Side - Prelude 4

~ Drown In You ~

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A second prison officer had arrived to stop me from beating his mate to a pulp  - he had landed a good heavy punch smacking me in the temple sparking me clean out.

I came round in the back of a police car in handcuffs and I'm on my way to the police station.  The evil me is out in force, this is the only way I'm coping, my mind has flipped.  I am being pretty impossible for the police officers to handle, I'm fighting every inch of the way and throwing loads of verbal abuse at them, even in handcuffs I managed to leave one of the police officers with a bloody nose after head butting him in the face.  It took five of them to hold me down.  I am thrown roughly into a police cell the door slammed shut and I'm left to rot.

No bail and twenty four hours later I am stood in a courtroom being told I am spending the next 18 months of my life in prison.  If the guard with the broken ribs and jaw and the police officer with the broken nose had been ordinary people on the street I would have walked away with a warning - but I had to go and hit a prison guard and police officer - men in uniform, officers of the law - I was never getting away with that!!! 

If I behave - IF - I can get parole when I've done 9 months, after my first few days of constantly kicking off and smashing up my cell I calmed down, put my head down and started to do my time quietly.

It's been six months now ............

Prison gives you a lot of time to think and I've done plenty of that.  In a way I suppose this is the best place that I could have been because it kept me away from Manderine - we might be living under the same roof right now but the male and female prisoners are kept completely seperate in totally separate wings and our paths can never cross.

On the outside no matter what I knew, no matter what my concience was telling me, no matter how much I hated everything she's done, no matter how much I sat there and watched my family and friends suffer - somehow I know I'm never getting over this, I'm never going to stop loving her and I hate myself for it.

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My cell door opened and one of the prison officers is stood in the doorway  "Purple you have a visitor"  I snapped at him   "How many more times do I have to tell you my name's NOT purple!!!"  he just laughs at me and tells me to hurry up and takes me down to the visitors room.

I do as I'm told because I'm missing the outside, I am totally stir crazy and don't know how I'm getting through the next three months without going totally insane!!!!  I'm also scared that the past six months have done nothing for me as far as Manderine is concerned, she's still in my head, she's still there every time I close my eyes, I'm still carrying around a pain that I can not shake.  They say there is a thin line between love and hate, but still I haven't been able to find it or cross it - I'm not sure that line even exists for me.

 I'm sitting waiting for my visitor to arrive wandering who it might be, I'm also wandering why it is so late, visiting times were finished hours ago, they don't usually let visitors in this late.   Oh berry!!  I hope Lilly is okay, a visit at this time could only mean it's something important.

Mango is still disgusted with me, he's only been to visit me once and that was just to tell me how he felt about me and what I'd done to land myself in here , he was more angry about the fact that I had been having daily contact with Manderine and especially that I went to visit her after everything she has done to Lilly - but I couldn't help myself, I love the woman what was I supposed to do?!  My intentions were good to start with - to say goodbye - the end result was really not what I'd intended.

Affair and Wisteria visit from time to time but that's generally on a weekend because of school, its a week day so I am expecting Mulberry to walk through the door.  Mulberry is as angry with me as Mango, but he does come to visit me regularly even if its just to remind me that I'm stupid and I've missed so much ..........  I now have two neice's and two nephew's that I haven't even seen yet.  All three of Lilly's triplets made it thankfully and Mulberry now has a little girl of his own.

I heard the door open so I looked up.  A mixed berry woman walked into the room, I didn't recognize her, I stood up automatically thinking they have made a mistake here, she is not my visitor.

"Hello Prelude"  she said as she walked towards me, I recognized her voice before I recognized her face.

Oh Berry!!!  She has changed so much!!

"Maizie!!"  Why on earth would she be coming to visit me???  "Well this is a surprise, Maizie you are the last person I expected to see walking through that door!!"

"I would have been to see you a lot earlier if I'd know where you were, I ended up having to track you down through Mango."  I found what she said very strange.

We both sat down.

"So why have you come to visit me Maizie??  It's not like we are friends exactly!!!"

"I should warn you before I start, this is not a social call, I'm here in an official capacity - I don't know if you know, after me and Mango split up I left the hospital and I work for Social services now."  Social Services -  Fudge!! - oh here we go!!!!

"No I didn't ............ If this is about Affair you know Mango is taking very good care of him!!"  Affair was the only reason why I can imagine that she is here.

"No this is nothing to do with Affair."  she said smiling at me.

"Ive been trying to get in touch with you for over a month now, I've phoned, called at your house, left you notes and messages and written to you a few times but you didn't respond obviously now I know it is because you are in here."   I just sat getting a little irritated waiting for her to get to the point of why she is here, I remember she used to irritate me when she was Mango's girlfriend, she used to go on incessantly without taking a breath, how he ever put up with her I'll never know.   "It's pretty lucky that I know you, otherwise I'd never have been able to track you down, I went to see Mango and he told me where you were and why."

"So if this is not about Affair then why are you here?"  I asked her again

"It's a little delicate and it might come as a little bit of a shock to you ....... you should get yourself prepared."  she stopped for a minute before she carried on - I'm now beginning to panic in my head, has someone faded?!.  "My client is Manderine Freeze ............"  I interrupted her before she said anything else.

"What The Fudge ..............."  Just hearing Maizie saying Manderine's name knocked me sick, my mind started swimming with confusion, Manderine - Social Services - W.T.F. does this have to do with me?.

"Manderine as you know is in the woman's wing of this prison, she said you did a vanishing act on her about 6 months ago, she has been quite distraught over your disappearance, she didn't think you would actually do it and stay away this long - at the moment she does not know that you are also here in this prison."

"Because I didn't want her to know, and you are not to tell her I'm here either - the quicker I get that women out of my system the better for all of us!!!  Do me a favour Maizie PLEASE Don't tell her where I am."

"I'm sorry Prelude but under the circumstances it might not be possible to keep your whereabouts a secret from her, I can try but it is not going to be easy, she does have rights......."

"Rights??!!  W.T.F!!!  Maizie I think you need to get to the point here and quickly, I'm not married to the woman for berries sake she has no rights where I am concerned!!!!!"

"But she does have rights where the babies are concerned .............. Prelude, Manderine has just had twins .......... they are your babies."

I sat there is shock for a few minutes just staring at Maizie who is waiting for some sort of reaction from me.  What month is this?  It's not April fools day is it??  She is here as a wind up, she's got to be!!

"Your joking right!!??"

"Sorry no Prelude I'm not." 

"OH NO!!!!  She is not pinning her brats on me!!!!  She is married go see her husband!!!"

"She has actually been divorced from Mr Freeze for nearly two years now,  she says they are your babies and I have to say I believe her."  Why didn't she tell me she wasn't married anymore??  She's up to something - my babies, yeah right!!!

"I wouldn't believe a word that comes out of that woman's mouth ............... You do know who she is don't you Maizie ..... LIME ..... I just wished I'd found that out before it was all too late!!! "

"It took me a while to figure it out but yes I know who she is, she drove that car at me too remember!!!  I too have a reason to hate her remember I lost Mango because of her fading Cosmic, it left Lilly free for him, I knew it was game over for me the minute I felt Cosmic didn't have a pulse.  Unfortunately I have to do my job and she was assigned to me."  she went quiet for a moment  "As for the babies Ive seen them Prelude, there is no mistaking they have your hair and eyes, one of them is completely purple, but to put your mind at rest I can organize a DNA test if you want me to."

"FUDGE!!!!"

NO!!!  This can't be happening.  A thousand things rushed through my head all at once.  Babies!!!  How could I have been so stupid - Fudge!!!  Of course they are going to turn out to be my babies - they are purple and I would be that damn stupid and unlucky!!!!!

"You also being in Prison has actually made this case a little more complicated, the twins can only stay with Manderine for two weeks then they will have to be taken into care.  I am Manderine's case worker and its my job to place the twins either with their father or into care ............."

"HELL NO!!!  IF they are my kids they are not going into care!!!!"

"I'm sorry Prelude but with you being in here, and I know you have a possibility of parole in three month, but they can not stop with Manderine until then, we don't have any other choice, I'm going to have to place the twins into care and if you want them you will have to fight the system for them once you are released, which I can help you with."

"So why come here and tell me about them if you are just going to lay the boot in and tell me I can't have them either ??!!"

"You have rights, like Manderine does, although your's are slightly lessoned because you two are not married.   Manderine is not voluntarily giving up her babies she is being forced too by law because she is going to spend most of her lifetime in Prison.  She has the right to know what happens to them, she specifically wants them to be placed with you, she doesn't want them to go into care either."  Yeah I bet she does - she's found the perfect way to keep her claws into me forever!!!

"Then we are stuffed aren't we!!  I suppose with my criminal record, especially for violence,  I'm going to have one hell of a fight with the system to get them back aren't I?!"

"Unfortunately yes!!"

GREAT!!!!!

I can't believe this is happening to me.  Any hope of getting Manderine out of my head and my system has just been smashed into a million pieces.  Fudge!!!  I have two babies!!!  Two babies that are going to remind me of her ever day, especially the green one.  Mixed berry babies that tie me to her and this town forever even after Affair is an adult and has his own life, there is no escape for me now is there.  If they are my kids there is no way I can turn my back on them and let them go just because their mother happens to be HER!!

"Prelude it is not completely useless - there is one thing that we can do."  I looked up at her  "We could place them into temporary foster care with one of your relatives, that way you getting custody of them will be a lot more straight forward - do you have a relative that would be willing to take care of them until you are released?"

Oh yeah - a great queue of them!!!  "You tell me Maizie - my Dad has disowned me just for having a mixed berry relationship, he'll probably plant me next to Cosmic when he finds out I've got mixed berry children - my mother would probably abuse them because they are mixed berries like she did Lilly and Affair because she couldn't hack them being colourless - so you can safely count my parents out!!  Lilly is in a coma so there is another no.  Mulberry and Ice - they have just had their own child - Mulberry hates me and blames me just as much as he blames Manderine for what happened to Lilly - he also said he wanted to bury me so I doubt very much he would entertain looking after our children.  Ice, was bullied through school by Manderine and have you seen the state of her face - Manderine slashed it up with a knife so I doubt she would be up for looking after any of Manderines babies.  That just leaves Mango - who I have already destroyed - he hates me and if Lilly never wakes up he is NEVER going to forgive me for taking Manderine into the house and then even after I found out she was Lime I was  in constant contact with her up until I was put in here - so I doubt very much he will fall over himself to look after any offspring of Manderines!!"

Maizie just sat there looking at me.

"No Maizie, It's hopeless - I don't think I do!!!!"

In a fit of temper I jumped up grabbing my chair - it was about to fly across the room and smashed up the wall - but Maizie stopped me shouting at me, like she could sense what is coming.

"PRELUDE STOP!!!!"  she yelled as she jumped up out of her chair  "You are not doing yourself any favours losing your temper, you can't afford to get into any more trouble, I can help you get your babies but you have to help me.   I need you to be a model prisoner from now one, I've had a look through your records since you've been in here and you've only had a few scuffles in the first week but that's pretty normal when people are acustoming themselves to prison life, and that is generally overlooked.  I shouldn't, and I could get into trouble for it, but because I know you I will cut a few corners to make sure you get the twins but I can't do it if you don't help me!!!"

"Still I don't think I have anyone that I can ask to take care of them for me - so it's useless."

"Look, you never know unless you try!!  You need to ask Mulberry and Mango if they are prepared to look after them temporarily, you know Mango is not an unreasonable person, I'm sure he will do it for you if you ask him - after all - none of this is the twins fault, they didn't ask to be born out of all this mess - I know Mango and his reasoning - he wouldn't take it out on the babies."

"I'm not so sure - he's changed, he gets pretty demented where Lilly is concerned - you haven't seen what he has been like since Lilly went down those stairs and into that coma,  Mango is a different person now, I just know he won't do it."

"I can imagine how he has been, I lived with him remember - I had to watch him get totally unhinged over Lilly just having Cosmic's baby - but still, Mango could never turn his back on those babies, he'd never live with himself letting them go into the care system.   I'm confident he is your best bet and him being a well respected doctor will only work in your favour."

"I'll make arrangements for you to see the prison doctor tomorrow so we can get a DNA test organised to put your mind at rest, but for me that's just a formality I don't doubt for a minute that they are not yours."

"Do they really have my eyes and hair?"

"Yes, both have your hair and eye colouring, I recognized it the moment I saw them.  One is green skinned the other one is completely purple, and they are both boys I'm not sure I've actually said."

"No you didn't".

I never planned to have anymore children always too scared that they might end up being colourless.  Berry I had to laugh I wander if that had every crossed Manderines mind - that the baby might end up colourless - that would have totally freaked her out!!

"So what has she named them?"

"Well she's named the green one Parsley, and the purple Storm"

Yeah she just would wouldn't she - pick names that mean something, it felt like she is stood here twisting the knife in just that little bit further - giving them names that will always make me think about her.

"She's a bitch!!!"  I said out load without even realizing

"You don't like the names?"  she asked

I actually don't mind them but this is just her way of a little joke to get to me - when we worked together she used to annoy me coming on to me all the time and I always used to tell her I don't like Parsley, I never eat greens.  It kind of stuck till the other lads nicknamed her Parsley.  Storm is my middle name, she always said it suited me better than Prelude, I was always so mean and moody around her at work trying to keep her at arms length,  she always used to say when I was in a bad mood be careful the storm is blowing again, that stuck too so anytime I was in a mood they called me Storm instead of Prelude.

"If you don't like them I could always ask her if you can have a say in rename them, after all, you will be the one eventually bringing them up."  she said when I stood there thinking instead of speaking


"No - it will piss her off more if I don't change them - their names can stay as they are ........ except their surnames are not to be registered as Freeze, if they are my kids then they will be Orchid."

"Prelude, I can only go on what Manderine says, you not being married, we can't even get you on their birth certificate without Manderines say so and your concent, you will both need to sign some paperwork but I don't see why she wouldn't, she does want you to take them, legally she didn't even have to tell you about them and could have put them straight into care, but she's been quite adamant that I find you and that you take the twins."

"So what happens now?"  My head is swimming and I'm finding it a little hard to take everything in that she is saying.

"You need to have a word with Mango and Mulberry, find out if they are willing to take care of them, tomorrow we'll get the wheels in motion for the DNA test, I'll be back in three days to see you again.  I'm going to have to go and tell Manderine that I've found you and there is quite a bit of paperwork that I need to draw up before I come to see you again  - I'm really not sure I can keep your whereabouts secret ..... she is going to want to know why you can't take them straight away and why they are having to go into care or foster care."

"It doesn't matter anymore - she's got what she wanted - me on a noose hanging for the rest of my life, and its not like she can visit me or phone me, all she can do is write to me - tell her if it makes your job easier, but please Maizie only if you have to."  she smiled at me and it fell silent for a few moments  "The babies are they here can I see them?"

"They are in the prison hospital wing with Manderine but I'm not sure - I've had prison babies to deal with before but never where both parents are in prison, I'll need to check what the procedure is in this case - I'll let you know when I come to see you again - I'll take a photo of them for you when I go to see Manderine." 

"Thanks Maizie"  she hugged me which took me by surprise.

"Just behave Prelude!!  Its a good job I know you and I know this isn't you right now, you need to pull yourself together for the babies sakes!!"  I felt like laughing - no this is me - she really doesn't know me very well, she just met the "nice" me that has been a pretense very hard for me to keep up - Manderine just brought out the real me.

I watched Maize walk out of the room then I sat back down while I waited for a prison guard to come and escort me back to my cell.  I suddenly felt a relief wash over me - I don't have to fight with myself anymore - shes got me whether I want it or not - these babies now tie me to her forever.  My family, well they are just going to have to accept it - there is nothing I can do about it now.

The door opened,  "Come on purple I need to get you locked up before lights out."  the guard said as I walked past him  "Cheer up anyone would think someone has just faded!!"  

"Yeah they did - me!!"

"I know why your social worker friend came to visit, late visits have to be sanctioned - I thought you'd be happy with her news."

"Do I look happy!!!!"  he just laughed at me as I walked into my cell

The door closed behind me with a thud, the bunch of keys gangling as the key turned in the lock.
I threw myself on the bed and closed my eyes

I cried myself to sleep.

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Song:  Drown In You ~ Dauhgtry
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