Wednesday, 6 February 2013

Chapter 23 - Gen 1 - Lilly

~Titanium ~

I couldn't pace around my room any longer.  Mango has been gone for hours and I don't have any idea how Alpine is or even if he is still alive.  I try to convince myself that the more time that passes the better the outcome will be, I'm sure Mango would have phoned me by now if Alpine hadn't made it.  But still I can't rest.   I am really worried for him and would hate Caramel to have to go through what I am going through, and they have two children, this really isn't fair for them.  I feel guilty, this is all my fault!!  I tried to phone her but of course her phone is switched off.

I started to walk down the stairs, I could hear a child talking away to itself, but it didn't sound like Affair.  I just took for granted it would be Bayleaf, Crimson or Cherry, my nephew is collecting a right little cirlce of friends, they are only Sunny and Alpines kids, but still Affair has a better social life than the rest of us, his little friends are always round here to stay over and play.

My thoughts are tied up concentrating on having to face my parents who I know are downstairs and that is the only thing that has kept me up in my room for so long - because I wanted to avoid facing them.  I stopped dead in my tracks at the sight of the child at the bottom of the stairs.  A purple child who is now just staring up at me and has gone silent.  It felt like a thousand emotions hit me all at once.

I just stood there closed my eyes and screamed.  When I screamed so did the child.

I felt a pair of arms go round me "LILY, LILY,  ITS OK - It's just Wisteria, my daughter, don't get upset, please."  Prelude was holding me and trying to calm me down, I think he already knew why I had screamed.  The sight of a purple child, I saw my babys' face not the child who is actually sitting there.  I had no idea that Wisteria was even here.

"I'm sorry I thought ........."

"I know, I know, I'm sorry I didn't think with her being purple, and I'm sorry I didn't know any of them were coming either they just turned up!!"  He bent down to down to pick up Wisteria who is still crying

"I'm sorry I didn't mean to upset her!!"  I couldn't even look at the child,  I felt a little guilty, she is my niece,  but it is just a little too soon for me, I find it hard enough having Affair around me at the moment, this child I don't know.

"Why did Mango rush out like his butt was on fire?"  he asked me  "You two haven't been arguing have you??"

"Didn't he tell you - he went to the hospital he was needed in theatre - Lime she's done it again - Alpine this time, he said it wasn't looking good, she just drove straight at them like she did with us, that's all I know."

I turned and looked at my parents, neither of them spoke they both just sat looking at me - they didn't look any different to the last time I saw them, maybe just a few more wrinkles, but I bet I looked a hell of a lot different to them, I was a child when I left, I'm now an adult that is a lot of years that we have spent apart.  Did they look bothered about seeing me again?  Not on your life!!!!  Not even a smile, but I never really expected anything else.  Seeing them again brought back a load of old horrible memories that I didn't like.  I really didn't need this now.  I told Prelude I was going to the hospital and ran out of the house nearly knocking Violet flying in the process of trying to get away.

I walked into the hospital room that a nice nurse had brought me too when I asked for Mango at the nurses station.  I am relieved to see Alpine lying in the bed, still alive, I was beginning to think the worst.  Mango is  just stood there staring at the machines that are beeping away at a regular pace.  I looked over at Alpine, all his hair gone, half of his head bandaged, an air machine going up and down making the most awful noise - I really hated seeing him like that.


"Lilly, what are you doing here?"  he carried on staring at the machine, he didn't even turn to look at me.

"It's been hours and we haven't heard anything, I was going crazy not knowing, I can't get in touch with Caramel either her phones is off."  While I have been sat at home upstairs alone going out of my mind waiting for Mango to call me - I realise suddenly that this had actually taken my mind off Cosmic and the baby for a few hours at least.

"She is asleep in the relatives room, she got into a right state, Sunny came and collected the kids but she won't leave him."  I know exactly how she must have been feeling but at least Alpine looks like he might be alright.  "It took us 5 hours in theatre to sort him out, but he is hanging on, just about, I've never been so scared in my life, we nearly lost him a few times, I'm never going to go into theatre with anyone I know personally again - it was awful!!!"  he still hadn't turned away from the machine.

"He is going to make it isn't he?"

"Fingers crossed - he's been stable for a while, we are not sure if he is every going to walk again though, she made a right mess of him, its a miracle he even lived through this!!"  he looked at me then a strange expression on his face "Promise me Lilly you won't go out alone again, not ever to the cemetery"  I nodded even though I am not sure I could keep the promise of not just taking off to the cemetery alone.  He smiled at me "I'll just finish up some paperwork then I'll take you home, there is nothing else I can do here other than sit and drive myself mental watching him."

I sat down crying again watching Alpine lying there unconscious, the machines keeping him alive, the air machine breathing for him, tubes all over the place.  Mango said he would probably be like that for a week or two, they are keeping him in a drug induced coma to give his body and brain chance to start healing itself.

Something in my brain snapped and I started to feel angry.  I realized that since Cosmic and the baby had faded that is one emotion that I hadn't even felt, too busy moping over the fact that they weren't here any longer I had not once been angry over the reason why they are no longer here.  Lime and what she has done!!!

While Mango sat at the desk scribbling away on a few pieces of paper, I sat there wandering if Lime planned to finish us all off - this was all my fault - if I had never played that stupid colour fading game with Lime, none of this would be happening - Cosmic would still be here and Alpine wouldn't be lying in that bed fighting for his life.  Why didn't I just sit back and stay quiet and let her bully me until the end of school, a few bruises would have been a lot better than this!! 

Maizie walked into the room, she saw me and cut me the most awful look  "Mango, Clarke wants to see you again before you leave - he's in his office."

"I'm nearly done here - thanks for putting the boot in by the way, nice to know who I can and can not trust!!!"  It always surprised me the tone of voice that he used with Maizie when he spoke to her.

"Are you in trouble?  Is that why Clarke wants to see you again?"

"Yes thank you!!!  He's already given me one rollicking, I wouldn't be surprised if I'm not about to get fired!!  Now is that all because I'm busy."

"Mango ..........."

"That's all Nurse Lane thank you." he snapped at her

"Fine!!"  she snapped back before she stormed off slamming the door behind her.

After he had been to see Clarke, we left the hospital after checking on Alpine and Caramel who was still asleep in the relatives room.   We only had to cross the road to get from the hospital to my home so we went on foot.  Mango is very quiet and I am curious, thinking about the conversation I'd heard between him and Maizie earlier.

"Are you in some sort of trouble?"  He smiled at me then putting his arm around me.

"I went into the theatre with Alpine when I shouldn't have, I know him personally and its hospital policy we are not allowed to attend when it's friends and family because of the emotional connection, I broke the rule because I just couldn't stand around and do nothing.  I thought something fishy was going on after about half an hour in when viewing started to fill up with some of the department heads - I was being watched."

"Viewing?"  I asked

"There is a glass area where staff can stand and watch without having to come inside the theatre, its used mostly by students.   Maizie told someone I knew Alpine personally and they came to watch me.  After we had finished Clarke gave me a right telling off."

"So why did he want to see you again - did you get the sack like you thought you might?"

"No, that's what I expected but he wanted to see me about something else .......... Oh, Great!!!  It looks like Maizie is on the war path!!  I'll have to talk to you about it tomorrow."  I turned round and saw her marching in our direction, she did not look happy, probably because she had seen Mango hugging me.

"We need to talk."  I heard her say, I told Mango I'd leave them too it and slipped into the house, the look on her face said they were just about to have a bust up and I really didn't want to listen to it.  Before I'd even shut the door Maizie started yelling at Mango.

I am closing the door on one argument just to open it onto another. 

Prelude and Violet are going at it hammer and tongue over their kids when I walk into the house.  Violet is crying and Prelude is looking mad.  I saw that evil look on his face that I haven't seen properly since we were children and he used to look at me that way, I didn't hang around that look of his has always scared me, in a way I felt sorry for Violet.   It has started already, the first of many arguments that are going to go on in this house before the week is over no doubt.

Violet for one is really making me angry, very angry, treating Affair like a lepar she doesn't want him anywhere near her, and refused to have anything to do with him.  It broke my heart to see him running towards her saying "Mommy" and she just totally blanked him and walked away.  Mom and Dad are not much better, they haven't paid the slightest bit of attention to him either since they arrived.  It hurt me, she has a child there that she can so easily turn her back on, how could she, I would trade places with her any day, how can she not love her own child?   I didn't understand when my child is lying next to his Dad in the Cemetery and it's so not fair that I only ever got to hold him once, when he was cold and lifeless - life is just not fair!!

Suddenly I felt very hungy, I couldn't remember the last time I'd actually eaten something, so I went to eat.  Someone had left a huge plate of salad on the side so I grabbed some and sat down to eat it.  Dad came into the kitchen, he too grabbed a plate and sat down, we both ate in silence.  I had not intention of talking to him.  Just as I was finishing my food he spoke.

"I was watching you outside with that ORANGE friend of yours."  the way he said the word orange made me look up at him.  "What do you think you're playing at??"  he snapped at me.  I just sat looking at him, I should have known the only reason he would speak to me would be to pick a fight.

"Well?"  he snapped I still just sat there saying nothing, I could feel the anger building up in me  "Don't just sit there like a dumb idiot .............." and away he went, he exploded ranting on about me and Mango and the colour code and the abomination he had seen outside - a mixed berry - he had seen Maizie.  "I saw him with his hands all over you."  Pathetic man, Mango hugged me - what's wrong with that??!!

I'd heard enough, I just got up and went off into the living room without saying a word or listening to the rest of what he had to say.  Suddenly I found myself feeling again like I had when I was a child and I HATED it.

He followed me .............

"Don't you walk away from me when I'm talking to you!!"  he yelled at me  "I can't believe that Prelude is letting you get mixed up with these people."

I lost it.  I'm not sure that he would have expected it.  I used to be a scared child who never fought back but not any more, he was always going to get a piece of me before he went home at the end of this week whether he liked it or not, I just didn't think it would happen so soon.   we started yelling and screaming at each other.   His problem as usual, colour - always colour, me in particular and my lack of it.

That's when I smelt it, he yelled in my face and the smell on his breath nearly knocked me backwards.

"You're drunk!!!!"

"And what??" he spat at me nastily

"I might have known!!!  I thought you had stopped all that crap - what is it, you can't bare to be around me and Affair unless you are drunk is that it??  Why did you even bother coming here?!"

Mom, Mulberry and Violet all came running at the sound of our yelling, they stood and watched as we flung insult after insult at each other.

Mulberry tried to jump in he shouted at Dad to leave me alone

"Shut up Mulberry, butt out boy unless you want some of what your sister is going to get if she doesn't start behaving herself!!"  he rared at Mulberry who backed away looking shocked  "And you can make the most of this week boy because after this visit you will not be coming back here again - not after what I've just seen - mixed berries it's disgusting!!"

"You leave Mulberry alone, you are nothing but an evil bully."  I screamed at him before storming off upstairs away from him, taking Mulberry with me, scared of what Dad might do to him.

I am milling about the house now trying to keep out of everyone's way, pretty impossible in a 3 bedroomed house with three extra adults milling around who I really didn't want to have around me. Trying to avoid my half cut Dad is the hardest thing, Violet and Mom always have their heads together whispering, neither of them showing any interest in talking to me and really I hoped it stayed that way.  I felt awfull and uncomfortable in my own home. I don't know how I am going to live like this for a week, and I wouldn't even be bothering to try if Mulberry wasn't here.

I lost my temper again when I heard my Mother being nasty to Affair.

"Move child and stop grizzling you're getting on my nerves."  Mom snapped at him

He is grizzly, he is getting tired and wants some attention and he chose to go to the wrong person, he grabbed her leg trying to get her attention she kicked out quite violently Affair still clinging to her leg, she sent him flying away from her, he landed quite hard face down on the carpet.  Prelude is at work and Mulberry is upstairs playing on one of Preludes guitars, it's a good job I'm here or I dread to think what she might have done to him.  It brought back vivid memories of how they used to be with me.

I saw red - snatching an hysterical Affair up off the floor, he is crying for me now "L i L"   I could feel my heart breaking for him again.  I started screaming at my mother

"Lilly are you ok?"  Mango came rushing into the house he must have been outside when he heard me and Mom screaming at each other.

"No not really, she's trying to abuse Affair like she abused me!!"

"WHO ...... ARE you anyway?"  Mom snapped at Mango

"He's my best friend and you can leave him alone!!  Just get lost Mother, I don't know why you Dad or Violet are still here if me, Affair and this town are causing you so much of a problem.!!!" 

"I didn't think I'd see you until tommorrow."  I said to him, wandering why he had come back again.

"I was worried, you weren't answering your phone."  he smiled at me  "I was only over the road, I had to pop back to the hospital, Alpine took a turn for the worst, but don't panic, he's fine now, he had to go back into theatre - but he's still fighting"

Mango stayed for a while then had to go home, he needed to sleep before his next shift at the hospital, I could see him worrying over leaving me, but I told him I was fine even though I wasn't sure that I would be.  He promised to drop in after his shift tomorrow afternoon to take me to the cemetery and he left.

I'd hardly made myself comfortable on the couch when Dad sat down next to me.

"I don't want to hear you talk to your mother like that again, do you hear me!!"  Oh here we go again!!

"Well she shouldn't abuse Affair then should she!!"  I snapped in reply 

"That orange friend of yours, you spend too much time with him, its bad enough having a colourless grandchild without having mixed berry ones too, we have enough abominations in this family don't you think!!! I'm going to have a word with Prelude and get him to keep you two apart - you are going to stop seeing Mr Orange and find yourself a purple boyfriend!!!"

"You can go to hell - I haven't been your daughter since the day you dumped me at that school and forgot about me - so don't think you can come here now and tell me what to do because you can't!!" I snapped at him  " ............. and my children will never call you Granddad because you are Faded to me!!!  And just in case you forget that in the future, I'll make sure they are mixed berries just so you won't want to go anywhere near them - the only purple grandchild you are getting out of me is buried in the cemetery so go and mourn him!!!"

He shot up out of his chair and started yelling at me, I stood up and started yelling back.
He is never going to accept me being colourless, he can't hold back the fact that he hates me with a passion, he is so colour prejudice it's untrue - Mango is scum for just being Orange, a kind brilliant surgeon or a pathetic drunk of a father - I know which one of the two I'd call scum - don't you!!!!  He doesn't give two hoots about what I've been through - its just all about him and his narrow minded view of the world.

After totally losing the plot I got Mulberry to guard Affair with his life and stormed out of the house into the dark night alone


"We've got a problem,  Lilly has been fighting with Mom and Dad while you were at work."  Mulberry said when Prelude walked through the door


"Yeah I'm kind of shocked - Mom was really nasty to Affair so Lilly had a go at her and they started arguing and Dad is drunk and being very abusive, he keeps attacking Lilly for no reason, mainly over Mango."

"Mulberry, what did Mom do to Affair?"

"She spoke to him nastily and sent him flying, he fell on his face - Lilly went ballistic at Mom then Dad had a go at her for shouting at Mom.  Dad says I can't come here again after this visit.  Prelude I've never seen them like this before!!!"

"I did tell you didn't I you were about to see the truth about our family!!!  Don't worry I'll be dealing with both of them later, I knew it was a bad idea having them around Lilly and Affair, I should have sent them away when they turned up, Where is Lilly now?"

"She ran off - I couldn't stop her, she gave me Affair to look after then ran out of the house."

"Fudge!!  I need to go and find her she shouldn't be out there alone!!"

Prelude found Lilly asleep in the cemetery.


Prelude was shaking me gently trying to wake me up.

"I should be cross with you for running out alone - what about if Lime had been around - don't forget I'm at a disadvantage here I've never met the woman, I don't have a clue what she looks like"  he sat there looking all serious.

"Well she isn't, besides you're safe she doesn't have a clue who you are!!"  I snapped at him still half asleep

"It's not me I'm worried about - it's you!!!"  he started frowning  "I want to ask you something .......... Mango, how do you feel about him exactly?"  I thought that was a strange question to ask

"How does anyone feel about their best friend ...... why did you ask that question?"

"Oh no reason, it doesn't matter, forget I asked -  come on we should go home." he tried avoid answering my question

"OH NO!!  Don't change the subject, I want to know why you asked?  has he done something?"

"No ....... it's just I know how he feels about you and I'm beginning to think you feel the same way about him."

"ARE YOU MAD!!!!"  I couldn't believe he'd just said that, I've obviously fallen asleep crying on Cosmics grave and he accuses me of being in love with Mango.

"No I'm not - you talk in your sleep and I've just sat here listening to you, and it's not the first time either, you know Cosmic used to hear you talking in your sleep too, it made him paranoid of you and Mango together and I can quite understand why!!  You never stop talking about him in your sleep - I wander why that is?!"  he gave me the strangest look

"You're winding me up!!"  He has to be  "Have you been drinking Dad's booze??"

"NO!!!, I'm not drunk or winding you up, Cosmic saw it, I can see it .............why don't you?"

Prelude said to Just try and ignore our parents, he was trying to, but that is definitely easier said than done for me I'm the one Dad keeps attacking.  They are blinded by the colour code, they just can't accept that colourless and mixed berries are just normal people, unfortunately that will never change - if it gets too bad  he said he would send them home, and if he caught either of them touching a hair on Affair's head again he'd be throwing them down the path and they'll be doing him for murder!!  After Prelude gave them both a piece of his mind the rest of the night was pretty quiet.

Mango came as promised the next day even if he was a little late held up in theatre.  When we got to the cemetery he pointed towards the bench and said he'd sit and wait for me there, thinking I wanted time alone, but I didn't so he sat with me.

"How's Alpine."  I asked him, he is constantly at the back of my head still worrying that he might not make it, I'm also wandering who is Lime's next target.

"He's getting stronger, he's out of danger now, he just needs time for his body to mend itself."  I'm relieved that Limes plan to fade Apline has failed.

"I have something I need to tell you, I was going to tell you about it yesterday, even though I hadn't quite made up my mind, but Maizie turned up remember, looking for an argument, which she got!!"

"Am I going to like it, only you seem a bit agitated."  I asked him because he had been fidgeting alot since he sat down, I half expected that he was about to tell me that he and Maizie are getting married, but I was way off the mark.

"I hope so - Clarke calling me into his office yesterday was not to sack me like I thought, he actually offered me a promotion, a very good one."

"Really!!  But you're leaving what is the point of him doing that."

"He offered it me to keep me here, me being watched in the theatre with Alpine actually turned out to be good for me, Maizie actually did me a favour by grassing me up, but don't tell her she's already holding over me the fact that she saved my life. Apparently they were quite impressed with how composed I was under the circumstances, especially as Alpine really defied the odds by even surviving the hit, let alone the hours of surgery and if only you know the problems he had - the odds were totally stacked against him."

"So .........???"

"So, last night I had a decision to make stay and take the promotion or leave as planned."


"Well, I'd have been a damn fool to have turned down the promotion, that job isn't up for grabs very often, it's like my dream job and I still can't believe he offered it to ME!!"

"So you are stay??  You are not leaving??" I'm not too sure I'm hearing this right!!

"Yes Im staying." he grinned at me  "I'll probably end up regretting the decision in the long run emotionally - but the job, its like Oh .... My .... Berry!!!  I just had to have it besides, my Dad would probably have disowned me for turning it down!!"  he started laughing

I leapt to my feet pulling him with me, I am so happy that he is staying I didn't even try to hide it.  The releif was like a great weight had just been lifted off me, I can't believe he is actually staying, I felt happy for the first time in ages.

I actually found myself smiling as he walked me home, but that smile was soon wiped off my face by my Dad.   As soon as we walked into the house he started.  He totally stunk of booze even worse than yesterday.  He saw me with Mango and he just let rip.

I couldn't hold my tempter any longer

"I always knew you were going to be no good - you ruined our lives - I should have drowned you at birth - your're nothing but an abomination - and look at you causing trouble wherever you go - obviously I didn't give you enough good hidings!!!"  he yelled at me

"Shut up you evil drunk!!"

"I'm not having this - you can't talk to her like that - leave her alone!!"  Suddenly Mango jumped in

"Back off orange, this is none of your business, go and find somebody your own colour to play with or are you colourblind - that thing is colourless!!"  Dad started howling like he thought he had just cracked a funny joke.

"You back off, I don't care who you are, you dont talk to her like that!!!"  Mango got right up in Dad's face, the most evilest look on his face, it actually frightened me, I worried that Mango was about to get himself hurt, I've seen Dad go when he's been drunk, but Mango I've never seen him like this before.

"Don't make me laugh, look at you, I'll crush you!!!"  Dad squared up to him, there faces where inches apart and I was wandering which one of them would go first. 

Mango stepped even closer to him "Go on - push me and see!!"  They just stood glaring at each other  "I notice you only bully her when Prelude is not around - so come on !!  Bully me instead - Come on!!!"  Mango is right up in his face now taunting him, pushing him and Im holding my breath just waiting for the explosion.

Dad suddenly backed off  "Get your guard dog to back off before I have him put down!!"  Dad snapped at me

"Lilly go pack some clothes, you can stay with me till they have gone!!"  Mango said to me

"Take a good look at my face DAD, because it's the last time you will EVER be seeing it!!"  I said and I meant it, I am done, I've had it, I never planned to have anything to do with them from the minute they sent me to that school anyway, I should have walked out of here the minute that I found out they had arrived.
Going with Mango and getting out of here is the best thing that I could do.

Prelude was not happy when he returned to find out what had been going on.

"Lilly, Please don't let them drive you out, I'll send them home right now - I've just about had enough of them myself!!"  Mulberry and Prelude both tried to stop me from leaving.

"No, I'll be find honestly, you need your time with Whisteria, besides all this purple is getting too much for me, I need to get away from it for a while."

"Lilly please ........."

"I'm sorry Prelude, regardless of them, I think it's what I need to do anyway, the colour purple just holds too many bad memories for me - I am beginning to hate the colour with a passion!!"


Song:  Titanium - David Guetta



  1. Ugh her dad is such a bag of douche, her mother is a piece of work, and Violet's just as bad. Poor Lilly

  2. My word her parents seem worse than they previously seemed and why would they even bother to come since they fill that way about her. Poor Affair as his mother and grandparents don't care for him and love his twin.

  3. Wow. This was very intense, and I'm glad to see Lilly fight back. But I agree, why did they come?

  4. I hate her parents that just made a bad situation horrible, I hope their gone asap with them treating Affair like that if that was me and my nephew I probably would have hurt them. Sorry it just really annoys me grrr

  5. Hmm I too am curious why her parents came since they don't give a crap about Lilly, although I guess that they came to see Prelude since they like him. It probably wouldn't have done any good but maybe Lilly should have made it clearer that she did find someone purple, but he's gone now. I know she mentioned the grandchild dead in the cemetery, but I guess her dad was too drunk to hear her words.

  6. Lilly's parents are the worst! Why did they even come? To make her feel worse? So happy that Mango is staying and stood up for Lilly with her dad.