Side - Prelude 5

~ Lullaby ~

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I dialed the number nervously, my finger hovering over the last number wandering if I should even be doing this, I've already upset him enough - but I have to give it just one last try now that he has had time to get over the shock, I'll never forgive myself if I don't.  I pressed my finger down on the last number.

I am stood for ages just listening, the phone is ringing without being answered, he's ignoring my call again - I thought he might.   I knew it would be useless he's already told me exactly how he feels.  I'm just about to give up when I hear a click  "Hello."

"Mango please don't put the phone down!!"

"Prelude - please I don't want to have this conversation again - I've told you already how I feel and I really didn't appreciate you sending Maizie to see me either to do your dirty work for you, what did you think she could do - talk me around?!  Well I'm sorry I haven't changed my mind.!!"

"Maizie, I didn't send her - honestly!!"

"Prelude I can't believe you have done this to us!!  Like I don't already have enough problems of my own right now without you adding two more to them!!!"

"What's wrong - Lilly is okay isn't she?"

"Lilly hasn't changed any she's still the same - its Tapestry, I've got all sorts of stuff going on with him, hes still in the baby unit undergoing yet another round of tests because he's not right.  We already have three babies constantly screaming the house down and when Tapestry does come home he is going to be hard work - now you want to add another two to our headache!!!! but not just any babies HER DAMN babies!!!"

"But they are my babies too - PLEASE Mango, I'll beg if I have to, if you don't take them I'm going to lose them!!!"

"Well you should have thought about that before you got Lime pregnant then got yourself banged up - what if Lilly was to wake up right now - how do you think this is going to effect her seeing HER green babies in the house!!??  I have to think about Lilly"

"One green baby the other one is purple -  and I'm sorry but you know damn well I didn't do any of this on purpose - I didn't mean to hurt everyone!!!! "

"You keep saying that but you have done it non the less!!"

"Mango I'm sorry!!!"  he went quiet and didn't speak "Please Mango, 3 months and I'll be out of here - I don't want to lose my babies - you know how that feels .............."

"DON'T EVEN GO THERE!!!!!  No Prelude - I'm sorry I just can't do it - even if I wanted to - I've got enough problems of my own without bailing you out of your messes AGAIN!!"

"How is Affair?"  I asked him as he hadn't mentioned him yet.  I'm changing the subject away from the babies because I can tell his attitude towards them hasn't changed an inch since the last time I spoke to him - I guessed this would just be a waste of time, me even trying.

"He's fine, he's here if you want to talk to him, hold on."  I heard a door open and Mango shouted Affair then I heard him say "Come down here, its your Dad on the phone". Then it sounded like he put the phone down on a hard surface and walked away like he couldn't wait to get away from the conversation.

I stood listening to the activity going on in the background - a baby is crying, Mulberry is shouting Ice to bring him a bottle, another baby joins in with the crying then it sounded like the doorbell ringing and Mango's Mom said "Get that for me dear I'm feeding Coral."   It went pretty quiet for a short time then I heard Mango shout  "Hurry up Affair your Dads still on the phone and Cherry is here."  a baby starts crying and Mango shouts "I've got him" - It sounds like bedlam but I'd give anything to be there right now.

"Hello, what do you want?"  Affair snapped at me,  I told him not to talk to me like that  "Sorry Dad but I'm busy right now."

"Doing what? - You haven't been to see me for two weeks either - would it hurt you to talk to me for 5 minutes??!!"

"Yes when I'm just about to go out and Cherry is waiting for me - I'll come to see you at the weekend I promise"  I asked him who Cherry is   "You know who Cherry is and before you ask yes she is my girlfriend"

"Sunny's Cherry?"  I asked and he said yes  "Isn't she a little young for you?"

"She's two years younger than me, we are both teenagers - 2 years is not a crime you know!!  Sunny and Ruby are happy with us being together, they are not complaining about our age difference."

"Well you just be careful ............."  he cut me short

"STOP!!  If you are about to say what I think you are going to say - Don't bother!!! - You are the last person I want to take advice from regarding my sex life!!!  Mulberry told me about my two new "brothers" - you're an idiot!!!!"

"That's enough cheek from you Affair!!!  Come to see me at the weekend Please!!  I miss you!!!!"  He said he would then said he had to go Cherry is getting impatient, he said goodbye then put the phone down.  Affair has a girlfriend!!!!  When did he suddenly grow up??

I went back to my cell feeling lost.  I knew it would be useless - Mango really has washed his hands of me and I suppose I can't blame him with all the extra stress I've caused him.  I'm going to lose my babies and there isn't a damn thing I can do about it.

I felt like smashing up my cell, what little there is of it, but I thought better of it, it would only be me sleeping on the cold floor tonight nobody else.  I was quick to learn that lesson the first day after I arrived here.

My door opened and I looked up, one of the prison guards walked in "Are you okay down there?"  he asked, I just nodded and put my head back down.  I actually liked this prison guard he is always okay.  "Purple you've got mail"  he said making me look up again, he's waving an envelope at me and he's smiling  "It's come all the way from the women's wing - you've been waiting for this one haven't you!!"

"Didn't I tell you if I got mail from her you were to bin it - I don't want it!!"

He didn't listen he threw it on my table.  "I'll leave it here for you - you might feel like reading it later."  I told him not to bank on it.  He went to leave then stopped  "Something that might cheer you up a little - that social worker friend of yours has booked in a visit, we are to get you ready for 1 o'clock tomorrow."

"Cheer me up!! - yeah it'll be signing a load more papers no doubt - signing my babies lives away - the highlight of my week that's going to be!!"  I said to him sarcastically.

"Well, she's not coming alone apparently, she's bringing two little fellas with her so I'm told."  This made me look up


"The twins?"  I jumped up off the floor and asked half surprised and half with excitement.

"Yes she's bringing the twins."  he smiled at me and I don't realise I'm smiling until he tells me  "See that's got a smile out of you already!!"  he walked out and pulled the door too behind him.  I'm happy that I am actually getting to see them but I know what tomorrow means - tomorrow will be when Maizie takes them from Manderine and they disappear into the social care system

My mind kept wandering towards the letter and so do my eyes, I can already feel it burning into me.  I got up and looked at it, my name and prison number scrawled across the envelope in Manderines hand writing which I recognized straight away from when we used to work together.  I picked it up and turned it over, her prison number and name written on the back.

I threw it back on the table and just sat there staring at it,  wanting and not wanting to open it at the same time - opening it is just going to send me again onto that slippery slope back towards her, I've spent the last six months trying to get off it without any success.

Why am I still trying to fight with myself?? - What does it really matter any more??  We have two boys now that are never going to let me get away from how I feel about her.

I tore open the envelope and started to read the letter.


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I'm sat impatiently waiting for Maizie to walk in with the twins.  I looked at the clock on the wall it says five past one, I've been sat here for only five minutes but it already feels like hours.

At quarter past the door finally opened up and in she walks with a female prison officer both of them carrying a baby.

"Prelude I'm sorry!!  I know I'm late, we had a little trouble with Manderine."  Maizie said as she came in, she looked a little flustered.

"Is she okay?"  I had to ask as I can imagine she has kicked off when they have gone to remove the twins, not sure that I will be able to stop myself from doing exactly the same thing when my time is over with them.

"Not really, but it's to be expected, its not the first time it's happened when I've had to sepearate Mothers and babies and no doubt it won't be the last, it's always the part about my job that I hate the most - I feel for them I really do!!"  she smiled at me  "Quite fiesty isn't she Manderine"  she said just as I noticed the red mark across the one side of Maizies face.

"She's hit you - I'm sorry!!"  she ran her hand over the mark  "It's fine, like I said it's not the first time - I just hope you are not going to give me the same trouble!!" 

I didn't remark on her last comment as I got distracted by the prison officer who handed me the baby she is holding, then she turned to Maizie and told her someone would be out in the corridor in an hour to escort her out.

One hour is all I am going to get with my babies before they take them away and I lose them.

I looked down at the green baby that I'm holding who is staring back at me with my eyes.  So this is Parsley, he is the one that I've wandered most about since I found out about them.  The one that I feel is going to be getting the hardest time from my own family - that's if he even gets to be a part of it.  The one I most need to get my own head around - the whole mixing thing is still a struggle in my mind, I've grown up being taught - it's a crime, a sin and it doesn't happen. Since I've found out that it does actually happen and there is a town like this one, full of mixed berries, my Dad has drummed it into my head so much that me and Mulberry are definately not to do it - and here we are - we both have, Lilly too - he would be drinking himself into oblivion if he knew right now he has six mixed berry grandchildren already!!!

"There are just a few more papers you need to sign."  Maizie said with a troubled look on her face as she handed me a bottle for Parsley then glanced at the clock  "but it will only take a minute so they can wait till just before I leave."

"Is something wrong?"  I asked her because she is looking a little agitated and keeps glancing over towards the door like she is waiting for someone to come through it ............. and I think I might know who.  She shook her head and said nothing is wrong, but I know there is.  "You know you're not a very good liar Maizie!!!"  she just looked up and smiled.  "You went to see Mango didn't you, I spoke to him yesterday - did you tell him to be here today?  because If it's Mango you're watching out for, he's not coming you know - I told you he wouldn't do it!!"

"He's changed so much - he's not the Mango I used to know!!!  I really expected him to be sat here with you when I arrive .............. I'm sorry I did try for you!!!"  she said looking towards the door again.

"I know, don't worry about it, Its my own fault, I have put him through hell on top of what he is already having to deal with - Lilly and the triplets - It's my own fault he's washed his hand of me.  Forget it now - you need to start thinking about how you are going to get them back for me when I get out of here!!"

"Don't worry I'm already working on it!!"  she said. "Do you want to swap over?"  she said as she can probably see I'm watching Storm.  We swapped the babies over and started chatting for a while as we both played with the babies.

I looked at the clock, the time is racing away - I wished I could stop it somehow.  I looked down at Storm who is now sleeping and I can feel myself getting upset.  Oh Berry - help me - what have I done!!!  For the next three months where are they going to be?  Who is going to be looking after them?  Then after that how long is it going to take me to get them back?   I can feel myself going.

"They will be kept together won't they!!"  I would hate for them to be split up.  I can hardly talk and I can't hold it in any longer, the tears start rolling down my face.

"Don't worry Prelude they will be kept together"  I can hear her messing about with papers, she said quietly  "I'm sorry, its time we got these papers signed"

I heard the door open and I didn't want to look up, I'm crying if anyone notices I'm never going live this down, it's going to be the prison guard coming to help take my babies away.

My heart nearly fell through the floor when I heard Mango's voice.

"Sorry Maizie, I got held up in surgery, I didn't think I was going to make it on time, and your phone is switched off!!"  I looked up trying to wipe the tears out of my eyes that are blurring my vision and Mango is just standing there in the doorway staring at me.

"I knew you'd come!!"  Maizie said smiling  "I knew the old you was still in there somewhere!!"

"I seriously need my head testing, I know that much!!"  he looked at me  "And don't even think we've let you off the hook because we haven't - far from it - it's going to be a very long time before we forgive you for this!!!  Don't think I'm doing this for you or her either because I'm not, I am doing it for them, I've started to feel sorry for them having you two for parents!!!!"  he stopped for a minute and I thought he had finished but he hadn't   "I'm warning you too - The minute you're released you are moving back to your own house, I don't want Lilly getting upset by all this when and if she wakes up until she is properly back on her feet!!!  This is the last time I'm bailing you out Prelude and I mean it - you mess up from here and I swear you are on your own!!!!"

"Anything you say!!!!  Thank you!!!!"  I'm standing here in shock just staring at him, not quite knowing what to do or say, I'm not sure he even realizes what he's done coming to take the babies for me - I had visions of me pushing the self destruct button the minute those babies left from here today with Maizie.

Maizie is now rooting around in her bag awkwardly because she is holding Parsley.  She looked up at Mango  "Can you take him for me I need to dig the other paperwork out."

He took Parsley and started to look at him  "So which one is this one?"  he asked  I told him it was the green one, expecting his expression to change but it didn't  "I'm already getting the three we have at home muddled up - they all look the same to me at this age, we are thinking about getting them all name badges."  he started to laugh to himself

Maizie suddenly stopped what she was doing and looked up  "Mango, you are going to cope with this aren't you!!"

"It's a bit late to be asking me that don't you think!!!  Anyway there are 8 of us at the moment and Cherry is always camped out at ours these days, there are enough of us to cope, we'll be just fine!!"

I'm confused for a minute wandering who the two extra's are "Eight who are the extra two??"

"School holidays, I've inherited Wisty and her boyfriend for 6 weeks - I need a bigger house!!!"  He turned to me  "I'm paying your bills so you don't lose your house and Mulberry and Ice are talking about moving into yours till you get out - they could do with their own space, they are getting married in a few weeks, something else you are about to miss out on!!!!"

"I'm sorry I didn't mean to dump all my kids on you!!"  he just smiled at me  "Mango ..... I ......"

"Save it Prelude - I know!!!!"  He looked down at Parsley again  "I need to know their names."  when I told him he just laughed and said they had bets on the green one being named after something green and edible.  I am pretty surprised at how he is taking all this.

Just then the door opened "Are you nearly finished only your visits running overtime and there are other visitors and prisoners waiting to use this room."  he stood there then added  "Miss Lane, Freeze is still kicking off over on the other wing apparently, they've sent word over that she's demanding to see you already, I thought I'd let you know before you left!!"  Me and Mango just looked at each other without saying a word.

"Five more minute - just sorting out the last of the paper work."  Maizie said to him, he left again and smiled at me as he closed the door.  "I suppose I should maybe come back later  - give her the good news hopefully it might help calm her down a little."

"Is that what's happened to your face??"  Mango asked looking a little amused  "Lime seems to be making a habit of giving you black eyes - And I'm not sure telling Lime that I've got the twins will calm her down any - it will probably send her off on one even more!!"

After me and Mango signed what we had to Maizie finished tidying away the last of the paperwork  "Sorry Prelude its time for us to be leaving, I need to take Storm now."  I can see them both quickly look at each other then they stand looking at me warily - I held him out to her and she took him off me.  I really didn't mind handing him over knowing that they are going home with Mango, I'm not going to lose them and its only 3 months till I get out of here.

"I'm fine, I'm not going to kick off or anything so you can both stop looking at me like that!!"  neither of them said anything  "If they weren't going home with Mango then it probably would have been a totally different story - but I'm fine honestly - I want to get out of here in three months."

I find myself alone suddenly after watching them walk out, sat waiting again for a prison guard to take me back to my cell.  I'm still finding it hard to believe that Mango turned up to take them after everything he has said - I wander what changed his mind??

The prison guard turned up quite quickly "Come on purple, you've held everyone up long enough for one day!!"  I got up and started to follow him  "I'm really glad you have behaved yourself today, unlike her over on the other side, she's still kicking off big time apparently!!."

"Can I see her??  I can calm her down."

"I'm sorry Purple, you know that's not remotely possible, I'm surprised you even asked!!"  he looked at me thoughtfully  "I'll tell you what, write her a letter and I'll make sure I get it delivered to her straight away."  I thought about the cupboard in the corner of my cell.

When I walked into my cell I said to him "Can I show you something"  I walked over to the cupboard and opened it, he looked into the cupboard then looked at me.  "Blimey purple what have you done written a letter to everyone in this town???  Just how many letters do you have in there??"

"187 - I've written her a letter every day since I've been in here, although I never really meant for her to ever see them - they are all dated and numbered."  he started laughing  "Can you deliver these to her too??"  he carried on laughing for ages and I expected him to say no  "I'll probably get into a lot of trouble for this, but okay, I'll go and get you a box."  he walked out of my cell still laughing.

 I sat down at the table, picked up my pen and started writing letter number 188.

I'm lay on my bed later that day the prison guard walked into my cell and placed a box on the table, I though he was bringing my letters back.  "Sorry did you get into trouble?"  I said as I sat up

"No Purple, I've delivered your letters for you, it seems she's written you a few but she had no forwarding address to send them too."  He started laughing, just then a phone started ringing, it's the guards phone - he quickly took it out of his pocket and answered it.  He held the phone out to me.  "You've got an hour Purple then I'll be back for my phone - I'm waring you - don't mess about because it won't be just you and me you'll be getting into trouble!!!  he said, as he got to the door he stopped and looked at me a little troubled  "Don't let me down Purple, I've just put my neck on the line for you!!"  he said before he slipped out of my cell pulling the door too quietly. 

I'm staring at the phone in my hand, confused, my brains not quite quick enough to realize what is going on.  "Hello"  I said into the phone.

"Prelude ..... is that really you?"  hearing her speaking on the other end of the phone is the last thing that I expected.  "Manderine ....??!!"  I dived off the bed in shock - just hearing her voice brought everything slamming back.

"You're a FUDGING IDIOT do you know that!!!!!   They've taken my babies away because you were stupid enough to go and get yourself locked up!!!"  she starts screaming at me down the phone

"SHUT UP BITCH - they haven't taken them away, Mango is looking after them until I get out, has Maizie not been back to see you??!!."

"WHAT!!!???  THE NERD!!??  The Nerd has got MY babies???!!!"

"OUR babies ........... he is their Uncle or had you forgotten?!  You should be grateful, it's far more than we both deserve after everything Mango is going through because of you and everything I've put him through!!!   We both would have lost them if he wasn't look after them -  so stop worrying!!!! - now are you going to stop screaming at me or am I putting the phone down, you're already giving me a headache!!!"

 She quietened down and we started to chat normally.

The hour flew by all to quickly

"Prelude they are telling me I have to end the call .... Please come see me when you get out .... I love you."  click the phone cut off and all I can hear is silence.

I stood looking at the phone, shes gone and I have the most awful feeling in my chest and stomach.

"Yeah, I love you too"

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Song:  Lullaby ~ Daughtry