Chapter 7 - part 3 - Gen 2 - Tapestry

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I stir in my sleep because I can feel something tickling and irritating my face.

Still with my eyes tightly closed I swipe at my face trying to knock away whatever is tickling it, so that I can drift back off to sleep.  That's when I hear a quiet giggle.  I open my eyes slowly and I see Honey who is lying in the bed next to me, she's holding her hair in her hand, she smiles at me as she continues to tickle my face with the ends of her hair.  I am relieved to see her smiling at me, she obviously is not mad with me like I thought she might be.

"Morning sleepy head!!"  she says with a big grin on her face  "Well it's not strictly morning, its evening as you've been a sleep all day!!!"  she told me she has been here for hours and is now getting very bored waiting for me to wake up.  "And you snore!!"

"I do not snore!!!!"

"Oh you do quite loudly!!  she laughs as I lie there rubbing my eyes and yawning.  "Do you ever take that damn hat off??"  she smirked at me  "Only I know you only have your boxer shorts on under there"  She starts giggling again as she runs her fingers gently down my bare chest.  I dread to think how she knows what I am and am not wearing.

"You didn't answer your phone, I thought you might be mad with me." 

"Why would I be mad with you??"  her hands are wandering and I try to stop them, she has this strange look on her face that I've never seen before.  She starts pulling on my shorts  "Maybe you should lose these"

"Stop it Honey don't you think we are in enough trouble!!"  she surprises me by giggling as her hand slips inside my shorts  "Stop it, we can't!!"  I grabbed hold of her wrist and pulled her hand out from inside my underwear.  "You do know what we have done don't you ...... we didn't use any precautions  ...... "

"Yeah I know."  she says like it doesn't matter as she comes back at me shuffling closer, wrapping her arm and legs around me then she starts to kiss me.  I'm okay with that until her hand starts wandering again into my shorts, she's making it perfectly obvious what she is planning to do.

I pushed her away  "Honey stop it!!!  What the fudge is wrong with you didn't you hear what I just said to you!!"  I scramble out from under the bed clothes, before I lose control of myself, to get away from her roaming hands that are winding me up.

"What's up with you, have you gone off me already?!" 

"Don't be stupid, I'm worried, you could be pregnant because we didn't use anything and you want to do it again!!!"  she just lies there staring at me  "And I'm supposed to be the idiot that doesn't think - not you!!"

"You don't need to worry - I've just spent hours being grilled and lectured by your Dad,   now I see what you mean about his lectures!!"  she giggles

"He's been round to yours about it already hasn't he!!"  I cringe just imagining him tearing round to Sunny to grass us up - I wish I could have been a fly on the wall to see Sunny's reaction - I bet it wasn't good he's never really liked me very much.

"Yeah, you could say that - my Dad is hopping mad!!"  yeah I bet he is, and after my blood!!!  "Your Dad is actually being okay about it, unlike mine who is kicking off proper!!  So you can thank your brother and sister for having blabber mouths!!!  I've already had a go at Strawberry for opening her big mouth!!" 

 
"So what did my Dad say to you?"  I ask nervously remembering that he really was not in a very good mood when he slammed out of here earlier.

"He's not happy with us!!  Especially with me for not taking precautions, he gave me a right lecture after we sorted out my dates and he's put me in charge of being sensible."  she starts grinning as she waves a box in front of my face.  "He says we have to use these until he knows if I'm pregnant or not.  If I'm not pregnant he's putting me on the pill." At first I don't know what the box might be, I'm staring at it while she is waving it around.   I grab her hand to keep it still and take the box off her, I can't read any of the words on the box so I open it.  My eyes nearly popped out of my head when I pull one out, realizing what they are straight away,  I remember seeing them in sex ed and Mosaic has some in his room.  My Dad ..... my Dad gave her condoms for us to use!?  Never!!!  I look at her in disbelief which makes her laugh.

"He NEVER gave you these for us to use!!!!"

"Honestly he did!!  He said he isn't happy with us doing it and we shouldn't be, but he also said that he knows if they tell us not to we won't listen, especially you, so he would rather we were being safe than taking risks!!."  I'm watching her face as she's speaking and can tell she is not lying to me.  "He's okay your Dad, he's much better than mine, I don't know why you moan about him so much!!"  I just lie there looking at her numb with shock ... my Dad has kind of given us the okay to carry on doing it, which I never would have expected in a million years.

"Are you scared about being pregnant because I am!!" I glance at the expression on her face, she is still smiling, she doesn't seem the slightest bit worried which I don't understand.

"No, actually I hope I am!!"  she says with a serious face

"WHAT!?  Don't be stupid!!  Why would you want to be pregnant??!!"

"There are somethings I need to tell you, that I'm not sure you are going to like."  she says then starts to chew her lip nervously, she is now nervous about something, I dread to think what might be troubling her if she is not bothered about being pregnant .....

"My Dad and Alpine have had their heads together, they have this harebrained scheme about sending me and Cinnamon out of town away to Uni because we look like pure berries, your Uncle Prelude was in on it too - the plan was for Storm to come with us too, but ....... well you know!"  I look at her a little surprised because this is the first I've heard of it.  "The problem with me going to uni is that I will be leaving town and going away for three years ."  I suddenly get a really nasty feeling in my stomach.

"You will come home at weekends and in the holidays right?!"  I ask her

"No - that's the thing - I literally will be away for the whole three years -  the uni they have picked out for us is 3000 miles away, it's a plane ride away and as neither of our parents are loaded and besides the fees they will be paying they plan to rent a house for us to share so they can't afford to keep paying air fare - we might only get to come home once a year for the Christmas holidays if we are lucky!"

I start to feel sick and my head starts going, just the thought of her not being here triggers an emotional overload.  I'm really not sure I can cope with her going away and leaving me, she has always been there, like Storm, he has left me and now she is planning to do the same, I know it's not the same, she isn't fading like Storm has but still she is not going to be here every day for THREE years - I really can not handle that!!!

I roll over on the bed and close my eyes, trying to shut my head off and crawl into my safe space where I don't have to think about it.  I feel her hand on my arm  "Tap?!"

"Leave me alone Honey I can't deal with this right now - you need to get lost NOW!!"  I end up screaming at her, I'm losing it, but it's not like she's never seen it before.  I can feel her behind me and I can hear her picking at her nails which always irritates me.  "Didn't I tell you to get lost, you know where the door is - use it!!"  she stays there and ignores me again she doesn't move so I let her have it verbally.

After I've finished hurling abuse at her and have lay here quietly for about ten minutes shut off in my own little world she speaks to me quietly.  "This is exactly why we didn't tell you - because we knew you would react like this."  she says calmly like I haven't just been downright evil to her, she amazes me, she just takes what I throw at her without retaliating and sits calmly waiting for me to go quiet and always seems to know the right time when it's safe to speak.  She is the only one who can pull me out of my tantrums quickly, not even my Dad has managed to master the art of dealing with me in the right way, he generally can't keep his mouth shut which winds me up and makes them worse and last a lot longer than they should do.

"WE ..... Who is We?!"

"Me and Storm."  

The way she says  'Me and Storm' triggers off a memory of a conversation I'd had with Parsley and Storm - the day that Storm faded - this makes me jump up to face her.

"That's not all you two kept from me ....IS IT!!"  I snap at her quite nastily  "You never told me he liked you, or that he was hassling you ........ you was actually planning to go on a date with him!!!!"  suddenly I felt jealous, the thought of her with Storm, which is what would have happened if he hadn't faded, and I was going to let that happen too - where was my head at??!!   I'm also wandering what other secrets they had together. "So what was the plan for you two to go off and be together at uni and leave me here on my own?!"

"Don't be stupid!!!  I didn't like him that way!!!"  she looks a little irritated  "Anyway why are you getting jealous?? You weren't interested in me were you - remember Fern?!"  she rolls her eyes  "None of that matters now and I don't really want to talk about any of it!!  We have something much more important to talk about!!"

She pushes me down on the bed and hovers above me, I thought she was going to kiss me, but she doesn't.  "We were talking about me going to Uni."  as soon as the word uni leaves her lips, my head starts going again, why did she have to go and remind me, I look away and try to get away from her but she pins me down and has her hand behind my head pulling it towards her  "LOOK AT ME!!"  she shouted quite loudly into my ear which forces me to look at her, she made my hearing aid squeal which always makes my head hurt, and she knows it!!.

"I DO NOT want to go to Uni ......"  I'm kind of surprised and relieved to hear her say that, I actually thought she wants to go to Uni, that she is choosing to leave me.   ".... I plan not too go, my Dad just doesn't know it yet!!  and I need your help to get me out of it!!!"  she smiles at me before she starts kissing me.

When she comes up for air she lies down beside me   "Why wouldn't you want to go to Uni if you have the chance to go?"  I ask her a little puzzled, Mosaic would give anything to go to Uni and resents our parents for making him a mixed berry, which stops him from going.  "Not many people in this town get that luxury."

"Firstly I don't want to leave you, but what is the point of getting a degree - what good will it do me in this town?! It's not like I can go anywhere in the world and get a decent job is it - I have no choice but to come back to this town - I am a mixed berry, my children will probably have red in them as well as yellow - I'm stuck here like the rest of us - my Dad is just being a twat!!"

"So how do you plan to get out of it?"  She started to grin at me mischievously.

"Well if I am pregnant ..... I can't go to uni can I?"  she is still grinning at me, I realize now why she is not actually bothered if she is.

"But you might not be so what are you going to do then?"  I ask too slow to catch onto what might possibly be coming.

She looks at me with that strange look on her face again  "We have to make sure that I am pregnant!!"  I'm a little stunned for a moment.  She's joking, she has to be!!!

"Honey please tell me you are joking!!"  she shakes her head .   I really can't believe she's even thinking this is a good idea  "You want us to make sure you are pregnant just so you can escape going to Uni?!"

"Yes - it's genius - I don't know why I didn't think of it myself, it was something that your Dad said in amongst his lecture that gave me the idea - he was going on at me about how stupid I have been risking the chance of going to University by possibly getting myself pregnant!!"  she smiles at me as her hand starts wandering across my chest.  "So we need to get busy - to change possibly pregnant to definitely pregnant."

I slap her hand to stop it from reaching her intended target.  "You are off your head!!!  I'm not doing it!!"  I am surprised she would even suggest it, I'm not sure she is thinking straight  "I am not capable of looking after a baby, I'm not even allowed to touch my baby sister unless someone is watching me apparantly I can't be trusted, I doubt I'll ever get a decent job either with my problems  ........ and your Dad will probably fade me ..... there has to be another way!!" 

"It is not just university that we have to worry about."  she says then starts biting her lip again,  "It's okay you saying find another way because we probably could if it was just uni that I'm trying to avoid."  she just sits there looking at me for a moment  "There is something else ..... after your Dad finished with me my Dad had his turn ..... my Dad ...... he has basically told me I can not see you anymore, he says I have to break up with you."

"WHAT!!??"  I am shocked  "He doesn't mean it, he's probably really angry right now, I know he doesn't like me much but he wouldn't go that far ....... would he??!!"

"Oh he means it, he said he could just about stomach us being friends, but nothing else, and now because we have crossed that line - he says he is going to split us up, he never wants us to be together - he doesn't like you, you will drag me down with your problems and says I can do better!!"  she puts her arm around me like she thinks it might upset me, but I am actually not surprised that he would say that about me. "If I'm not pregnant then he is not going to let me see you anymore, and he says the minute he finds out I am not pregnant he's going to send me to my Grandparents in Sugar Falls until I go to uni, to make sure we are kept apart."

"He can't do that!!!  He's only doing that because he knows I can't leave this town because of my eyes!!!"  I can feel myself getting a little irritated and starting to panic  "What about if you ARE pregnant - what is he going to do - still send you away and ban me from the baby as well as you!!??"

"No, he says if I am then because the baby will probably be mixed colours, he'll have to leave us alone, not that he wants to, but he says he's not sorting your mess out and he said I'll have made my bed so I can lie in it -  but he says he doesn't think you'll do the right thing anyway, he thinks you'll do a runner and dump me in it!!  Giving him the result he wants anyway - us two apart"

"Run?!  Where too - the other side of town??"   I snap at her  "He REALLY doesn't like me does he!! .... well he can get lost, he's not splitting us up .... in a few years he won't be able to tell us what to do anyway - he can't tell you what to do after you graduate!!"

"I know but what about the in between - remember he said he's going to send me away to my Grandparents and that could be only about 3 weeks away.  The minute he finds out I am not pregnant my bags are packed and I'm gone!!"

"Fudge!!!!"  my head starts swimming again

"You don't want me to go to Uni or be sent away to my Grandparents do you?"

"No of course I don't!!"

"You don't want us to be split up do you?!"

"No!!!"

"Well don't you see ..... me being pregnant is the only way we can be together!! ..... I have been waiting so long for you to wake up and notice me, and now you have, I'm not letting my Dad split us up now!!!! ..... We have to do this Tap." she says as she throws the box across the room  "Sod their being careful .... I need to get pregnant!!"

She came at me then and starts to kiss me, and my head is all over the place, my brain is struggling to process everything that she has said.

My head is fighting with itself, it is telling me don't do it, but it is also screaming at me because I'm scared if I don't do it I'm going to lose her.  Sunny will send her away and that will be it - I couldn't bare her not being here everyday - I've already lost Storm I can't lose her too.  Without her I would be lost - I'd have nobody and nothing!!  I have no choice but to do what she wants.

Her hands have started to wander again, rapidly making me lose the ability to think straight, and I don't stop her.  I think she knows I am going to do this when I start to open the zip running down her back and gently pull her dress off over her head.

If I don't want to lose her .... I have to trust her when she says .... this is the only way!!


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