After Crimson has looked over the rest of the article, and seen what profession his Grandfather does for a living, we stare at each other wide eyed. He makes a quiet choking sound, then we both burst up into hysterical laughter at the same time.
The honourable Reverent Crimson Blaze ... he was a vicar, a parish priest, at the time the news article was printed. Picturing Ruby as a holy man's daughter, who's behaviour is far from holy, is just too funny for words.
The harder Crimson laughs, the harder I laugh until we are both literally doubled up and having a fit of absolute hysterics. The tears are rolling down both of our faces, and I am having to hold my stomach because I am getting a stitch from so much laughing.
It takes us both quite a while to get the laughter out of our system.
"Oh well I guess that has blown it ... a man of the cloth is definitely not going to be accepting of his mixed berry Grandchildren is he!" Crimson laughs quietly as he throws himself down onto the couch "Aren't they the one's who shout the loudest that colour mixing is a sin in the eyes of Berry!?"
"You never know unless you try .... and I'm sure you will be shown some forgiveness, after all you didn't ask to be created. It is her sin, not yours, and she obviously named you after him. That has got to earn you some brownie points." I laugh
"Yeah until he hears about Mom and Strawberry promiscuous behaviour, and the mess Maize got himself into with Coral." we both start laughing "Saffron being gay, Cherry's colourless husband and triplets won't go down very well either!! Lets face it - mixed and colourless berries, adultery, fornication, promiscuity, homosexuality. We have it all ... our family is full of sin!! He will be fending us off with his cross and condemning us to hell!!"
"Sin is in the eye of the beholder, and it is our duty to forgive ..."
"Hey Mini Leaf ... please don't you get going all religious on me." he chuckles
"Fat chance of that when I am the ultimate sin ... two tone." we both laugh
"I seriously can't even picture my Mother, going to church, preying to the big man and being well behaved and all prim and proper!!"
"Man I would love to have been a fly on the wall when Ruby went to confession ..."
"Yeah ... Forgive me Father, because I have sinned ... again .. and again ..." he starts howling "I wander if she was sent away to the boarding school, for banging all the choir boys!"
"Oh stop!! I just had this vivid picture pop up in my head. Picture a row of smiling choir boys ... Ruby on her knees in front of them ... but she's not singing or praying!!"
"No because I should imagine her mouth would be too full of something else!"
This has us both cracking up again. I can not help but be a little in awe of Crimson, as I watch him becoming hysterical again. It is good that he can laugh and even joke about all this, rather than letting it upset him and dragging him down.
The bedroom door opens and Forrest walks in. He stands in the doorway frowning at us both, sat on the couch laughing our heads off.
"It is Daddy Leaf." I laugh at him as he continues to stand watching us.
"I thought I would come and let you know, we are back. We have not found your Dad." he pulls a miserable face at me then starts frowning again
"Okay." I mumble
"Your Mom wants to know if you want any lunch?"
"No thanks. We have eaten." I smile at him before turning to Crimson "Unless you want another sandwich?"
"No I'm fine, we have a pizza date later remember." he smiles at me
"Are you two okay?" Forrest asks curiously
"Yeah ... we are sinfully amused." I laugh back at him
"Oh Berry ..." Crimson starts choking
Me saying sinfully, has Crimson roaring and he collapses into another fit of laughter. I can't help but laugh at him. Forrest doesn't because he does not know why we are laughing so much, he now looks even more confused.
"It is unusual to see you two together." Forrest frowns at me, as he glances at Crimson, and starts to watch him almost suspiciously
"Not really. We have actually been hanging out together quite a lot lately, but generally we are also with Wisty and Parsley." I smile at him
"It is just the two of us now we have both dumped our baggage!" Crimson chuckles quietly
"So what are you two up to?"
"Don't worry Daddy dear I'm old enough to have men in my bedroom, and behave myself. We are not up to any funny business if that is what you are thinking ... and if we were, we would be using handcuffs, taking precautions, and that door would be locked." this sets Crimson off howling again.
"No you cheeky madam, that isn't what I was thinking." he laughs at me "It's just that I wouldn't have expected either of you to be laughing right now after what has happened to Ruby and what is going on with Alpine."
"Neither of us are the crying type." I smile at him "Besides Doctor Rock, isn't laughter supposed to be the best medicine?!" I grin at him cheekily "You should try practising what you preach Doc, it's good for your soul."
"Seriously Mint, you are cracking me up!!" Crimson starts howling again.
"Don't push it young lady, and it's Doctor Leaf if you don't mind!" Forrest smirks at me then starts laughing as he points at Crimson "So what are you doing to him, to create this much laughter?!"
"Nothing ... we are now partners in crime and play detective." he frowns at me "We have been using the computers trying to track down Ruby's parents and siblings. Crimson thinks they have a right to know she has faded."
"So what's with all this laughter?" he frowns at me
"We've found something a little ... no ... very funny ..." I glance at Crimson
"Show him." he smiles at me "I guess Leafy could also do with a laugh right now."
I give Forrest the laptop, and explain we have found an old news article about Ruby from the boarding school. We both watch Forrest as he starts reading. He looks up a few times and frowns, then I see his face change, and he starts to laugh quietly.
"Oh Berry!!" he carries on laughing as he hands the lap top back to me "Now I see why you might be laughing ... no disrespect Crimson, but Ruby, a vicar's daughter!! She was not exactly the religious type. It is no wander she ran away!!"
"That is why we have been laughing so much!"
"I didn't know Ruby's surname was Blaze, I always thought it was Red." he frowns suddenly
"You are not on your own with that one." Crimson mumbles
"Do you still want me to ask him?" I frown at Crimson
"Yeah, because I could really do with seeing both of them now." he smiles at me
"Daaaad ......." I smile at Forrest a little on the sickly side
"Okay madam, what do you want?" he laughs at me
"Crimson needs to slyly check out both of his parents medical records." he frowns at me then Crimson
"Basically, we have found something a little dodgy with both of my parents." Crimson smiles at Forrest "I've asked Mango, but he won't let me look at medical records without something official, which takes time, and I don't have time as far as Mom goes, her funeral is in just over a week - and it could take weeks for the paperwork to come through." he smiles "If I could just sneak a look, it would help me a lot, and before you even ask ... no I won't be busting your ass. I will be breaking the law with you - so we will be even."
"I can access Ruby's medical records quite easily, but... your Dad is a little tricky . He doesn't have a doctor in this town, his records are not based here - Apple Hill or Apple Falls, I'm not too sure which."
"Really?!" Crimson frowns at him "I didn't know that." he starts to look thoughtful
"Explain .. what is dodgy?" Forrest frowns at Crimson
"Well with my Mom obviously, it is her surname. On their marriage certificate her maiden name is Red. I did originally want to see her records to find out her parents names and where she was born, to give us an idea of where to start looking for her parents. However, I know that now and her parents names ... but I still need to see what her medical records are saying. I was ten when that news report was printed, and for all I know, that missing persons report could still be valid, and she has lied to us about seeing her parents after we were born, when she said they disowned her." he smiles at Forrest. "We can't find any of Mom's papers at home, birth certificate, marriage certificate, passport etc, or any of Dads. It is like she has disposed of them all, possibly to hide something. I highly suspect that when I check the Red County data base, she is still going to be listed as a missing person ... why else would she hide and lie about her real surname?! The authorities would have found her straight away, if her medical records had been legitimate, which makes me suspect that they aren't."
"I see your point." Forrest mumbles
"You know yourself Forrest, your medical records are hard to hide and get away from. I suspect if her medical records are saying her surname is Red, and her birthplace and parents do not tie up with what I have found on the Red County births register. I think to wipe away her real identity she has to have obtained a false Identity or had her records fabricated ... which is going to bug me in a professional capacity. She was only a teenager, so how, and where could she have obtained a false identity from?"
"Well I can probably answer that question for you right now." Forrest laughs quietly "Gravel Rock. If there is anything dodgy that you need doing in this town, like fake ID's, he has always been the one to get it done!!"
"Yeah, me and Mint have both thought exactly the same thing. I suspect he did Mom's dodgy shit, which might tie in with how the berry hole got to be Scarlet's creator." Crimson frowns at Forrest "Gravel being the dodgy bent copper, has that always been common knowledge in this town, because I've known him all my life, I worked with him, and none of us at the station had a clue, especially not me!!"
"Yes and no. It all depends on who you are and if he has ever done anything dodgy for you. There was only ever a select few that knew the truth about him, unfortunately, I am one of them, but even I didn't know the half of it!!! I knew he bent the law when it suited him, but I didn't realise to what extreme!!" he laughs "He had a runner - a front man ... which I think you know now. Dodgy Swan - who has always been the visible criminal bad boy in this town. Obviously people went to Swan, but it was Gravel who was actually behind him, doing all the evil dealings. From what I've seen, learned and experienced, Gravel only ever revealed himself to those he could blackmail, use and abuse ... Mace, Turmeric, even me, we are prime examples. While everyone else saw his squeaky clean angelic front."
"You was here when the school gang landed in town ..."
"Yes I was ... but of course, Ruby landed way before they did. The pregnant teenage run away, who was smuggled into town by our loveable orange nerd." he laughs
"So how is your memory, do you remember Mom coming here." he smiles
"Yeah, my amnesia has only wiped away everything before the day me and Granite got married." he smiles for a moment "So yeah, I remember Ruby landing. I doubt anyone who was around at the time, can forget Ruby landing." he laughs
"Why .... or dare I ask?"
"I think you probably already have a very good idea." he rolls his eyes "I shouldn't really be saying this to you Crimson, because she is your Mother ... but, you think Strawberry's behaviour is bad. She has nothing on your Mother at the same age." he smiles awkwardly
"Explain to me what she was like ... I am way past being offended by anything anyone has to say about her!"
"Ruby was a right live wire and went through the boys and men in this town, like a whirl wind!! It was practically a different one every day, and she didn't hide it either, she did it openly for everyone to see. She caused a hell of a lot of trouble, even being pregnant!! She was off the rails and it was almost like she was in self destruct mode." he laughs "Spicey was pulling his hair out with her, they were finding it very hard to control her!! Spicey even said at one point if this is the way they have been carrying on or there are others like her at that boarding school - he was pulling Mango out of there. I think the only thing that stopped him from doing it was because Lilly had been here in the school holidays, they knew Mango was a very sensible boy and Lilly was a nice sensible girl. They could already see that Mango was getting very giddy over Lilly, and thought if he was going to be doing anything like Ruby, he would be doing it with Lilly and they trusted that they could be sensible about it." he rolls his eyes "I actually felt sorry for your Dad, even before he landed in town. We all knew the story about the pregnancy and that there were three candidates for the babies Father. By the time Sunny landed in town, he was pretty much a laughing stock, for getting himself saddled with Ruby. None of us thought that their relationship would last five minutes. Surprisingly she did calm down a lot after the gang landed, but I think you know like everyone else, her promiscuous behaviour has never stopped ... instead of doing it openly like she had been, she then started to do it secretly behind closed doors, probably to stop your Dad finding out."
"Gravel?" Crimson frowns at him "Before or after me and Cherry were born, I don't suppose you remember seeing her with Gravel abnormally or excessively do you?"
"Mmmm it's been too long ago now, for me to say. At the time I was pretty much having my own relationship struggles, my head was all over the place, to notice what Gravel was doing. " Forrest pulls a face "But I would say, if Gravel did do what you think for your Mother, it is more than likely she dealt with Swan and didn't have a clue Gravel was behind it, unless what she was hiding was bad enough for Gravel to have a hold over her. " he laughs "As for her sleeping with Gravel, it was probably inevitable, we all had our chance, from the moment she landed in town to the day she faded, anyone could ride the town bike if they wanted to, and most took it."
"So have you ever taken your chance?" Crimson frowns at him, which makes me laugh
"Hell no!! I seriously can't believe you just asked me that question." Forrest laughs at Crimson a little awkwardly
"I'm not going to punch you or anything if you did!!" Crimson laughs "Or I'd have to knock half of the town out, starting with T!!"
"I'm no angel obviously, but your Mother, definitely NOT!!" he laughs "Besides, I've always been gay remember ... and hiding Mel and what has been going on here was hard enough without complicating things!!" he smirks
"Leafy, you are as gay as I am, so that won't convince me that you haven't had a ride of the bike!" Crimson laughs at him
"Seriously, not that I have to prove myself, but, before my amnesia it wasn't just a child phobia I was dealing with. According to Mango I also had a Cromophobia too. An aversion to the colour Red. I found my red school mate drown in the meadow pond when I was a child, and after that I hated the colour red with a passion. I saw a red person coming and I walk away. It was that bad that Mango tried to rota me and Cardinal Blush, who is red, on different shifts, just so his colour didn't get to me. So your Mother I have always kept well away from."
"I'm sorry Leafy, I was only pulling your chain!!" Crimson mumbles awkwardly "I didn't mean to make you think I was actually accusing you!!"
"It's fine." he laughs quietly
"I'm just curious I guess. Everyone tip toes around me and watches what they say. Nobody will tell me just how bad she was, and who exactly she got her claws into. I can't help but wander exactly what she put my Dad through!!"
"They don't tell you, because you are her son!" Forrest chuckles "Really you are better off not knowing just how bad she was. I'm sure you have enough bad memories of your Mother to keep you awake at night, without winding yourself up over who she has been sleeping with behind your Dad's back!!"
"I guess." he mumbles
"Well, It looks like I will have to pay dodgy Swan a visit in the nick. I might just have found something else to pin on Gravel, if we are actually on the right track with all this!" he smirks then raises his eyebrows "So Leafy, can you help me take a quick look at Mom and Dad's medical records."
"Why your Dad's?" Forrest frowns
"Dad's records in Amber, contradict what we know. According to his marriage entry here he was married to Mom, but according to the marriage entry in Amber Meadow, he was not married to Mom at all, but to somebody else."
I watch Forrest's face drop. He just stands staring at Crimson in a strange way, which puzzles me, and I think Crimson too because he starts to frown at him suspiciously.
"Leafy ... you know something don't you." Crimson squints at Forrest
"I ..." he stutters and clams up
"Mustard Maize." Crimson just drops his name out then he watches Forrest face twisting. There suddenly becomes an awkward silence in the room.
"Dad you need to spit it out, because unless you haven't noticed you are being interrogated by PC Shine. Even I can see your head is in turmoil right now. Your face has just dropped you right in it!!" I laugh to try and snap them both out of just intensely staring at each other.
"You know Mustard Maize don't you." Crimson squints at Forrest "Of course you do, when he has been spotted visiting Mace in the house you own."
"Have you spoken to any of your brothers and sisters about Mustard since you found out?" Forrest frowns at Crimson.
"No."
"Good!!" he seems to sigh with relief "So is it just you and Mint who knows about this?"
"Yeah ... why?"
"Give me your phone ..." Forrest holds his hand out to Crimson who is just frowning at him "Give me your phone!!" he snaps loudly.
Crimson glances across the room to where he left his phone. He jumps off the couch and picks up his phone off the desk, frowning at Forrest confused by his request. Before Crimson can stuff it into his pocket, Forrest snatches the phone off him and stuffs it into his back pocket, then he pulls his own phone out.
"Stay right there and don't either of you move!!" Forrest says quite sternly "I'll have your phone too." he holds his hand out to me and I just numbly pass it to him. If I didn't know he was my Dad right now, I think I would be scared.
Forrest starts to make a phone call and all we can do is watch him, wandering what is going on. We watch as Forrest closes and turns the key to lock my bedroom door ... Me and Crimson just frown at each other.
We sit listening to the phone on the other end of the line ringing, when Forrest clicks the call onto load speaker.
"Well, if it isn't our favourite green thing." Mace laughs "You must be desperate if you are phoning me!"
"Shut up you idiot!!" Forrest snaps "I take it Granite is with you, seeing as you have just answered HIS phone."
"Yeah, he is in the shower. I'll get him to phone you when he's finish."
"No, you need to get him out of the shower!! Crimson has found out about Mustard."
"SHIT!! How?!"
"He's a detective ... I did warn everyone this would happen, but none of you would listen!!"
"Okay you twat ... you was right ... what do you want, a gold medal?" Mace laughs at him
"Shut up you sarcy cow!!" Forrest laughs at him
"GRAN!!!" Mace shouts "Forrest, please tell me Crimson hasn't said anything to Saffy."
"No, thankfully I caught him in time. He is at mine with Mint, and hasn't had a chance to say anything to anyone." he mumbles
"Tell me Mint knows too."
"Yeah." he mumbles
"Shit this is getting out of hand! So how did Crimson find out?" he mumbles "GRAN!!" we hear him shout really loud again.
"Poking around in the birth, deaths and marriages register trying to find his Mom's parents."
"Just hang on ... he can't hear me with the shower running." Mace mumbles.
"Turn on the sink tap ... that will get him out!" Forrest laughs
"Awesome idea!" Mace starts laughing really loudly
"What's going on Forrest?" Crimson snaps
"Just hold on Crimson ... we will explain everything to you when everyone gets here."
"Who's everyone?"
Forrest doesn't get to answer his question because we suddenly hear Granite screaming, which sets Mace off hysterically laughing. Forrest starts to chuckle to himself.
"You TWAT!!" Granite yells "What the hell did you do that for ... you know turning that tap on runs the water icy cold!" he laughs sarcastically
"Leafy told me to do it."
"Yeah right ... stop trying to be funny Mace." Granite laughs "If you are after sex, you are going the totally wrong way about it. My balls have just shrivelled up to the size of peas, from the shock, so you can forget it now!! All you are getting is bent over my knee and a good spanking!!"
"I bet you didn't know Gran has turned into a kinky fuck did you Leafy!!"
This has us all howling
"Tell me Leafy is listening to this!!" we hear Granite choke
"Yes baby!! We have a problem ... Crimson has found out about Mustard!"
"SHIT!!"
"Leafy you twat!!." Granite's voice comes quite loudly out of the phone, which Mace must have passed him "Thank you MATE ... I owe you one for reminding him about the taps!!"
"It was my pleasure." Forrest laughs
"Yeah I bet!!" he snaps "Is it true, has Crimson found out?"
"Yeah, I've got him locked up in Mint's bedroom, with Mint, they both know."
"SHIT!! Mint too?" he snaps "Hang on ... what is Crimson doing in Mints bedroom? I know you would love to see those two together, please tell me you have already been meddling to try and push them together!!" he starts really laughs
"GRANITE just SHUT UP." Forrest virtually shouts as he turns away from us, I think in embarrassment.
Me and Crimson look at each other. Crimson raises his eyebrows at me which makes me snigger.
"You have haven't you, you've been trying to play matchmaker!!" Granite starts howling
"No actually I haven't!! We came home and found them together. Whatever they are doing, they are doing by themselves so JUST DROP IT!!" he snaps angrily "We have more important things to be worrying about right now ... Granite concentrate!!"
"Leaf you kill me!!"
"You did hear both me and Mace tell you .... Crimson has found out about Mustard!"
"Yes I heard you!!" he chuckles "Can't you just fob Crimson off and throw him off the scent. He has got enough to deal with at the moment ... he doesn't need this on top, and neither do Scarlet or Saffron. Scarlet is already broken, even though Sunny was not biologically her Dad, to her he will always be her Dad!! Finding this out on top of what she is already trying to deal with, could just finish her off. Scarlet is worrying me enough, but Saffy is really frightening me right now!!"
"Why is he frightening you?"
"He has already started to cut himself again, because his head has totally gone. We should never have let him leave the hospital after the suicide attempt. We should have forced him into a stint in psych. Saffy CAN NOT find out about Sunny and Mustard!! I think you know, it could be disastrous!!"
"I did think about trying to cover it up for a minute, but what's the point Gran. It is too dangerous, especially for Saffron. I am afraid it will blow up in our face if we don't deal with this properly!! Crimson is training to be a Detective, he has found a lead, and he is going to keep digging until he uncovers all of the truth. We can't stop him now!!"
"So what are you suggesting we do?"
"It is better if we all sit him down and tell it to him properly. We can contain it then, if he goes off half cocked only knowing half the truth, it isn't going to take Saffy long to find out, and that is the last thing we need Like you said it could be disastrous!! We need to do what we did with Ruby, just because Crimson knows, it doesn't mean they all have to!!"
"I suppose, we could try that again."
"It is the only thing we can do to avoid another mega bomb dropping on the extended family!!"
"I guess we had better round the troops up then! We will come round to yours, it is safer than doing it here." he mumbles "What about Mustard?"
"I think Mustard needs to be here. I doubt Crimson will believe us otherwise, he needs to hear it from the horses mouth and see some proof, photo's and stuff."
"Okay .. I'll get Mace to phone Mustard, while I get hold of T .. you track down Tapestry and expect us to land pretty soon."
"I'm going to have to tell Mel, aren't I ... she's going to wander why I've got these two locked up in here and why you lot are landing. I won't be able to hide it from her, she can read me like a book when I'm lying." he mumbles "and Meadow is here."
"Get rid of Meadow, way too many people know already ... leave Mel till we get there, she will have to hear it when they do, which is not going to do her blood pressure any good." he tuts "I guess she will have to know, because we are going to have to keep Crimson at yours and away from Saffy and the others, until he gets the shock out of his system!!"
"Okay"
"We need to hope we don't get the same kind of performance out of him as we did Ruby!!"
"I doubt we will. If it was Strawberry then yes, but not Crimson. I'm sure he is sensible enough to do the right thing especially for Saffy."
"I bloody hope so!" he mumbles "Tell Mel to get the kettle and cheese toasties on. We shouldn't be too long!"
"Okay." Forrest mumbles.
Forrest closes his phone and stares down at the floor like he is deep in thought.
"Forrest .. you need to spit it out .. what is going on?" Crimson snaps at him
"You will find out as soon as they get here." he mumbles
"I would rather you told me now!!" he snaps angrily "You can't keep me and Mint locked up like this against our will!!"
"I'm sorry Crimson, arrest me later if you feel you have to. However I think you will probably be thanking me instead, for stopping you from doing something stupid, especially talking to any of your Brothers and Sisters. That door will only be locked until the others get here. You need to hear the whole story and all the facts before you react to it. Everything we have done, was to protect you and your siblings from the truth and spare you from a lot of heartbreak."
"You need to tell me ... spare us from what truth ...."
"Please don't start bombarding me with questions ... everything will be explained to you properly when Granite, Mace, Turmeric, Tapestry and Mustard get here." he frowns at me "Unfortunately Caramel and Mint are going to have to hear it too, and like the rest of us, they are going to have to be trusted to keep it to themselves." he rolls his eyes "Crimson, we hoped that none of you Shine kids would ever find out, and now that you have, unfortunately we can't spare you from it. I just hope you are going to do the right thing, by keeping it to yourself, and spare your siblings from the same heartache that you are about to face, especially Saffron."
"I'm not going to like this am I?"
"No unfortunately you won't." he mumbles "I need to go downstairs and get rid of my Sister. You heard Granite, they are on their way, and as soon as they get here, we will be up to explain everything to you."
"Just answer me one question then I'll shut up until they get here .... " Crimson asks Forrests who just rolls his eyes and laughs "I've heard Saffy mentioned a few times now by you, Granite and Mace, and I get the feeling you are trying to protect him in particular. I highly doubt that the Amber marriage register is a clerical error, and you've kind of confirmed that between you keep mentioning Mustard. Mustard is a bloke ... and you gay guys protect your own ... "
"I'm straight remember, you have got the proof sat right next to you." Forrest grins and holds his finger up which makes both of us laugh
"Okay so I forgot for a minute, that you've been pulling the wool over all our eyes for the last twenty years ..." Crimson laughs "Oh fudge I really can not believe that I am just about to say this!!" Crimson runs his fingers through his hair like he is suddenly stressed out. "My Dad ... was he doing the same or a similar thing as you ... was he ... was he secretly gay?"
"Yes detective, that is exactly what he was." he mumbles quietly
Forrest smiles sympathetically. before he walks out the bedroom and closes the door behind himself. I am already in shock as we sit quietly and listen to him turn the key in the door.
"This has to be a joke, right?!" I turn to stare at Crimson
"Leafy didn't look like he was joking to me." he mumbles "That conversation that we heard, sounded all too serious to be a joke!!"
Crimson stares at me wide eyed before he throws himself forcefully back on the bed. He just lies there quietly for a moment, staring up at the ceiling, before he starts to hit his forehead with the palm of his hand.
"Stop it!!" I snap as I grab for his hand "You are going to hurt yourself!"
"Hurt!" he laughs sarcastically "What are a few slaps compared to the hurt that I think my Dad is just about to deal me!!"
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