Generation 2 - Prologue - Tapestry

~ Welcome to My Life ~

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It is the one thing that I will never forget ............

My Mom is standing by the cooker surrounded by flames.

That was the very first time that I saw him.

'The Man'!!

The faded guy as I know now.  At the time I didn't know what or who he was .... fireproof that is all that I could see, as he is just standing there in the flames and it is doing nothing to him.  If he's fireproof then I thought I would be too, the mentality of a child, even though I knew my Mother also standing in the flames was in grave danger, but only because Mosaic had made me think she was.

'The Man' looked like he was shouting at my Mother, his mouth was moving but I couldn't hear any of the words coming out of his mouth, I remember I tapped my hearing aid thinking it wasn't working but it was, I could hear the fire crackling loudly.   Mom is just stood their motionless, she seemed to be unaware of what is going on around her.  I knew she had 'switched off' again, Mosaic had said so.  At the time I was not really sure what 'switched off' meant exactly, my Dad had tried to explain it to me, more than once, but I really didn't understand, I was too young, only six, maybe seven years old at the time and was struggling to even understand my own problems.  All that I could ever get to grips with was that she had an abnormal brain, like me, that doesn't work properly.  All I knew was that if she 'switched off' we were to tell an adult straight away to keep her safe, but Mosaic was doing that, he had gone to find Dad, so I stayed where I was, not knowing what to do.

I remember thinking I had to get my Mom to move, that is what Mosaic was telling her to do, so I started to shout at her again to move, but she didn't.  I can see the fire getting closer and closer to her, so I ran towards the fire to save her from it, too young to know, understand or even think about the danger I might be putting myself in.  I am screaming at her to move as I grabbed her hand and tried to pull her, she's stood like a statue and me pulling at her hand does nothing to get her to move.

I am starting to get hot I can feel the intense heat of the flames - like hundreds of pins pricking into my skin, I can remember the sound of the fire loud and crackling, it is making it a struggle for me to hear my own voice as I'm continuously screaming at my Mother to move, but she wouldn't.  I looked up at her face and she was just staring blankly into the flames.

The smoke is clouding my vision and filling my lungs making it hard for me to shout or breath, and I couldn't stop coughing.   I was in front of her and tried to push her but she still wasn't moving - I was a small child, I wasn't strong enough to move a fully grown adult.  That's when I felt the pain tearing at my arm, looking down I can see mine and my Mother's clothes are now engulfed in the flames and I watch them as they eat away at our clothes and start biting at my arm.  I screamed out because of the pain.

Suddenly my feet left the floor ....... 'The Man' ....... he is holding me around the waist.  Suddenly I remember feeling properly scared for the first time, the flames hadn't worried me as much as 'The Man' right now who is lifting me off the ground. I'm looking down at the large hands that are holding me, they are there but I can see straight through them, he reminded me of jelly - wobbly and transparent, I could see my clothes through his hand - I knew something was not quite right or normal about 'The Man'.

'The Man' carried me out of the flames and throws me away from him, gently, but hard enough to send me flying across the kitchen floor away from the fire, I hit something, a chair leg,  which brought me to a halt.  I looked up just in time to see my Mother's body looming over me as it comes flying towards me, seconds later she hit me full force which knocked the wind out of me, the pain of her hitting me felt like I'd just been slammed into a brick wall, the force of the impact so hard my head hit the kitchen floor and I blacked out.

I woke up in the hospital dazed and confused, my parent sat by the bed crying, both of them blaming themselves not each other.   Mom because she had switched off and caused the fire and Dad because he had left her alone with just us boys watching her.  We were both safe and had escaped the fire, unlike the kitchen.  My left arm was completely covered in a bandage and it hurt like hell, I can still feel the pain now if I think about it.  Most of my left arm was burnt, and I had two broken ribs and stitches in my head from hitting the floor and my Mom had burns all over her legs and back. We have both been left with horrible scars that are there as a constant reminder of that day.

After Mosaic had alerted my Dad to what was going on upstairs in the kitchen, he ran into the room and he found us both 'out of it', our clothes were all black and burnt, but we were lying on the floor a safe enough distance away from the fire.  Mom was still 'switched off' and I was unconscious, her body lay slumped on top of mine.

They presumed that I had pulled her away from the fire and that she had knocked me unconscious falling onto me ..... they only got part of it right.  Suddenly I turned from being Daddies 'special little soldier' to his 'little super hero' because they thought that I'd gone into the flames and  pulled Mom out of the fire and saved her life ....... only I knew ......... I had not pulled her out of the fire or saved her life .......

'The Man' had.'   He was the one who pulled us both out of the fire and saved both of our lives.

I tried quite a few times to tell them about 'The Man'.  They all just laughed at me, they didn't believe me, not even my Grandparents,  dismissing that 'The Man' even existed because I had hit my head hard enough to be knocked unconscious.  According to them I was confused - but I knew I wasn't.

 
I knew I wasn't confused - especially as I have seen him many times since that day of the fire.  I quite often see him somewhere in the house and he hangs around in my bedroom a lot just watching me, sometimes for long periods of time.  I still don't have a clue who he might be and I think he knows that I can see him, but he has never tried to talk to me.  He's a ghost, but it doesn't really bother me, I'm used to him being there and sometimes I actually like it, he keeps me company and I don't feel so alone, even if we don't communicate.

I don't talk about him to my family any more because everyone thinks that I'm mad when I do, and nobody else seems to be able to see him - Only I can.

So if I see the faded guy when everyone else can't .... that makes me insane right?!  I think it does!!   Insanity, something else to add to my long list of problems which makes everyone dislike me, including and especially myself.

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Berry only knows why I have been put on this earth!!

I was the smallest of the triplets that was never meant or expected to make it into this world - so why did I?  If Berry was going to grant this 'little mirracle' as my parents call me, why in Berry's name would he do it just to throw so much shit at me ...... because he has, and plenty of it!!!!!

I might look like a normal healthy teenager to the eye, but don't let that fool you, inside my head there is all sorts going on that makes me far from normal.

Firstly I am hard of hearing, I can't hear properly without an earing aid, then there are my eyes, the problems with them I inherited from my Dad, not only are they colourblind, but they don't see past my nose without help, hense the glasses that I wore throughout my childhood but ditched for contact lenses when my parents thought I was responsible enough to use them - but these are the least of my worries.  I have ADHD. Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder and Dyslexia, both neurological disorders because my brain is abnormal, something in there doesn't work properly.   The ADHD on its own makes me very complicated, that combined with everything else makes me a walking disaster.  I know inside I am different to everyone around me, and so do they, and they treat me accordingly.

I have always known I am different even from a very early age, my parents, especially my Dad,  made sure of that.  I get the special treatment that my brother and sister don't get, I know they only mean well and are only doing what they think is best for me, they wrap me in cotton wool and fuss around me all the time, especially my Dad who sometimes gets very suffocating.  They make allowances for all of my problems and excuses for everything that I do.

The way they treat me has damaged the relationship between me and my siblings, it has put up a barrier between me and them, they resent me and the attention that I get which they don't.  Don't get me wrong they are not ignored or neglected far from it, they actually get things and are allowed to do things that I'm not allowed, but they do treat me differently. 

I get away with murder, I have never had a proper telling off or been grounded by my parents or Grandparents, when my brother and sister get them quite regularly and for the slightest thing. Dad and Grandad especially are pretty strict, Mom and Nan are not so bad.  I am far worse than Mosaic and Coral could ever be put together, all of my behavior is always put down to my 'condition' even if I am just being plain naughty, I have got away with everything that I've done ....... and still do.

To a stranger I always appear as a very naughty and uncontrollable child, and I suppose technically I am.  Firstly there is my inattentive side, where I am appearing to be ignorant on purpose, not listening, not paying attention, never doing as I'm told, too busy daydreaming or being distracted to even pay any attention to what is being said to me or anything that I'm supposed to be doing.  Then there is my impulsive side, my dark side as I like to call it, I can be very mean, blurting out inappropriate comments, insults and swear words.  I show my emotions sometimes a little too readily and with out restraint and act without any regard to the consequences for me or those around me.  I'm well known for having temper tantrums, even still as a teenager, if I want something, especially with my parents, I know how to get it, mostly because I'm too impatient to wait for things that I want and they give into me far too easily.

School is my HELL!!  I have to be delivered there every day by my Dad or Grandad otherwise I would never go.  Why I have to even go there in the first place baffles me!!  It's not like I very often take anything in or learn anything because of my inability to concentrate, focus or listen.  And even if I do take it in - it is forgotten quite quickly, especially if it doesn't interest me.   I can't read or write properly because of the dyslexia,  so I just sit there mostly in a world of my own - they may as well just stamp 'academic failure' on my head and send me home - because really it's pointless me even being there.

I aggravate the teachers and I'm sure they hate me, there life would be so much simpler if I wasn't there.  I'm given a task to do in class, I don't do it, I start it but never finish it, half the time distracted by something, I'll just wander off to do something I shouldn't be doing.  I've not once even completed my homework, all they get from me is a blank piece of paper with my name untidily scrawled across the top of it and even that half of the time I can't spell right. I never know where I am suppose to be or when, and disrupting a class room is my specialty, even if I don't mean to do it.

My parents spend so much time in the principals office being hauled in over my behaviour, there is only so much leeway that the school can give me because of my condition, but it's a miracle I haven't been expelled yet.   I swear I'm only still in that school because my Dad is a well respected neurosurgeon and my Mom is a famous artist, who both do a lot of fund raising for the school, or are they paying the school to keep me there - sometimes I wander.

Then of course there are the other children, and children can be very cruel.  I am different, I don't fit in, I'm not normal, I will never be one of them - and they never let me forget it.  I am every bully's dream, "the idiot" - "the freak" - "the retard" - "Dumbo" - "specky eyes" - "deaf head"  the list of names that they call me is endless.  They get me in two ways, they either kick me when I'm down, quite frequently I go home covered in bruises that I have to try to hide.  Or they wind me up like a coiled spring until I pop, they play with my impulsive side and push me until I explode, they find this highly amusing watching me kick off at anyone who gets near me especially the teachers, and this always results in me being dragged off to the principals office kicking and screaming until I calm down.

Making friends, just doesn't happened for me.  While Mosaic and Coral have a long string of friends, their phones are constantly ringing off the hook and have very busy social and romantic lives.  I don't.  The other children reject me, they don't understand me or the things that I do and if I do make friends with anyone the relationship is usually very short lived.  While I can be a nice person my dark side overshadows any good they might see, and I suppose I can't blame them for not wanting to bother with me when they can hang around with somebody normal and have a lot more fun without fear of being suddenly turned on for no reason at all.  If I struggle to keep friends - what are my hopes of ever getting a girlfriend?  I spend a lot of time alone.

There are only two people in the world who continuously 'put up with me' and they have been there for as long as I can remember  - Storm and Honey.

Storm is my cousin, Honey is like a sister to me, she is one of the Shine kids - and why they continue to 'put up with me' even when I'm nasty to them - I will never know.  At school Storm tries to look after me, he fends off the bullies, he is like uncle Prelude, he has a mean streak and is always up for a fight.  I'm just grateful he's on my side and not one of those who continually bully me, unlike his brother Parsley who also has a mean streak, but he uses it against me and is one of the bullys.

 My Mom says that Storm and Honey have a lot of patients and understanding, personally I think they just must be pretty stupid and thick skinned!!  The three of us are virtually the same age and we played together a lot as toddlers and children and they were the only two that I bonded with so my parents say, and they are the only two now that I can get along with and who will put up with me.

 
Music is my life, it is the only thing that I am interested in or enjoy and the only thing that can keep my attention for long periods of time.  Music, singing and dancing - probably the only three things that I can do well.  I can play the piano and the guitar.  I stumbled on my talent for music by accident, I was curious of my Dad's piano that we were never allowed to touch.  I will never forget the look on my Dads face when he walked into the music room and heard me playing note perfect a piece of music I had heard him playing only hours before.  I have never had any music lessons, I can't read sheet music, I don't have a clue what note letter each key on the piano is - somehow I just know how they sound and I feel the music.  He says I am a musical genius - that really makes me laugh, me and genius in the same sentence just doesn't fit.  Mosaic is the genius, not me.

Music maybe one of the reasons why there is a connection between me and Honey, we are both party animals and love nothing better than to turn up the radio full blast and dance.  Our parents laugh at us and say we inherited it from them, My Mom and her Dad Sunny are always dancing together whenever they get the chance like me and Honey do.

I get so frustrated with myself and my life.

Why me?  Why couldn't I just have been normal like everyone else?

Welcome to my life!!


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Welcome to My Life ~ Simple Plan

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