Side - Prelude 2

~ Trying not to love you ~


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My phone starts ringing again and I just sit staring at it, I knew exactly who it is going to be - Manderine -  and I am right watching the now familiar number flashing up on my phone.

I picked up my drink and took a mouthful and once again ignored my phone.  She phones me every day without fail, and I'm not even sure anymore why I sit here trying to ignore it - she knows I'll give in and answer my phone to her sometime today, probably when I'm wasted.

She is driving me crazy - so crazy she's driven me to drink.  When I'm drunk I don't feel so guilty for what I'm doing, talking to her and wanting to talk to her, I want to hear, no need to hear her voice every day - her being in that prison is just killing me - but so is my conscience for speaking to her every day even after everything she had done - and if Mango and Mulberry ever found out they would fade me!!!.

"Hey Mr if you aren't going to answer your damn phone you should turn it off, you are starting to get on my nerves and it's giving me a headache!!"  the drunk old man sat over in the corner started bumping his gums again.

"Shut up grandad, if you don't like it - you answer it!!"  I snapped at him before I ordered another drink.  My phone stopped ringing - four missed calls flashed up on the screen.  It is killing me to sit here ignoring her calls when really all I want to do is hear her voice.  I am trying to do the right thing but it seriously is not working.

I could hear the old man still mumbling, and I know he is heading towards me and in the direction of the bar because I can hear the familiar shuffling of his feet on the wooden floor.  He makes me laugh he can hardly walk yet he still comes in here like I do every day just to get rat arsed - I wandered for a minute what is his reason for coming in here everyday just to get drunk?. 

"You've got women troubles I can tell!!"  the old man said and started laughing as he took a seat at the other end of the bar and ordered himself a drink.  I turned in my seat to face him, he is really starting to get on my nerves now, if he wasn't so old I would have decked him by now.

"Don't you have a home to go to old man?  You've been sat in that corner for weeks bumping your gums and you are really starting to grate on my nerves now with your constant moaning!!"  he just sat there laughing at me - I so wanted to go over there and drag him outside.  I just don't want to get off my stool, not quite sure how drunk I am at this point.

The old man got his drink then shuffled along the bar to take a seat next to me, I am a little surprised as he doesn't normally speak to anyone, he normally just sits in the corner mumbling to himself, but I have the feeling he has come over here to talk to me.

"You know son the worst thing you can do is ignore a woman - they don't like it!!  You are just making things worse for yourself."  he said to me.

"I'm not your son and I don't need your advice thanks!!"  I snapped at him before I ordered myself another drink.

He kept on regardless of my attitude nattering away about this and that, after a while I gave up and started to talk to him.  It actually made a pleasant change - distracting me from the thoughts constantly running through my head that I'm tormenting myself with all the time.   I would normally just be sitting here stewing things over in my head and knocking back the alcohol until my thoughts are blurred out into an incomprehensible mess and I'm so numb I don't feel the pain any more.  We chatted for ages before the conversation touched on the subject I most wanted to avoid.

"So what's a pure purple berry doing staying in this town??"  the old man asked suddenly.  I looked at him and wandered what colour his hair had been before the colour faded with old age.  He could quite easily be a pure berry himself he has blue skin and blue eyes.

"Not that it's any of your business - but I have a colourless sister and son, they aren't treated like freaks here in this town, they just blend in with all the mixed berries, that's why we stay here in this pokey town, we have no choice."

"Colourless sister you say - not the doctor's wife who is in a coma?"  I doubt there is anyone in this town that doesn't know what happened to Lilly - it was all people talked about for weeks and still do, mainly because everything that Manderine has done in the past came out and even for me it all is a little too shocking.  I wander how her husband has never woken up with a knife in his back.  As Lilly is the only colourless female in this town I suppose he is bound to guess who my sister is.

"Yes as it happens."  I said as I finished my drink and waved at the bar tender to pour me another.

"I'm sorry - Nasty business that - Nasty business!!!  They should bring back hanging - that woman they have locked up for it and all the other stuff she did - they should definitely bring back hanging for her!!"

What he said about Manderine rattled me, I could feel myself going - just the thought of it - I am really glad that they don't execute criminals anymore!!  Just the thought of never being able to hear her voice again .......

I'm really glad my phone starts ringing again putting a stop to our conversation before I lost my temper with the old man.  I snatched it up off the bar and slid off my bar stool stumbling as I tried to move away from the old man so he couldn't listen.   I answered the phone without checking the number on the screen, I just presumed it would be Manderine as all the other calls have been.

"Manderine honey I'm busy, can you call me back later."  I said quietly down the phone.

"Prelude??!!"   Oh fudge!!!  There is an awful silence now coming from my phone, then he erupted   "Have you been speaking to Lime??!!"

I swear I've just turned colourless I felt my colour start draining away when the voice that spoke back to me was not Manderine's and probably the last person I would have wanted on the other end of my phone.  That and the fact that I'm drunk, my legs started to wobble underneath me.

"Fudge!!  I'm Sorry Mango!!"  I pulled the phone away from my ear before he burst my ear drum, I've never heard him yell so much, I just stood there listening to his ranting and raving, his words are hitting my ear with volume but are not connecting with my brain, I couldn't take in what he is actually shouting at me I'm too drunk and his words are coming too fast and just washing over me.  But I can hazard a pretty good guess that none of it is pleasant.

"Calm down - it's not what you think, she's just trying to wind me up - I've got it under control."  I lied to him and there is just silence on the other end of the phone again, I am listening and it sounds like he is sniveling, surely me talking to Manderine wouldn't make him cry!?  "Mango are you ok?" 

"NO!!  DO I SOUND ALRIGHT!!!"  he shouted

"Sooorrry you need to chill out!!"

"I'm going to throttle you Prelude!!!  I need you to come home  NOW!!!!   I just found out Lilly is pregnant."   he is now bawling down the phone at me and I think maybe I've definitely had one two many, I could have sworn he just said Lilly is pregnant.

"WHAT!!??"

"Just get out of that dirty bar that you are in and come home quickly I need to talk to you."  he said then put the phone down.

Home, is now for me Mango's house.  I've totally lost the plot and because of Affair I've ended up living with Mango and Mulberry, they are looking after Affair because I really am not capable of looking after myself at the moment let alone Affair.

I sat back down at the bar, I finished the rest of my drink and order one more, a double, for the road which I knocked back in one then slid off my bar stool.  I stand there looking at my feet, I can still feel my legs just about, so I'm okay I think to myself as I trip over my own feet and slam into the bar - okay maybe I'm not okay.  I can hear the old man laughing now, he's back in his corner again, no doubt he's laughing at me, but now I'm way past caring.  "I'll see you tomorrow purple."  he said as I staggered out of the bar, I just waved at him as I walked through the door.

As I got outside the sunlight blinded me for a second, the fresh air slammed into me and I start to feel just how drunk I really am.  I squinted at my watch, it's only midday - I think - shit - do I have work later I can't remember??!!  My phone starts ringing again, I squinted at the screen looking at the number flashing - but I couldn't make them out they are too blurred.

I answered the phone holding it to my ear but I didn't speak, they are not catching me out again.   "Prelude, are you there?"  It's Mandering this time.


"Manderine, you're killing me do you know that!!"  I said as I stumbled on a stone and nearly fell flat on my face  "Why are you doing this to me??!!  Why can't you just leave me alone??!!"   

"Because I can't - I can't let you forget about me."  she replied

"Well that's not likely is it honey when you are permanently camped out in my head, and my ear and my phone ........"

"You've been drinking again haven't you!!"  She sounded irritated   "This is every day now, Prelude you need to stop this!!!!"

"Yes honey I'm wasted and it's all your fault!!"

"Prelude I really need you to snap out of this and pull yourself together.   I need you to use one of those visiting orders I've sent you, it's important that I see you."

"Why should I !!!"

"Because I need you!!!"  What is this bullshit now?!

I stood there talking to her for a while, my mind is now swimming and I'm having to lean up against the wall to stop myself for falling over.  I don't have the strength to fight her anymore and we just start chatting generally about any rubbish like we do everyday.  I know she is feeling exactly the same way about me as I do about her and that is why this is making it so much harder for me, and every day she is getting into my head just that little bit more because she never stops telling me how she feels.

The loud beeps squealed down into my ear warning us that her phone card is about to run out, she said something that I didn't quite catch then the call cut off.  I stood looking at my phone knowing she wouldn't be phoning me back again today - it hurt.

I stuffed my phone into my pocket and stood there swaying on my feet wandering why I am outside the bar instead of inside it - I need a drink - I started to head back inside when my phone started ringing again.  I'm getting really irritated now fumbling about trying to get my phone back out of my pocket - I know this is not going to be Manderine.  "What do you want now??"

"Your phone has been engaged for the past two and a half hours, who the Fudge have you been talking to??""  Mulberry is screaming down the phone at me.  I told him to mind his own damn business  "PRELUDE just get your arse home NOW before I come and fetch you!!!!!" what is wrong with these two today they have done nothing but shout at me all day.

"Okay Okay - keep your hair on kid, I'm on my way!!!"  I shut off my phone and staggered towards the pavement and hailed a cab to take me home.  It's a good job all the taxi drivers know me as I'm not even sure where home is right now.

I staggered into the house and straight away Mango started laying into me   

"Where the fudge have you been??  It's been over 3 hours since I called you to come home!!"  I can see he is not in a good mood AGAIN!!  

"No it hasn't you phoned me only 5 minutes ago!!"

"AAAAWWW ..............you useless DRUNK!!!" he yelled at me

I walk into the living room away from Mango who is now going off on one again ranting and raving, my head is swimming, I need to sit down before I fall down.  I tripped up over my own feet again on the way to the couch.

"The idiot is totally wasted again I told you he would be!!"  I heard Mulberry say

"Shut up kid you don't know what you're talking about!!"  I said as I flaked out on the couch,  "Do I have work today?"  I asked nobody in particular, they both shouted  "NO!!!!!!"  quite nastily at the same time.  They need to chill out, I only asked!!!!!

 "Good"  I said as I closed my eyes and passed out.

hours later .........

I'm shocked awake as the cold water hit my face.  I sat up to see Mulberry standing over me holding an empty glass, the contents of which are now dripping off me.

"Fudge Berry!!  What did you do that for??"  I snapped at him

"Get up you idiot - you are going to stop this fudging rubbish right now - you're nothing but a fudging selfish donut!!!!  You don't even remember you got sacked from your job weeks ago do you!!!!  You Nougat!!!"  he yelled in my face.  I noticed it is dark outside, I must have been out for hours.

"Not so loud kid, and watch your language!!!!"  I sat up holding my head the pain is awful.

"You don't have the right to tell me anything while your acting like you are!!!  Don't you think Mango has enough to deal with without you acting like a drunken bum all the time?!  You've got to stop feeling sorry for yourself - get your act together - I'll stop blaming you for Lilly's fall if you stop your damn drinking!!!" 

He doesn't have a clue - okay I do blame myself for Lilly's fall, like he does, I was the one who brought Manderine into the house - but that is not the reason why I'm drinking.  I'm drinking to try and blot Manderine out of my head, I love her when I don't want to, I thought drinking would help but its not working.  I just sit there staring at the floor, while my head is banging and Mulberry is pecking my head going on and on and on - my little kid brother is standing there giving me a lecture - that makes me laugh.

"So you think it's funny do you - Lilly is pregnant - Mango is in pieces - he really doesn't need you doing this, Affair is having to watch his Dad acting like a drunken idiot and how long has it been since you even bothered to go see or even speak to Wisty??   I'm warning you - if you are still acting like this when my baby arrives you are out of here - you can go back to your own house, that's if you still have one to go back to.   I'll look after Affair and you can go and drink yourself into the ground - there is space next to Cosmic with your name on it and if you're not careful you'll end up there sooner than you think!!"  he's yelling at me now, but I'm not listening anymore my mind is stuck on something he said ages ago.

"Lilly is pregnant??"  maybe I did hear Mango right on the phone earlier after all

"Yes, and we need you to sober up - Mango needs you!!!"

"Isn't he happy that she's pregnant?  I'm confused, when did this happen, how can she be pregnant??"

"Shes 12 weeks pregnant, she knew when she fell she just hadn't got round to telling Mango, she had a pregnancy test stick in her dressing gown pocket which has only just been found.  They have scanned her and amazingly she is still pregnant.  She's having triplets and there is a very high risk of none of them making it because of her being in the Coma and because there are three of them!!"

"Triplet - Wow!!  And they might not make it .......... Berry!!!  She can't lose any more she has already lost one baby because of .............."  I was going to say Manderine but I stopped myself.

The shock made me jump to my feet which I instantly regretted as my head started swimming again, my legs still wobbly - I'm hung over.

"Exactly - because of that green murdering bitch of yours - now pull yourself together and stop being so selfish - what's wrong with you anyway to make you drown yourself in alcohol and self pity - nothing - grow up!!"  Oh Manderine what have you done!!  "AND If I find out you have been sniffing around that murdering green thing again I'm going to bury you myself!!!!  Why in Berry's name would you even want to talk to her - How could you!!??"

"Just get off my back kid - you don't have a damn clue!!  Keep on talking to me like you are kid and I'll give you a good hiding!!!!!"

"Come on then Prelude give it your best shot - lets see if you can improve on yesterday's performance, let's see if you can actually hit me today without you falling face down on the carpet first - look at you you're too wasted to even fight a paper bag!!!  You're pathetic!!! Nothing but a disgusting drunk!!!!  You're turning out to be just like Dad and I thought you was better than that!!!!"

All his carry on is giving me a headache even worse than the one I've already got.  He's right about one thing I'm not up to even swinging a punch at the moment - he'd probably pan me right now.   I stormed off into my room slamming the door behind me.

I threw myself on the bed and closed my eyes, as soon as I do Manderine is there in my head   I really wanted to hate her for what she has done especially to Lilly, but how can I make myself hate her when I love her, I've been trying for weeks and its just not happening - this is all tearing me apart.  If only I could turn back time - if I hadn't been so busy trying to keep her at arms length none of this would have happened, I should have let her get her claws into me from the very start then I could have stopped everything she has done to ruin our lives.

Suddenly my door swung open with force - Mango is stood in the doorway his face like thunder.

"GET UP!!"  he yelled at me  "COME ON get out of your pit - This is stopping RIGHT NOW!!!  I'm beginning not to like you very much - HOW DARE YOU speak to that woman after what she's done to Lilly!!!!!!!"

Mango grabbed me by my arm and started dragging me out of the room and across the landing, he's flipped, I didn't even know he was capable, the look in his eyes and on his face and the tone in his voice I wouldn't put anything past him right now - he's lost it proper!!

"Where are we going?"  I asked him but he didn't answer me he just told me to get a move on, tightening his grip on my arm and pulling me along faster. I'm starting to lose it myself, its hard enough to stay on my feet because of the alcolhol without him pulling me along like a naughty child.  I shook my arm to get him to lose it  "Get off me you Jerk!!!"  I was about to swing for him but he beat me to it.


# SMACK #  his fist connected with my face so hard it knocked me backwards into the wall.  Damn that hurt!!!  I tasted blood in my mouth - Fudge Mango just punched me!!!  I stood staring at him mouth wide open, just him punching me that hard stunned me into not hitting him back, I didn't even know he was capable - not Mango!!!!

"Don't you ever call me a Jerk again!!!  You are getting a cold shower - Berry!!! YOU STINK!!!!  Then you and me are having words and you WILL listen to me this time Prelude because I've had it with you and your drinking and especially with who your loyalty seem to lie with - it stops today or you are OUT and I'm washing my hands of you!!!!"

He pushed me into the bathroom  "Take too long and I'm coming in to fetch you - so be warned!!!  You've got five minutes!!"

 

Then he slammed the door shut between us and I'm just stood staring at it in total shock.  I've never seen him like this before - unhinged!!

I get the feeling whatever Mango has planned for me is going to be painful!!!!





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Song: ~  Trying not to Love you ~ Nikelback

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