After pulling myself together, the best that I can, I leave the bathroom and run downstairs.
I walk into our bedroom, trying to put to the back of my mind what is now troubling me to the point that it is already starting to give me a headache. The bag of guns hidden in the bathroom, that could have me going in exactly the same direction as Mace ... prison!!
Even though my head is still in turmoil, I can not help but laugh at Mace again, who is still sat in exactly the same place scribbling away. Like he has been a lot lately, he is away in his own little world, he does not even acknowledge me walking into the room, or see me putting the jar of honey down on the bedside table.
I go over to the cot and look in at Clay who is peacefully sleeping. I have to loosen the blanket a little, because Mace has wrapped him up way too tight, I am surprised the little boy is not roasting.
I can not help but think as I stare down at Clay, about how both me and Mace being in prison would affect Jasmine and Clay, even Slate. All three of them have been left with enough shit to deal with in their lives because of Gravel ... I think I already know, I have to do whatever I can to protect myself, so that I can be here for them, for their sakes!!
I stroll over to Mace and stand watching him scribbling for a moment, he does not once take his eyes off the drawing paper, to acknowledge that I am standing right behind him. This sudden change in his behaviour is really starting to bother me.
I get distracted when I spot a bruise breaking out on his back, which I know is new, because it was definitely not there last night when I was rubbing moisturising into his skin. He winces when I gently run my fingers over the red area of his skin.
"Mace, where has that new bruise come from on your back?"
"I fell off the shower seat again!" he laughs quietly
"Seriously, haven't I already told you, not to keep trying to take showers unless I am here to help you!!" I tut at him "You have not done any damage to your legs have you?"
"No, and don't even start fussing, they are fine! Slate checked me over before he went out." he mumbles "But you can check on Clay for me."
"I just did ... he is spark out, snoring his little head off."
"No I meant, he needs to be checked by a doctor, because I think he is getting worse."
"Seriously, you are neurotic!!" I laugh at him "He has only got a bit of a snuffle, a cold which he caught off Cotton because she was messing with him after she had wiped her snotty nose with her hand."
"I think his temperature is getting worse." he grumbles "When I changed his nappy earlier he felt way too hot to me."
"Mace, I just checked his head and he is perfectly fine and no more hotter than he should be! But if you didn't keep wrapping him up so tight he would not keep getting over warm sometimes."
I put my arms around him as I peer over his shoulder.
"So, what are you drawing?"
"Oh, I am just scribbling out a few ideas that Tapestry has had for a new album cover." he glances at me and smiles for a moment
"I though you had just done a cover for him?"
"That was a single ... this is for an album." he smiles as he carries on doodling "Rocky wants me to do one for him too, and they have both said that they think with Dad's help, they can pull enough strings so that I can carry on doing all the artwork that they need, even when I am in prison."
"That is nice of them, at least it will give you something to do. I know exactly how boring prison can be, just staring at the same four walls."
"Mmmmm" he mumbles "Which reminds me, you are going to have to keep sending in the things that I need, paper, pencils, paint etc."
"We will sort that out when the time comes, if they do actually manage to pull those strings!" I mumble
"I hope they do or I might just go insane otherwise!" he mumbles as he carries on drawing.
"Mace, put your damn pencil down for a minute and pay me some attention for a change." he gives me a side ward glance and frowns at me "I am sick of you ignoring me!"
"I'm so not ignoring you!!"
"You so are!"
I laugh at the expression on his face as I snatch the pencil out of his hand and move the piece of paper that he is drawing on, off the table.
"What are you doing?" Mace mumbles in annoyance as he tries to stop me from taking the paper away.
I laugh to myself as I stare at the drawing table and the blank sheet of paper now facing me. It gives me an idea, I planned to propose to him sometime this morning, and this seems the most fitting way to do it at the moment, as this is the only way I can get his full attention.
"Gran, don't mess, give it back, I need to get that finished."
"Stop belly aching and close your eyes for a minute." I smirk at him "Just humour me - I feel like drawing something."
He tuts as he closes his eyes, but I don't trust him not to be looking, so I put my left hand over them so he doesn't see what I am up to.
"Yeah I can just image what you are going to be drawing!" he sniggers
"Yeah I bet you do, because you have got a dirty mind!" I laugh at him
He is expecting me to draw something rude, so he is never going to expect what I am actually doing. I write in big letters on the paper MARRY ME? and get the ring box out of my pocket and place it on the table. I am surprised when I move my hand away from his face and step away from him, that he does actually continue to keep his eyes closed.
"Okay you can look now." I laugh
When he opens his eyes, I see the expression on his face change when he spots my question and the ring box. He just sits there staring at them a little wide eyed. Instead of the excitement that I expected, he suddenly looks troubled.
"Seriously?!" he mumbles "I thought we weren't going to do this until after my prison stretch."
I sit down in his nearby wheelchair, a little taken aback by his lack of enthusiasm. He definitely did not react how I expected him to.
"I thought you would be happy ... I thought us getting engaged and married is what you wanted."
"I am and it is what I want ... it's just ... you have had nine months to ask me, why leave it until now, when I am weeks away from prison?"
"I have not asked until now, not because I have not wanted to, it was only because we were covering for Forrest and us getting engaged would have given the game away. Now he has come clean and everything is out in the open ... there is nothing stopping us."
I frown at him as he still just sits there staring at me, he is not even attempting to look at the ring.
"Mace I know what you are probably thinking ... and NO that ring is not bugged or part of a police operation, it is the real thing this time, I can show you the receipt for it, if I have to."
"Yeah it did cross my mind, I couldn't go through all that hurt and disappointment again!!" he mumbles
"As IF I would ever do that to you again!" I laugh sarcastically "You know I didn't want to do it to you in the first place, they made me do it because it was the best way to have you bugged 24/7!!" I frown at him "I thought we had dealt with all the fake engagement shit."
"We have ... it's just ... us getting engaged is not going to stop me from being scared ... you can still leave me and break my heart while I am inside." he mumbles quietly as he stares at the ring box
"I know you still don't completely trust that I am not humouring you until you get sent down, or that I will be there waiting for you when you get out ... but how many times do I have to tell you, you are wrong, before you actually believe me!!" he just stares at me "I love you, and I have for the past five years, I was just too stupid to see it!! All I want to do is marry you, take you home and spend the rest of my life with you and our little family, so there is no need for you to be scared!! You are giving me everything I ever wanted, so why would I walk away from that!! The very last thing I want to do is leave you or break your heart , quite the opposite ... I am going nowhere and everything is going to be okay ... you are getting everything that you ever wanted!!"
"What about if I am inside for years, like ten or fifteen years ..."
"You will not be!!"
"I could be!! You know damn well Gravel could be and probably will be a berry hole!! If he does not tell the truth and back up what I am saying, and the jury don't believe me, they could throw the book at me ... I could be looking at fifteen, even twenty years, for murder and fraud!!"
"Don't say that!!" I choke "You won't ... it is not happening!!"
"Gran, we seriously need to talk about this properly, every time I try to bring it up, you shut me down!! I know you are in denial and trying to pretend that me getting a long stretch is not even going to be a possibility, but with my fate being in Gravel's hands, me getting a long stretch is the most likely thing to happen!! You know as well as I do, I have got more chance of walking again than we have of Gravel ever playing fair." he frowns at me "If I do get fifteen or even twenty years ... that is a hell of a long time ... time that you probably have not got!"
"Mace ... please don't start that again!!"
"I'm sorry Gran, but it needs to be said and we need to face the facts, if I do get a long stretch, we might not even get the chance of a future together because of your age and your health ... for Berry's sake you are a doctor so you know better than most, your life expectancy has been shortened and the transplant is only buying you time ... you can't carry on pretending that everything is going to be okay, when everything is stacked up against us ... you are fifteen years older than me and already living on borrowed time, you only have one kidney, your borrowed liver could fail at any time ..."
"You stress too much, if that happens I will just get another transplant." I smirk at him which makes him laugh at me sarcastically
"Okay say I get twenty years and your health problems haven't finished you off ... you will be sixty, nearly seventy, are you seriously going to waste the rest of your life waiting for me?"
"Of course I am!!"
"Really ... how can you be so sure?!"
"Hell Mace - because I LOVE YOU!! Doesn't the last twenty years of my life show you that I can!! Twenty years I wasted waiting for him, and I didn't even love him .. I've adopted your daughter and our Nephew - doesn't that prove I am committed to you!! I have tied myself to you forever, whether you agree to marry me or not, and you are a part of my family, so I am always going to be here!! I need you and I love you and I can't bear the thought of us being apart for even a single day ... so do not think for one minute that I am going to sit here without you and LET you spend the next fifteen or twenty years in prison ... because it is just not happening!!"
"It is worrying me how delusional you are getting - you have convinced yourself I am walking away with only a few years at the most!!" he frowns at me "What if I do get twenty years ... what are you planning to do, break me out and we spend the rest of our lives on the run with our three kids and your Granddaughter?!." he starts laughing at me
"No, don't be stupid!!" I laugh at him "The minute they lock you up, I will be appealing if you get five years or over, I will get you out if I have to spend every penny we have, but it won't come to that!! I was not going to tell you this, but ... you know I NEVER want to see that so called brother of mine ever again, but ... as soon as they transfer Gravel back to Sugar Valley prison, I am going into see him ..."
"Oh No!!! I am not going to let you, and Dad will go tits up if he finds out you are planning to visit that berry hole, after everything he has done to us!!"
"I HAVE TO ... I already know, I can not live without you, I will not cope or be able to fight my addiction if you get a long sentence, it will send me under, so I have to make sure it does not happen!! I am going to make Gravel tell the truth at the trial."
"You are off your head!! You know damn well you will only be wasting your time trying to convince him to tell the truth ... that berry hole can not be budged for anything!!" He snaps at me "You know how much he hates you, you go grovelling to him you will just be playing right into his hands ... he will do the opposite of what you ask him to do just to spite you!!"
"Oh I can budge him, and I will not need to even do any grovelling!!" I smirk at him "We have something that he would do almost anything for, something he would kill to see ..." he frowns at me "Clay!!" I smirk at him "I will have Gravel telling the truth, in exchange for seeing his son!!"
"Seriously?!" he laughs "You would take Clay into see him?"
"Yeah ... I'm going to tell him that I will take Clay in to see him after the trial, but only IF he does the decent thing, tells the truth so you get the sentence you deserve - a very short one. Any more than five years and he can go to hell!!" Mace starts to really laugh "I guarantee he is going to be breaking his neck to tell the truth and get you off, because otherwise he will never get to see his son!!" I smirk at him
"While I love the idea of what you are trying to do for me, I'm not comfortable with you going into see him, and I REALLY don't like the idea of Clay having contact with Gravel ... what if he messes with the boys head while he is growing up!! I never really want Clay to have anything to do with Tarragon or Gravel ... I think it is the best thing for him."
"Don't stress!! I don't want Clay having any contact with his evil twisted parents either!! If it gets Gravel telling the truth, I can tell him he can see his son, even that the visits will be regular if I have to, but I can play as dirty as he does ... it doesn't mean I am going to keep my word!!"
"So you are only telling him he will get to see Clay, when you don't have any intention of taking Clay into see him at all?" he frowns at me "Seriously, you go playing those sort of games with Gravel and you will have him gunning for us!!"
"I am not stupid!!! .. Gravel will get to see Clay, but only once, while the boy is still too young to know or remember anything!!" I chuckle to myself "This is all Karma for me, he stole my boy illegally, now I am getting to take his boy legally and there is not a damn think he can do about it!!! It will destroy him just knowing that I have his boy as well as Slate ... I'm taking Clay into see him, just the once, so that I can watch his pain and suffering!!! After that I'm done with him, he can rot in hell with his own misery, because he has only brought it on himself!!"
"Yeah, knowing Clay exists and that he can't be a part of the boys life because he will be locked up for the rest of his own, is really going to get to him and have him suffering!!"
"Exactly ... it will destroy him and if he thinks by telling the truth about you in court means he will get to see his son regularly ... he is going to do it, trust me!!" I smile at him
"Let's hope you are right and it does get Gravel finally telling the truth, but I am no looking forward to Dad finding out what you are up to." he smiles at me
"He doesn't need to know." I smile at him
"Yeah, good luck with that one!! You know Dad smells mischief from a mile off, besides he is bound to find out, I doubt you will get into see Gravel before the trial without a rigmarole or a police presence - so be prepared for some earache!!" he sniggers at me as he starts to stare at the ring box again.
"So you can forget my age, my liver and prison, and stop worrying about it, because none of it is going to get in the way of us being together or us having a future, I promise!! I would marry you right now if I could and I don't even want to wait until after you have served your sentence. As soon as my divorce is through, I will be applying for a marriage licence, and the minute I get my hands on that, we will be getting married straight away, even if I have to come into prison to do it!!" I smirk at him
I am laughing in my head, because he does not realise that our marriage licence is already in the middle of being processed, and this is all going to hit him a hell of a lot quicker than he thinks!!
He stares at me thoughtfully for a moment, then a big grin creeps across his face
"So .... are you going to marry me?"
"Only if you ask me properly!" he smirks at me "And don't think you are getting away with it this time either ..."
"The knee ..." I mumble
"Yeah ... the knee!!" he giggles at me
I twist his stool round so that he is facing me and grab the ring box off the table, laughing at him wanting me to get down on one knee again, like I haven't already done this once.
"You like the ring then I take it?" I laugh at him as he just sits there grinning at the ring on his finger. The look of shock when I opened the box had amused me.
"Yeah I love it!! It took me by surprise, it is a hell of a lot bigger than I expected it to be, with you being a miserable tight ass!" he grins at me "It looks expensive!"
"It was, but I thought if I did not get you one bigger and better than the fake one, you would have a tantrum on me!" I grin at him
"Very funny!! You know I am not really bothered about all that materialistic crap any more!!" he laughs at me "You could have bought something smaller and cheaper, I wouldn't have minded."
"I wanted too ... like I told Leafy, you are worth it!" I smile at him
"So does your green thing already know we are getting engaged." he glances away from grinning at the ring on his finger for a second
"Yes he does. I spoke to him about it this morning .... and before you ask, he is fine with it!" I tut at him, wandering when he is going to stop calling Forrest my green thing.
"Oh so he is awake then?" he frowns at me
"Yeah he woke up during the night."
"So he is okay now?"
"Not exactly." I mumble "Mango is having to run a load of tests on him ..."
"Why, what's wrong with him?"
"He has amnesia ... he can not remember a thing before the day we got married ... and this should really please you ... he has even FORGOTTEN that he loves me!" I laugh quietly "He actually asked me WHY we even got married in the first place!!"
"Seriously!?" he laughs
"Yeah ... he has forgotten everything, our emotional attachment, and every second of our life together before we got married!! So you don't have to worry about him any more - it is finally over and done with in his head!" I laugh at him "You can forget worrying about him trying to lure me back to the dark side when you are inside, because he is going to ask Mel to marry him, he is not interested in me any more."
"FINALLY!!" a huge grin creeps across his face again as his eyes go back to his new ring.
I lift him off the stool and carry him over to the bed. Mace starts laughing because it doesn't take him long to spot the jar of honey, which distracts him, he starts to inspect the jar while I start getting undressed.
"Cinnamon infused Honey, this is different." he smirks as he takes off the lid and dips his finger in it to taste it. "Mmmmm that is nice ... but if you think I am eating this, you have got another think coming!!" he starts laughing as his fingers plunge into the jar and he pulls out a cinnamon stick, which he holds suspended over the jar while the honey drips off it.
"Put it back ... we don't have time for your honey fix right now." I smile at him "You will have to wait until later on tonight."
He frowns at me as he drops the cinnamon stick back into the jar. I grab his hand and suck the honey off his fingers slowly, which makes him smirk, then I take the jar off him. Once I have screwed the lid back on the jar, I put it in the draw out of his reach.
"You are right, it is nice." I smirk at him
"Why don't we have time now?" he frowns at me
"I do not want to be going to work completely knackered and all sticky, that is if I ever get there at all, because of how long it takes you to lick it off me."
"Work .." his face scrunches up
"I did tell you last night, that I was only getting about four hours off between shifts today ... but like I said earlier, you and your pencil keep ignoring me!!"
"Oh you tit ... you are starting to sound like you are getting all stupidly jealous of my ... pencil!" he starts almost howling at me.
"Maybe I am!! Keep ignoring me and I will be snapping all your pencils up!!" I grin a him "I knew I was talking to myself and you weren't listening ... to try and get a reaction out of you I even slipped in that I am having an affair with Mango and you actually said okay."
"I did not!"
"You did too!!" I frown at him "Seriously, you have suddenly started blanking me and I can not cope with it ... I am used to you suffocating me, so what has changed and we don't have much time left as it is ..."
"I know I am sorry!!" he pouts "Nothing has changed, I just can't help it. I totally switch off when I am drawing or painting, and switching my head off at the moment is what I need to do. Thinking about what I have got coming to me is driving me crazy especially when you are not here ... I am scared ..." he starts to choke
"So am I!" I mumble "I'm scared for you too, but I am more scared that I am losing you and that you are going off me?"
"Don't be stupid!!" he laughs as he waves his hand at me flashing his ring "Of course I'm not going off you, I love you!!"
"Well it doesn't feel like it to me sometimes!! You can't even be bothered to kiss me when I get in from work, like you normally do, I'm used to having to keep fighting you off! So what is going on - are you going to be divorcing me in the future for your pencil?"
"Very funny!!" he laughs at me sarcastically "Maybe I ought to start kicking off and having tantrums like I used to, because you obviously don't realise that I am really hacked off with you right now!"
"Why, what have I done?" I frown at him
"What was the point of sending Jasmine to Orange Falls ... so we could spend our last three weeks together before the trial ... and instead of doing that, what are you doing as usual ... WORKING!!" he snaps "And you are off again ... another day I have got to spend all on my own, when you should be here with me!!"
"I'm sorry!! The very last thing I want to be doing, especially today, is working, but I covered the night shift for Forrest because Neurology is short staffed at the moment and Mango is knackered!! He has been working double shifts and I had to give him a night off, before he ends up in the next bed to Forrest. Mango seems to really be struggling lately and he won't tell me what is playing on his mind so much it is distracting him." I smile at him "I'll try and make this my last shift."
"It still doesn't help me today does it!!" he grumbles
"I know I'm sorry!! Anyway, I doubt you will miss me ... you and El have some giggling and squealing to do over your new ring!!" I laugh at him as he slaps me "Maybe you should start wedding planning, tell El what kind of marriage you want, so I will know what to do when my divorce comes through." I frown at him and decide to fish a little "You don't want a stupid big fancy wedding with all the trimmings and a thousand guests do you?"
"No ... I would never hear the last of it and have you moaning about how much of an expensive article I am otherwise!!" he laughs at me
"No I am being serious ... honestly, would it upset or disappoint you if we did it quickly with no thrills or do you want a big wedding?"
"Honestly no!!" he chuckles for a moment "I would be happy to marry you if it was just us wearing brown paper bags ... honestly, as long as we get married, I don't care how we do it!"
"Okay, paper bags it is then!" I start laughing at him
"Yeah you would too wouldn't you!!" he starts howling
"When I get back tonight, we can celebrate getting engaged properly however you want, and you can have your honey fix later." I grin at him
"So why have you got undressed exactly, if we don't have time?" he smirks at me
"Why do you think." I smirk back at him "We have time for that, just not the honey, because I need to get at least a few hours sleep and a shower in before I go back to work."
I crawl over him and start to kiss him.
Mentioning the honey again, sends my head off on one, and I need to ask him, to put my mind at rest.
He frowns at me when I stop kissing him and hover over him with a frown on my face.
"Mace ... have you been talking to Atlas about our sex life lately?"
"No why?" he frowns at me "I think you know yourself, we hardly talk about anything these days, he has forgotten me now he has Saffron?"
"So you have not told him what we are doing with the honey or why?"
"No, I haven't told anyone ..." he frowns at me "Have you?"
"No." I laugh
"Why are you asking anyway?"
"I just wandered, if our sex life was still a hot bitching topic between you two."
"Like I have anything to bitch about any more!!" he laughs at me "Besides I think you know how upset I get and how touchy I am on the subject of my inability to have a proper sex life ... so no, the only person I talk to about our sex life, is you."
"Not even El?"
"No .." he chuckles "She is a woman, she would never understand what us men have to go through, especially those in my position. So what is the point of my talking to her about it!!"
"Okay." I smirk at him "Now stop talking, we are wasting time and your mouth could be doing something much better!"
He laughs at me before he starts to kiss me again.
I can not help but think ...
If Mace hasn't told anyone about the honey, and I know I definitely haven't!! Maybe Tapestry is telling the truth about his spirit friends, and they really do exist after all. How else would anyone know, or how else could that honey have got into my hiding space??!!
I just hope one of them is not here watching us now!!
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Boolprop SimNano
This Chapter ... Word count = 5,119
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