Tuesday, 21 May 2013

Chapter 34 - Gen 1 - Lilly

~Bring Me To Life~


The strangest feeling came over me when I tried to open my eyes - I couldn't,  I tried to move and I couldn't do that either - where am I??  My white surroundings are now totally black.
I can no longer see anything and I'm scared, I can feel myself starting to panic.

The strange sensation didn't last for long, it stopped quite abruptly but everything is so black and all I can do is hear noises.  A strange beeping noise that is irritating me because I cant work out what it is.  Running water, I thought I could hear water running but then it stopped suddenly.

Someone or something grabbed my wrist, I tried to pull it away but I couldn't, why is it so dark and what the fudge is going on here?  Why can't I move?  Suddenly something cold is pushed into my mouth, I wanted to bite it but I couldn't even do that - what is wrong with me and where am I?  The cold thing is suddenly removed from my mouth and whatever was holding my wrist tightly has let go of it and is now holding my hand.

"Lilly can you hear me??  If you can try and squeeze my hand."
Who is that?  I recognize the voice, my head is hurting trying to think

I felt something strange and warm down my one side, then something is lay on my shoulder, a head I think because I can hear breathing really close and there is a hand on my chest and another one holding my other hand, it's like someone is lying next to me, who would do that?  I try to pull my hand away from whoever is holding it but I still can't move - this is so frustrating!!
"Lilly can you squeeze my hand?"  the voice said again
Suddenly I realized - Mango - it's Mango!!!
"Please Lilly I need to know you are still in there" 
I try to call out to him but nothing happens, I cant move or speak this is stupid!!
I'm trying to open my eyes, I'm trying to move, I'm trying to call out - but nothing is happening - am I paralized???  In my head I'm screaming at Mango to help me and I can feel him just lying there, he can't hear me no matter how hard I try the words are just not coming out of my mouth.

Suddenly he moved away from me - I'm screaming at him not to leave me.
"Lilly can you hear me?"  I can feel his hand on my shoulder, he is still here but I want him to come back and lie next to me again.

"Lilly, we need you to wake up, please can you try!!"
Wake up??  What does he mean - wake up??

Suddenly I felt my eyelid being pulled back and a light flashes into my eye which startles me.
"Fudge!!"  Mango said then I heard him moving away I'm screaming at him to come back but still nothing is coming out of my mouth. 

 I am listening now and it sounds like he is crying, but he isn't close to me anymore.
I heard a few quiet beeps then Mango spoke  "Dad can you come downstairs please" there is a slight pause  "Yes I know what time it is, I'm sorry, but I need you to double check Lilly for me,  I think she is on her way back."   then I hear a snapping sound, like he's just closed up his phone and he's sobbing again - what is wrong with him??  What is wrong with me??

I am very confused I really can't work out what is going on and I'm tired, I feel so tired,  I can feel myself drifting off into the darkness and I can't stop myself from going. 

A few sounds crept into the silence - a constant tapping like someone is typing on a computer keyboard, that constant beeping again that doesn't stop and  gabbering, like small children talking?!  Am I going mad?!.  The sounds grew quieter as I drifted back into the silence of the darkness.

I heard crying suddenly filling the silent darkness - I wasn't alone in this place!!!
I am confused - who is it and where am I and why is it so black?
"Daddieeee" it sounded like a child  "SSShhhhh, sleep baby"
Mango?  That sounded like Mango
It all went quiet except for the beeping and creaking.
I am sucked back into the darkness again.

"Damn it!!"  I heard a woman say loudly -  this jolted me to become aware of my surroundings again.  Listening all I can hear is the computer keyboard tapping and that damn beeping - what is that?!   I wander where Mango is??  Who is that woman??  the sounds start to get quieter and I can feel myself drifting away again back into the darkness.

A loud cough startled me and brought me back out of the darkness.
"Mulberry you should get Mango to look at that cough, I'm not sure you should be in here, you know we can't afford her catching any infections."  I didn't know the woman's voice.
"Okay, I know, Im sorry"  I heard my brothers voice.
A wave of relief washed over me, I tried to call out to him but I couldn't, I started to feel panic,  I can hear my own heart beat inside my own head getting louder and faster -  what is going on!? None of this makes any sense - why can't I get out of here, and why can nobody hear me?

I heard the beeping noice alter it started to get faster.
"Mulberry can you go and fetch Mango tell him to come quickly."  The woman spoke.
"Is something wrong with Lilly?" 
"Yes now hurry!!"
 What's wrong with me other than I can't get out of this place??
 I felt someone lifting my hand , two fingers pressed into the inside of my wrist.  A sudden flash of light in my left eye alarmed me - I wish they would stop doing that!!
I heard the door bang open  "What's happening?" I heard Mango's voice
"She's a little tachycardic - she's openened her eyes and her reaction to light is a lot quicker."
"Lilly, can you hear me?"  another light flashed into my eye - damn it!!!
I felt a sharp pain in my arm, I think I've just been jabbed with a needle.  I could feel two sets of hands touching different parts of my body, I wished they would just leave me alone.
"Mango what's happening"  Mulberry spoke and I could hear a child crying
"Get him out of here now Mulberry!!!"  Mango shouted
"But Lilly?" Mulberry asked
"She's fine - she's just panicing, please just take him to his room."  I could feel Mango rubbing my arm, then he took hold of my hand "Lilly can you squeeze my hand"
again I tried but couldn't, my head felt fuzzy and I noticed the beeping had slowed back down as I slowly drifted back off into the darkness

I'm not sure how much time has passed when I heard noises again, a child singing is the first thing that crept into the darkness, I lay listening to it trying to work out what child it might be, am I dreaming this or is it real?

"Her temperature is fine, so are all her other vitals"  that same woman spoke - who is she?  why is she always here?
 "Shes just opened and closed her eyes again" Mango said
"She was doing it a lot during the night - She's getting closer isn't she"
"Yes I think she is - Finally!!"
The nearness of their voices told me they are right next to the bed.
"You can go and get some sleep Ocean, I'll sit with her for the rest of your shift, on your way up can you ask Mulberry to feed the boys, tell him I've fed Coral and shes down here with me she woke up early ."  Coral?  Who is Coral?
"OK, I'll be back at six."  the woman said.

 I heard the door open then Mango went silent for what seemed like ages, but I can hear him moving around the room doing different things.   I start to concentrating on the child who is still singing, Coral is that the childs name??  Who is she??

It startled me when I felt Mango suddenly touch my face, I hadn't heard him coming, I could now feel my heart beating heavily in my chest from the fright.
"Lilly!!??  Did you just move, or am I seeing things again?!  Lilly can you hear me?   Can you squeeze my hand please just to let me know you're in there, I'm not sure how much longer I can take this - I need you to come back to me."  I could feel him playing with my hand and fingers, I wanted to squeeze his hand but I couldn't  After a while he placed my hand back down on the bed but didn't let go of it.  Then I heard him crying, it sounded like his head was right by mine, he is sobbing and I'm lying here helpless.  I squeezed his hand ...somehow.
"Lilly!!"  I felt him move "Oh Berry Lilly!!  You can hear me can't you!!!"
 I wished I could answer him, I tried to fight the darkness but it pulled me back in

A phone started ringing.  I lay there listening - there is nothing else I can do.
"Hello"  Mango said answering his phone
"She is fine, no change."  there is a pause. "Its been four days since she squeezed my hand - I'm beginning to think I imagined it." another pause in which he started to laugh  "She's got her eyes open right now but she's just staring into space like she does"  Yes, bring them round Tapestry has been a right little grumpy monster today, maybe Storm can cheer him up, but be warned he is beating everyone up today!!  Mulberry can watch them while you do your hour with Lilly, "  another pause  "Okay I'll see you later"  I heard the bleep as he switched his phone off then silence fell on the room again, I lay there wandering who he had just been talking to and what is he doing now.  Tapestry - Storm - who is Tapestry?  who is Storm?
I drifted back into the darkness

Suddenly I come out of the darkness because I can hear another voice I recognize.  Prelude, he is constantly talking out loud, it takes me a while to realize he is reading out loud - If I could have laughed I would have done - Prelude is reading a book - no never - this has to be a dream!!  His voice got quieter and quieter as I drifted off back into the darkness.

I drift between the darkness and being aware of my surroundings on and off.  Time is still irrelevant, I still didn't know whether it is day or night, I felt like I had just swapped that white place for this dark place, I felt very scared in this dark place, when I am not aware of my surroundings I am having only what I can think are crazy dreams.  A lot of the time I can't tell what is real and what isn't, what is reality and what is a dream.  Sometimes the dreams are bearable sometimes they turn into nightmares, I feel the terror of being trapped in a place I really don't understand and can't get out of it no matter how hard I try because I now realize that on the other side of the darkness is home.

Every time I am aware of my surrounding there seems to be a different person here.  I hear voices that I recognize, voices that I don't.  Mango is here some of the time, I don't like it when I lie here and can't hear his voice. I hear different bits of conversation that don't really make any sense to me, but then on another time I'll take in what is being said.  Lately I've been aware of not always being in bed, I'm sometimes sitting in a chair, my hair is being brushed, something is being rubbed into my skin, my feet are being washed, I can feel everything they do to me, sometimes they hurt me sometimes they don't.

Then there is always the music, Piano music most of the time which I know is Mango's, sometimes I think I can hear a child playing on a xylophone, sometimes its a radio, I'm sure I've even heard Sunny telling me its time to get up and dance.

A high pitched scream jolts me suddenly out of the darkness
"Mango I'm really sorry Tapestry is causing absolute chaos upstairs."  I can hear Prelude trying to talk over the screaming child.  "No one can do anything with him not even Wisty - he wants you and he's having none of it"
"Okay give him here." Mango said "Now what is wrong with you little man?"
The child suddenly stopped crying
"You little monster!!!"  I heard Mango say and the child started giggling
"He's not stupid is he?  He has got you wrapped right round his little finger."
"Tell me about it!!  He's playing on the fact he's my special little soldier and he knows it"  the child giggled again  "He'll have to stay with me until the nurse turns up she's due at three."  Mango spoke again  "Are the other two okay?"
"Yes they are fine, but Tapestry has bit Juniper, he's took a chunk out of her arm, so she's up there screaming the place down" Prelude started laughing  "How is Lilly anymore movement?"
"Not much, shes opening her eyes a lot and her arms and legs have been moving about a little."  there was a pause  "Sit in with me, I was just reading to her but I think she's had enough for today she closed her eyes half way I think that was her way of telling me she had heard enough."

I can tell they are stood over the other side of the room, their conversation is a lot quieter and I have to concentrate on listening to what they are saying - a lot of it is really confusing me - Mango said he was just reading to me, see I didn't even know anything until I heard the screaming child - my arms and legs have been moving - how? when? because whenever I try they don't.  Juniper?  Who is that now?  Do I know these people or have I just forgotten them?

"Do you think she hears you?"  Prelude asked  "I always feel stupid sitting here talking to her."
"I think she does now - we will never know until she completely wakes up - there have been cases with coma patients where they hear and feel everything but are in a paralytic state and other cases where they are just in the dark and don't feel hear or know anything until they wake.  There is no knowing what is going on in that head of hers.  I've read every coma case I can lay my hands and some coma patients have horrific experiences while they are slipping in and out of awareness - I just hope she isn't   The last four years have felt so long and I'd hate to think she has been in there suffering all this time!!!"

FOUR YEARS!!!!!  Oh My Berry - have I really been away that long???

 "Mommy sleepin"  the child said and he sounded really close

"Tapestry come away from Mommies bed!!"  why is Mango yelling like that

"NO!!  SEE MOMMY SLEEPIN!!"  the child yelled back

Then I heard Mango close  "Come here you little monkey,  what has Daddy told you about going close to Mommy's bed!!"


"Quit the attitude little man or you'll be in your room where you can't see Mommy at all!!!"  Mango sounded quite angry talking to the child - why? 

Mommy??  Is he talking about me?

"Do you think she knows about the triplets?"

"She knew she was pregnant when she fell - who know's - either way she is in for a shock - she won't be expecting three of them when she wakes up will she, but she might have been listening all this time, she might know, she might not!!"

TRIPLETS? - THREE? - Three children?

"Mommy wake up"  the child said, Mango and Prelude both started laughing

I could feel myself panicking again - I'm listening to the conversation and getting shock after shock, a few things that I have heard said since I've become aware that I didn't understand now are beginning to make sense - "feed the kids, call the babysitter, are the other two ok " I have children, three of them, Tapestry is my child and I've been away for four years - this can't be happening.  I NEED to get out of this dark place!!!

I heard the beeping getting faster again just before one of the machines started ringing
A pain tore through my arm

"FUDGE!!"  I heard Mango shout  "LILLY"
"What's happening?"  Prelude asked and the child started screaming.
"I don't know yet ........  Lilly ...... Lilly can you hear me."
My eyes are open and I can just see a blur of movement
"She's pulled out her IV, you are going to have to help me, hold her arm still for me"
I realized I was thrashing my arms around
"I'm going to have to put it in her other arm, she's made a right mess of that one"
"OK Lilly, everything is fine, calm down, I'm not trying to hurt you!!"
I felt him pull my hand up onto my shoulder, then I felt a sharp pain like he's jabbed me with a needle again "Prelude can you hold her arm there"
"Why is she doing this?"
"It might have been irritating her, she could be getting panicky and anxious which is a good sign shes getting closer, more aware of her surroundings, don't be alarmed if the next time you come in here and Ive got her arms strapped down."
"Would you really have to do that?"
"Yes if she keeps trying to rip out her IV line I will ..........see she's calming down now"

My head started feeling fuzzy and their voice faded away as I fell back into the darkness again


Song ~ Bring Me To Life ~ Evanescence



  1. Oh so close!!

    I love that song by the way :-)

    1. Something Ive been meaning to ask everyone really - does anyone take any notice of the songs?? Do you connect the songs to the chapter or dont you bother?

    2. Sometimes I do but to be honest most of the time I don't pay attention to the song. I just enjoy the story!

      But this time because it is a song that I really love I did take notice :)

    3. :) while Im writing the chapter I listen to the song over and over - I hope the songs help you look even deeper into the chapter - because a lot of them are written around the song. :)

  2. wow.... last days I read it all....

    want next chapther...

    hmm notes the songs now and then..... they a nice text at the picture

    1. Thank you - I hope you are enjoying it!!
      the next chapter will be along soon :)

  3. This is so cool and different from most fictional comas. Sounds like you did research. Awesome.

    1. Thank you :) yes I did a little - lol.

  4. She's in for several shocks being aware and not.

  5. Oh nearly there come on Lilly wake up!!!

  6. I love that you add the song into it. This one in particular connected really, really well. It takes a lot of attention to detail to make a song fit a chapter. Nice job. =) I also love that song. Haha.

  7. I just wanted to say that I love the songs; you do a great job with them. I don't always pay attention to them, unless I know the song; I loved when you used the Shakespeare Sisters a few chapters back because I don't know many people familiar with that song and it was perfect for the chapter.

  8. I know I'm pretty late but I just started reading you story over the week and love it. I do pay attention to your songs in ever chapter