getting upset with this, I had tuned out her thoughts so that I could not hear them to concentrate on what Maizie is saying. Lime I have to deal with later.
"You witnessed ..?!" I raise my eyebrows at her "You just said you witnessed on the breeding program!! Were you actually there?"
"Okay, I hold my hands up!!" she looks at me sheepishly "Yes. Celeste needed a nurse ...."
"WHAT THE HELL were you two hiding from me Maizie??!!" I stare at her wide eyed "You and Celeste, hardly had anything to do with each other when she was here, you both acted like you hated each others guts, now you sound like you have a history together!!"
"I am sorry I am NOT telling you anything else!! You have already had more out of me than you should have done!! It is in the past and it needs to stay there." she snaps
"Yeah that is your answer to everything isn't it Maizie!! 'It's in the past and it needs to stay there.' Shame you can't apply the same principal to Dad now and stop leching after him!!" snaps River, who has been stood there for quite a while quietly listening to our conversation, up until now. "You make him feel so uncomfortable he can not even come here to visit Shadow in peace!! You need to back off him,"
"Shut up Mango!! He is big enough to fight his own battles!! He does not need you doing it for him" she snaps at River who hurls a load of abuse at her from inside his head, especially for calling him Mango, the name she put on his birth certificate, but never used. She is finally calling him Mango when he has had his name changed officially to River. Maizie just ignores him.
To stop Maizie and River from starting one of their slanging matches, which my head really can not take right now, I send Lime off with River, so that he can examine her and do the pregnancy test. Not that I really need it medically proving now, but I just want to get Lime out the way while I ask Maizie a few questions. I don't need Lime getting any more upset than she already is, knowing she can blow up at me at any minute, I am actually surprised she has not already.
"Maizie how bad did those pregnancy's get?"
"Gruesome sometimes. Feet and hands kicking and punching literally straight through the skin, broken bones, paralysis, internal damage and bleeding beyond repair, some chewed up inside. Some had the life literally drained out of them until they were just skin and bone. The mortal body is just too weak to carry a vampire baby full term. Those women were screaming and riling in total agony most of the time, it almost drove me crazy!!"
"So Lime seriously has got no chance of surviving this." I close my eyes "Or my baby!"
"No I'm sorry!! Other than the mortal baby, most of them did not live past week 24 of the pregnancy." she rolls her eyes "If you are so worried about the mortality of your green pet, then you need to get rid of the baby NOW before it does any damage. Mango can get the pills for Lime to take that will terminate the pregnancy."
"That is easy for you to say!! That is my baby you are talking about destroying."
"I know all you have ever wanted is a child of your own, but Jazz that baby will destroy Lime, before it is anywhere near developed enough to survive outside of the womb!! There is no point you even trying to let the pregnancy run through in the hope that it will play out like Honey's pregnancy, because it won't!! All you will be doing letting this pregnancy continue is put yourself through the agony of watching and losing them both in a gruesome way!!"
I just stand there my head is pounding.
"The baby being a mortal baby ... what chance is there?"
"If the breeding program is anything to go by one in a hundred chance." she pulls a face "But we only produced one hundred pregnancies, so it could be a one in a million chance for all we know. The vampire genetics obviously are a lot stronger then the mortal ones, for it to only happen once in one hundred pregnancies."
"That baby has a heartbeat, is that normal for a vampire baby?" I frown at her
"Yes to start with. Every conceived baby had a hearable heartbeat at around five weeks, however, every heartbeat bar the mortal one stopped sometime during weeks twelve and fourteen of the pregnancy. It was almost like the baby's first development takes place as a mortal, then the vampire takes over. We got to learn that once that heart beat stopped, that is when the Mothers problems began."
"So if my baby still has a beating heart after fourteen weeks it could be completely mortal?" my eyes widen
"Possibly, but seriously, don't hold your hopes up ... the chances of you creating a mortal child, I would say, are very very slim!!" she frowns at me "Would you seriously want to bring up a mortal child in this world knowing the constant danger it will be in?"
While I think I would do and take anything right now to have that baby arrive safely, I could not answer that question, that is something I seriously need to think about. However, I doubt that will be a worry that I will ever have, from what Maizie is saying the chance of being blessed with a mortal baby is like winning the lottery - we would never be that lucky!!
When River and Lime returned with a positive pregnancy test result, I did not know whether to be overjoyed or downright miserable about it. In a way, I would rather this had never happened, ignorance was definitely bliss compared to what we now have to face.
I am now getting something I have always wanted but thought impossible - a child of my own. Now that the impossible has happened, knowing my child is never going to survive and is going to be cruelly snatched away again, is just total torture.
Lime understandably, being upset and terrified, went totally ballistic at me after we had sat down and talked about all the facts according to Maizie. She started screaming and shouting and tried to beat me up and I just stood there and let her. Even though it did not really hurt me very much physically, mentally it did, having to listen to and feel how upset she is, she is feeling just like I am.
She blames me for letting this pregnancy happen, and I guess it is my fault, ignorantly not knowing the true facts. I am the idiot who said we did not need to take precautions, because that is what I believed. After venting out her frustration a little Lime collapsed into a heap on the carpet and started balling her eyes out.
Ironically I found we are sitting in virtually the same spot, in the same situation, that started all this, she is sobbing her heart out and I am trying to comfort her. However this time it is not broken hearts and marriages we are getting upset over, it is our baby, because while neither of us like the idea of terminating the pregnancy and destroying the life that we have stupidly created, we know it has to be done.
If only I could roll the clock back six weeks, and do things differently!!
As much as I would love to be selfish and let this pregnancy play out in the hope that I can get the child out of it that I have always wanted. My mortal emotions are telling me I could never be that cruel to rob Lime of her life on what is most likely a fruitless task. I also can not afford to let Lime fade for quite a few other reasons.
The main one being, I can not let Lime fade for Shadow's sake if for nothing else. He is the only 'Mother' that he has, and losing her would devastate him!! I can not be the one responsible for taking her away from him, because I couldn't keep it in my trousers!!
There is also the fact that Limes fading has always been a heavy weight on my shoulders. When all this started the only reason we kept her alive was because of the damage that she could do in spirit form. If she did not pass over, she could have stayed and tormented us all until she had finished every last one of us off. Even though that threat now I think is very much in the past, it will always niggle at the back of my mind as a possibility. I am too scared of taking the risk of finding out. The same goes for her becoming a vampberry, which I can never afford to let happen. She might be all sweetness and light now, but it only takes her to lose her mortal emotions and I will have the old evil Lime back and another Honey on my hands. A cold callous vampberry, who if gets lose, will reek total havoc.
All talked out, we are just lying there quietly, and have been for quite a while. I am holding Lime while she continues to cry and have switched off her thoughts while I am trying to deal with my own.
I am just wandering about how much stick Omri and Cosmic are going to give me over this latest development, when Lime speaks suddenly, snapping me away from my thoughts.
"I should not take those pills, it is not fair ..."
"WHAT!?"
I cut her sentence off without letting her finish while I frown at her in confusion, now at a disadvantage, which I really hate, because I was not listening to her thought process, so I don't have a clue what she might be thinking.
"Please tell me you are not thinking of actually going through with it!! It is suicide!!" I stare at her wide eyed.
"No!! Didn't you say as long as the babies heart is beating there is a chance that it might be completely mortal." she mumbles
"Yes, a VERY VERY slim one, do you seriously think we would get that lucky!! Maizie said even vampire babie's hearts beat, which should stop beating between twelve and fourteen weeks ..."
"Then we should wait." I frown at her "We have to wait until it's heart does stop beating. I can not destroy it not knowing what it is." she pulls a face "If it was not going to fade me, I would not be destroying it at all, even if it is your kid Charming!" she smirks at me and I stick my tongue out at her. "I don't think I could live with myself not knowing if I have destroyed a mortal baby or not!"
"You seriously baffle my head sometimes Soda!! She who has faded so many people it's untrue!"
She closes her eyes and shakes her head as she tells me to shut the hell up in her head, because she is sick of me keep reminding her of her evil past.
"You are putting your life at risk, what about if the little sprog turns nasty the moment it's heart stops beating and it realizes it is a vampire?" I roll my eyes "Plus I am not sure we can actually trust what Maizie says completely, you know what she is like, twisted!!"
"They are risks I have to take!! You are just scared, if it does all go wrong, that I might come back to haunt you!!" she laughs at me as I roll my eyes. "I have already had six kids which I have totally messed up!! This feels like I have been given another chance to finally do it right."
"You have Shadow to do that with!"
"Yeah I know, but he will always be Tapestry and Honey's child, and while I love him like he is my own, this is our child ..." she frowns at me "I thought you wanted a child of your own Charming, and there is a slim chance you still can, so we have to take it!! It almost sounds like you are trying to talk me out of even trying!!" she pulls a face at me "Do you really want to destroy this baby without knowing if it is a vampire or not?"
"Hell no!! I want that baby probably more than you do, even if it is your kid Soda!" I smirk at her getting her back for saying the same thing to me earlier. "It is your body, your life, and your decision, and if you want to wait then I am quite happy to wait. I too don't want to live with wandering if we have destroyed a mortal baby either, but the second that babies heart stops beating, you are taking those pills!!" I smile at her "I am not having you fading on me!!"
"How sweet!! Anyone would think you cared about me Charming!!" she laughs at me
"You wished!!" I smirk at her "I just don't want Shadow blaming me for fading you!!"
She thumps me before she starts crying again. She is terrified that this baby is going to be a vampire, she so badly wants it to be mortal, just like I do!!
Now all we can do is count down the days and wait.
Hanging onto the flimsy hope that this baby is mortal, is the only thing that we have got at this moment in time, and I know the next eight weeks are going to drag as slowly as hell!!
I seriously wish I still had the ability to cry right now!!
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