Chapter 12 - Gen 1 - Lilly

~ The Reason ~

"What the fudge do you want??!!  I snapped at Prelude again, he is just stood there looking at me, the suspense is killing me.

"That's a lovely way to welcome your big brother!!!!" he said half grinning at me.

"Brother!?  Is that what you call yourself!!"  He has the cheek of the Devil!!  "What are you even doing here Prelude?"

"To see you, why else would I be here." I stood looking at him, he's now all grown up, the last time I saw him he was a teenager - I somehow still pictured him as a teenager - I should have realised he would be an adult by now - that alone was a bit of a shock, and he really looks like Dad which didn't help.

"Have you come to gloat over your handy work, after all, it was you who put me here wasn't it!!!"  he didn't say anything which is not very Prelude like  "You got what you wanted - me gone - so why the fudge would you even come here?"

 "Can we go inside and talk please Lilly" he said and smiled again


"No!!!  I have nothing to say to you Prelude, I hoped I would never have to see you again!!" I still am finding it hard to believe he has actually gone out of his way to come here to see me.

"Has somebody faded?"  I asked - I suppose that might be a reason for him coming here.

"No - nobody has faded - I came because I wanted to see you."  he smiled at me again which completely threw me off guard, I'm snapping and sniping at him and not being very nice and he has not even tried to retaliate.

"Well, I don't want to see you, so maybe you should just go."  I went to turn around and walk back into the school.

"Please Lilly, if not for me - hear me out for Mulberry."  See that's where he got me, just the mention of Mulberry's name. "He misses you."

I didn't trust him, he probably knew using Mulberry would get to me, I doubted that Mulberry would even remember me, he was just a toddler when I left, he would be a child now, and I suspect I would just be a vague memory to him.

"We all miss you!!"  he added - Yeah right - like I would ever believe that!!!!

"You can say whatever you have to say here."  I didn't want to invite him inside, it will be harder to get rid of him, but then again I'm standing out here with him alone, no one is around I would probably be safer inside.  I wandered why Cosmic was not down here yet.

"Come on Lilly - I've come a long way - the least you can do is sit and talk to me for a while, please!!  When I've had my say if you still want me to go I'll go."

I walked back into the school and he followed me.  I think it was the shock hitting me and I burst into tears.  Just seeing him again brought back a load of painful memories and emotions that I haven't felt for a long time.

 "Lilly?? - What the Fudge!!! What did you do to her??!!"  Cosmic walked into the locker room, saw me crying and started yelling at Prelude.

"Get lost kid, this is none of your business!!"  Prelude snapped at Cosmic, hearing his evil tone again made me cry all the more.

"If you've hurt her, I'm going to fade you ............. Lilly what did he do?"  I would have laughed at Cosmic trying to play the superhero if I hadn't been so upset.

Prelude started laughing  "Come back when you're old enough kid!!"

"Leave him Prelude, he's my boyfriend - Cosmic he's my brother and he didn't actually do anything yet."  They just stood there staring at each other in silence then for what seemed like ages.

"You .......  have a boyfriend??!!"  I think Prelude was a little shocked by that, I could hear it in his voice.

"Yeah, even us colourless freaks are allowed, we are actually the lucky ones  you know - I have a choice - purple or colourless, and don't worry I won't be giving you any freak neice and nephews, my babies will be purple just like yours!!!"  I heard Cosmic sniggering behind me,  I had told him all about Prelude and what he used to say and do to me.

I noticed Preludes face switch to his evil expression for a minute, the one I used to see before he unleashed his anger on me, but then it switched back off again, for a minute I thought I might have pushed him too far, it never takes a lot with Prelude - I really need to stop pushing him, it will only be me who ends up regretting it.

When he stepped up to Cosmic I thought he was about to punch him or something, he really surprised me when he held out his hand, which Cosmic took and shook.  "I'm sorry, maybe we should start again, its nice to meet you Cosmic, I'm Prelude, its nice to know someone is looking out for my sister."  Is he on drugs??!!!  Aliens must have kidnapped the real Prelude - this is just a clone!!!!

Cosmic just smiled at him, but said nothing   After everything I've told him about Prelude, even though he has never met him before, I think he must know this is out of character behaviour for Prelude.  I hope Cosmic does not think I have been lying about him.

"What do you want Prelude, we were just on our way out."  I was actually quite annoyed remembering the movie that we were now missing because he had turned up.

"I wanted to straighten thing out between us and talk about you coming home after graduation, Mom and Dad are getting very upset with your refusal to communicate with any of us."

"Forget it - I've told you I hoped I would never see you again - as for Mom and Dad getting upset, its their own problem - they sent me away, they never wanted me in the first place and I'm NEVER going back to that place you call home, my home is here and this is where I'm stopping."

"Come on Lilly please, what about Mulberry - he misses you don't you care about him at least - I know the rest of us don't deserve it but, Mulberry never did anything to you did he!!??"

"Don't keep using Mulberry - I will contact him when he's older - the rest of you can go and rot."  I snapped at him quite nastily.

"Lilly please, we all want you to come back home!!"

"What do you want from me Prelude -I don't get it - none of you wanted me when I was there - the colourless freak - you personally used me as a punch bag nearly everyday of my life - you got what you wanted me gone - so what is this rubbish now?"

He did not get the chance to answer my question, Mrs Flowers appeared.  "Lilly who is this?"

"My brother Miss"

"You know you are supposed to sanction visitors."  she said looking at the both of us over the top of her glasses.

"Sorry Miss, I ..............."

Prelude interrupted me and said  "I'm sorry - this is all my fault, I just turned up unannounced, Lilly didn't know I was even in town."  he smiled at Mrs Flowers

"Ok, well you are here now, I suppose it won't hurt just this once."  she said to Prelude then turned to me "Lilly take him up to the common room, you know you are not supposed to be hanging around down here at night, you too Cosmic."

This really gave me no choice but to hear him out.  I skipped off to the toilet while Cosmic took Prelude to the common room - I needed a few minutes alone to get myself together.  I am shaking inside, I seriously had planned to never see Prelude again and just him being here brought back all the old emotions I never wanted to feel again, as well as new ones too which surprised me, in a way I suppose I missed them too even though they didn't deserve it.  Prelude seems to have changed, he seems a lot calmer than I've ever known him to be.  Even so, a few times I've seen that look in his eye, I know its still in him I can see it - he is trying so hard to keep his temper under control - I just don't know if I can trust him to keep it in check.

When I got to the common room Cosmic and Prelude were happily talking away.

I heard Prelude ask "I'm not being funny Cosmic but aren't you and Lilly breaking the colour code??"

"No - colourless berries are allowed to be with someone the colour that they should be, the colour of their parents - so it is perfectly legal for me and Lilly to be together being purple - they made an amendment to the colour code about 40 years ago - colourless berries are a lot more common that people realize."  Prelude smiled at Cosmic.  "It's kind of funny Lilly thinking she was the only one until she came here!!"

As I walked across the room towards the chair I was going to sit on I noticed Prelude was looking at me in a strange way.  "You look just like Mom!!" he said

"I always have done, you were just always too busy being mean to notice!!" I snapped at him

"Me and Mulberry look just like Dad, funny I've never noticed that before - I wander if ......... ?"  he had a really strange look on his face that I could not read.

"Wander what?"  I asked him he just mumbled in reply "Oh nothing, it doesn't matter!!"

Cosmic went to get up  "I'll leave you too it Lil, maybe you two need some privacy, I'll be in your room if you need me." my heart started racing the last thing I wanted was to be left alone with Prelude.

"No you can stay there, there is nothing he can say to me that he can't say in front of you!!"  I didn't want Cosmic to go and leave me alone with Prelude, he might be coming across as all sweetness and light, but I really don't trust him.

"Yes its fine Cosmic stay, no doubt Lilly has already told you all about the jerk I used to be, I don't blame her for feeling uncomfortable at the thought of being alone with me."  he's definitely been abducted by aliens, this isn't my evil brother, its an imposter!!!!

"You still haven't told me what you want from me!!"

"Firstly we want you to come home after you graduate."  Why I don't get it  "And secondly, I want to put thing right between us - if that's possible."

"Please tell me you are going to apologize for making my life hell!!!"  I started to laugh, thinking no that is never going to happen.

"Well yes, try to explain myself even though it doesn't excuse what I did to you, and apologize."  I stopped laughing he looked deadly serious.

"I was a child Lilly!!  Mom and Dad, they never explained to me why you were colourless - what was I suppose to think - you were the strangest thing I'd ever seen and it didn't help that everything changed after you arrived, I saw how people reacted to you, even our own Grandparents wanted nothing more to do with us.    I know now that wasn't your fault, it was their fault, Mom and Dad, they didn't cope with it properly, there was so much more they could have done, stood up for you for one thing - they knew it was a medical condition, that it was their faulty genes that created you, but they never explained that to anyone, especially not me.   I hated the way everything changed - everything fell apart, I was picked on and bullied myself by the other kids because of you and Mom and Dads constant fighting you know how they got, the screaming and shouting, smashing the house up - it was hell!!!   I was angry and hurting and I took it out on you and I know now I should never have done that.  If I could take it all back I would every bit of it, you'll never know how much I beat myself up everyday over the way I treated you and I know if I said sorry a million times it would never be enough - I just hope you will forgive me one day!!!!!"

"Are you on drugs??"  I couldn't help it - the look on his face was pretty shocking, he actually looked genuinely hurt 

"No!!!!!  I can imagine this is a shock to you, I've only ever been nasty to you, but believe me I am truely sorry for everything I put you through - I want you to see that I really have changed - I am not that horrible person anymore!!!"

"So why the sudden change - you cant just switch from nasty to nice just like that!!"

"I've grown up, and lets just say I've had a very big wake up call, I know how wrong I was, it was my fault they sent you away and I'll never forgive myself for that, Mulberry will never forgive me for that either!!!

"How is he?  Does he really remember me?"

"Of course he remembers you, he drove us mental when you first left asking "When's Lil coming back?"  I've told him I'm having that engraved on his gravestone.  He has your room now and it looks like you are still in it - all your things are still in their places.  He wanted to come with me today, I thought it best I saw you alone first - but I can bring him next time - unless of course you are coming home then you can see him for yourself - you know Lilly if you don't come home it will seriously kill him - he's already counting down the days to when you graduate."

"Don't ..........."  I put my head down, fighting the tears welling up in my eyes, I couldn't speak for the lump in my throat, I was trying so hard not to cry, if I started I knew I wouldn't stop, the only thing I've ever wanted since I left that place is to see Mulberry again.

"He will be a teenager soon - and I think he is going to be a lot better looking than I am - I hate him."  he said while he's laughing  "I should have brought you a picture, but I didn't think."

"So, how is Violet?" I asked him "I take it you two are still together."

"No she left me, we got married but she's now divorcing me and I suppose I don't blame her!!  I kind of took my frustration out on her after you left.  Did you actually read any of the emails I sent you?"  Cosmic instantly started sniggering.

"She doesn't do emails do you Lilly."  We were both laughing and Prelude started to look confused, but I was not about to explain it to him.

"No - I didn't - I don't do emails - I deleted them without reading them."

"Well you won't know then, you are an Aunty, we have two children."  That shocked me  "We had twins, a boy and a girl, she took our daughter when she left and I have our son."  He had the strangest look on his face, one I'd never seen before, his eyes looked glazed like his mind had wandered off somewhere else.

"How do they treat you in this town, does your lack of colour bother them much??"  I thought this was a strange question to be coming from Prelude.  "You know how badly they reacted to you in our town, do they treat you any better here?"

"They are not too bad here, it was very hard at first and there are still some nasty people here, but I have friends and a boyfriend, something I doubt I would have ever had if I had stayed with Mom and Dad."

"Is that why you want to stay here rather than come home?"  I saw Cosmic give me a quick glance, I hope he isn't about to pull me up on the lie that I'm about to tell Prelude.

"Partly and because Cosmic comes from this town."   I wasn't going to tell him the truth, that me and Cosmic had already had this discussion and when we graduate, we are going to put down our roots in the town that Mango comes from - one because I don't want to lose my best friend and two because everyone in that town might as well be colour blind - colour and the lack of it really doesn't matter to them and I can be just a normal person like everyone else there.

The school bell rang three quick rings.

Cosmic stood up straight away "Lights out in 15 minutes, Lil we should get going before Mr Ocean gets on the war path."

I stood up, glad that I had an excuse to get away from him, my head is swimming with confusion, I'm not sure I can trust or believe this suddenly 'nice' Prelude.   Two apologizes in one day was a little too much for my head to handle, first Ruby now Prelude, plus Cosmic telling me about his past and Limes blackmail, I feel like my head is ready to explode.  I feel like an emotional wreck I just wanted to go back to my room and have a good cry.

Cosmic said to Prelude "Maybe I should show you the way out, you are likely to get lost in this place, especially if they turn the lights out on you."

"No you're fine, thank you Cosmic, I don't want to get you into any trouble, I'll find my way out."

"Is it ok for me to come again tomorrow before I leave town?."  Prelude suddenly asked 

"I don't think there is any point, do you, I can't forgive you just like that for what you did to me - I need time, I might never be able to forgive you I don't know, but I need time to think about everything you have said - I would rather you didn't come again, especially not so soon."

  I turned around and started to walk away.  "Lilly please ......... !!"

"My son he's ............. colourless like you."

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Song:  The Reason - Hoobastank