Chapter 30 ~ part 2 - Gen 1 - Lilly

~ Stay ~

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Read Part One if you haven't already

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Four years earlier .................

I'm pacing up and down outside the examination room, impatiently waiting for someone to tell me what the fudge is going on in there!!  I'm getting angrier and angrier as each minute passes.  The examination room that I've been thrown out of for being hysterical, yes me, the normally composed doctor who can't do a damn thing to help his fading wife.  Damn and blast hospital policy - when she needs me the most I can't be there!!!  I feel like I'm letting her down.

I know it's not looking good for Lilly and I'm not sure I can even think about her not making it through this.  On the positive side she is still alive, a fall like that down the stairs could have quite easily broken her neck and she would have already been gone now.  Her back and head are in a really bad state, I can only think of the bad things, me being a doctor at this precise moment is just makes it all the more worse because I know about all the things that could be happening in there, I know what the results of a fall like that could be.

I crumpled into a heap on the floor and started to cry.

I wish I could rewind the clock back to this morning so that I could have done something different.  I was stood just feet away from her when Lime pushed her, if I'd been paying attention to them instead of to my phone, I could have stopped it from happening, but I didn't.  Twice I've let her down today and if she doesn't make it through this I won't be able to live with myself.

I heard a door open but didn't react to it too deep in thought.

"Mango??"  hearing Forrest speak I automatically jumped to my feet.

"I'm sorry I had to throw you out Mango but you really weren't making it easy for us in there!!  Doctors always make the worst patients and concerned family members"

"I know I'm sorry - but that's my life in that room - I feel helpless standing around not being able to do anything!!"

 "I do understand, I need to ask you a few questions - is Lilly pregnant or on any medication?"

"No she isn't pregnant or on any medication - what's happening?"

"They are just getting her ready to take her into theatre - she's got a fractured skull, there is quite a lot of swelling and a bleed on the brain - she also has a few broken vertebrae, we won't know if there is any damage to her spinal cord until we've get her on the table - she's lost a lot of blood so we are having to do a blood transfusion too - I'm sorry Mango, I don't need to tell you what the outcome of all this might be - I wished I had better news for you. "

"Who's operating?" I asked

"Griffin and I'm assisting."

"Please don't let her fade!!!!!!"

"We'll do our best!!!"  he said as he ran back through the doors.  Damn, I hadn't even asked which theatre they are taking her into, then I realized it doesn't really matter I'm not allowed down onto the theatre block, I'd have to wait here anyway.  So I sat and prepared myself for a long wait.

I wanted to scream and punch walls, I've never felt so frustrated, and so totally useless.  I have to leave Lilly's life in someone else's hands, because of hospital policy I'm not allowed to treat her, I want to be in there doing something ... anything ... but I can't, I'm not even allowed to watch, I'm not sure that I can bare hours of feeling like this while I'm waiting for her to come out of surgery ... that's if she does come out of surgery ... Oh Berry!!!

Her making it through this is just going to be the start of it - the swelling and bleed could cause irreversible brain damage, it could even send her into a coma, she might come out of this with disabilities, if her spinal cord is damaged she might end up paralyzed ........ this really doesn't look good ...... it will take a miracle for her to come out of this without any lasting damage ..... she might never be herself again. 

I am sat here while my heart is breaking just staring at the blank wall opposite me - wishing for once I wasn't a doctor and that I was sat here ignorant of everything that could go wrong.  The tears start rolling down my face and I don't care who sees me.

Mulberry came running in  "Where is Lilly?  Is she okay?" 

"They haven't told me anything yet, all I know is that she is stable and they've taken her into theatre"  I lied to him, there is no point upsetting him until its necessary, he will have enough to worry about just with her making it out of theatre.   "What about Lime?"

"The police have taken her away, Prelude and Ice have gone with them to make a statement, they want to see you too as soon as possible." he said as he sat down.

"Well they can wait - thank's by the way for jumping on Lime, at least we can all rest peacefully in our beds tonight, that gives us one less thing to worry about "  Mulberry and Ice hearing the commotion came out of their room and managed to get a hold of Lime and held onto her until the police arrived, if they hadn't have been there she probably would have got away to continue with her reign of terror.

"I'm a little confused - how did she get into the house, and why was Prelude there?"

"Did you hear all the racket last night?"  I asked him and he started sniggering, yeah I bet he thought that was me and Lilly   "That was Prelude and Lime - he lost his keys and he sounded very drunk when he phoned me, I told him to let himself in we were already in bed.   He brought her into the house last night, we didn't see her until this morning."

"Berry hole - I'm going to kill him!!"

"Mulberry - stop - I don't want you fighting - we have enough to do worrying about Lilly, besides he didn't know who she was, she's been calling herself Manderine.   He didn't know she was the Lime we were talking about.  I think she might even have used Prelude to get to Lilly, she's devious enough"

We sat there for hours just talking about any rubbish just to pass the time away, both of us getting very frustrated with how long it was taking for her to come out of surgery.

"I should tell Mom and Dad."  Mulberry said suddenly

"NO!!"  I said quickly  "Lilly wouldn't want them here, especially not your Dad, and I don't want that man anywhere near her again - you saw what he was like with her!!!"

"I know but they have a right to know."

"We'll talk about it later - besides there is nothing to tell them yet is there - did you tell them about Ice?"  I asked curious, I know how much their Dad hates the breaking of the colour code.

"Oh Berry - NO - he'll go absolutely mental - I'm too scared to tell him!!!"

"Well then!!"  I laughed at him  "He has a right to know about that too doesn't he!!??"

"Okay - Okay - you win!!!!"  he went silent for a minute then hit me with something I really was not expecting  "I guess this would be a bad time to tell you that Ice is pregnant wouldn't it!!"

"Fudge Mulberry - you Donut!!"

Forrest appeared in the corridor

"She's out of theatre and I've done all her post op checks.   You can go in and sit with her, I'm just going to pick up her CT Scan results then I'll be back to run through everything with you."

The relief of her making it through the operation washed over me and for a second I felt ok then it all came slamming back - CT Scan -  this is going to tell us just exactly what sort of state her brain is in.  This is far from over yet.

You would think I would be prepared for this but I'm not, I've seen hundreds of patients like this but it's a lot different when it's this close to home.  It was hard enough seeing Alpine and Prelude lying in a hospital bed - but Lilly - this is just killing me - I'm struggling to hold it all in, I feel like I'm about to break down at any minute.

Prelude walked into the room looking a little sheepish.  Mulberry flew straight off his chair.

"It should be you in that hospital bed you Berry Hole - not Lilly!!  I've got half a mind to put you in one!!!"  Mulberry snapped at Prelude.

"Stop it Mulberry I warned you already, I don't want any fighting for Berry's sake!!!  Think about your sister!!!"  I'm nearly close to tears again, I really can do without this stress on top of Lilly lying in that hospital bed, I don't have the energy to keep these two from fighting.

As soon as we all sat down they started bickering like a pair of children.

"Put me in a hospital bed - kid, come back when you're big enough!!  You know I'll flatten you with one punch!!!"  Prelude scoffed at Mulberry


"Shut up Berry Hole - the racket you was making last night I'm surprised you would have the energy to flatten a paper bag, you disgusting pig, you've got a nerve having a go at me for being with Ice, when you drag that green thing home!!"

"Oh I forgot your blue thing told me to tell you she's gone home,  Mango's parents might get a little distressed going home to find blood everywhere."  My parents - I hadn't even given them a thought, they have gone out for the day and don't have a clue about what has been going on.

"Are you two going to pack it in or am I going to have to get security to kick you out of here - then you can go and play he man on the hospital car park, if you are determined to knock each others blocks off!!!"  I yelled at them  "I really don't have the energy to sit here listening to your two's shit!!  Your sisters in that bed fighting for her life - or had you forgotten??!!"

 Forrest came in, I'm not too sure I liked the look on his face.

"The good news, there is no damage to her spinal cord so everything is ok there, the breaks should heal ok we don't see any complications there.  Her head's a little more of a worry.  We stopped the bleed but there is excessive swelling there, we are hoping it will start to go down over the next 24 hours, but I think you know there is a very high risk of some brain damage."

"How long are you keeping her under for?"

"Errm ..... this is the part I am not looking forward to telling you - we don't need to keep her under."  I knew exactly what that meant, usually if we don't need to keep them under, they have gone under themselves.

"OH NO!!!"

"Mango, she's gone into a Coma."

"NO!!!  PLEASE BERRY NO!!!"

"I'm sorry Mango, you know how it works - the excessive swelling has damaged her brain stem - all we can do now is wait."

 My world has just fallen apart - this can't be happening!!!!!!

What am I going to do if she never wakes up from this?


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Song:  ~ Stay ~ Shakespear Sisters

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So - now you know!!!
COMA - I've been wanting to say that word out loud for such a long time!!!  :D