Saturday, 29 September 2012

Chapter 3 - Gen 1 - Lilly

~ Bully ~

Two months have passed by and still things are not any better, I am alone, but that is how I have been for most of my life anyway so that does not really bother me so much.  It is the way that people reacted to me here that I can not get used to.  

In Rainbow Valley it had been a lot different, I was used to the physical abuse, mainly dished out by my own brother, but at school I had been shoved, poked, tripped up, pinned up against a wall while they took turns to spit on me, I was used to having bruises to hide, but here there was none of that.

Here, in Strawberry Falls, they also never having seen a colourless berry before, treat me quite differently  ..............  like a leper who has to be avoided at all cost.  You would think I was contagious, "don't touch her she will make your colour fade." that I have heard said on more than one occasion, and it seemed to be the opinion of most people in this town.  If they touch me they too will become colourless - I ask you how ridiculous is that!!  So as not to have any contact with me they give me a wide berth.  Here they do not get me physically, they got me mentally instead.

I am the source of most of the other pupils entertainment in this place and creeping into my room in the middle of the night while I am sleeping is one of their favorite games, made easier by me having a room of my own, nobody was brave enough and everyone refuse to share a room with me.

Some of the things done have been downright evil, breaking or stealing my personal things, but the worse thing they did - something I will never forgive or forget!!

Finding my only picture of Mulberry, which had been pinned to the wall by my bed, torn into hundreds of pieces and scattered all around my room - damn near killed me.

I spent hours carefully trying to piece it all back together using sellotape.  I searched high and low for Mulberry's face, but those pieces were missing, I couldn't find them anywhere.  I was mortified.

I placed the faceless patchwork picture into a book and shoved it to the back of a draw, it hurt me to look at it in the state that it was in.

 Mulberry is the only part of home I ever want to keep in my life, and his photograph was my most treasured possession.  I never plan to go back to that place, my so called home and family, once school is over I plan to go my own way.

Nastiness aside, most of the time they just played pranks and at first I fell for all of them.

About a month back I had to spend the whole day in the school laundry boil washing all of my clothes over and over until I got them clean and white again. They had thrown all of my clothes into a bath full of yellow dye while I slept.  Then, after spending a few weeks walking around school with turquoise green hair, which took what felt like a hundred washes to completely remove - I was quick to learn my lesson and did not fall for any more of their bedroom pranks again.

I lie in wait, awake but pretending to be a sleep and wait for them to come.  They are like the monster who I used to think lived under my bed, I am always ready and waiting they are not going to outsmart me, I am awake and aware they just don't know it.  Since they destroyed Mulberry's photograph they have not touched any of my personal stuff, but I will soon be out of bed if they try.
I soon learned who were the main culprits for sneaking into my room at night -  Jazzberry and Ice - but they were only doing Lime's dirty work - Lime is the ring leader for all things bad in this place, they are her lapdogs, she says jump and they ask how high.  Lime rarely gets her hands dirty and only pays me a nightly visit when they have something extra special up their sleeves.

Ice usually takes the computer - she thinks she will be scaring me to death with the scare screen, she also roots through my email account - but there is never anything there for her to find, I delete everything personal and private before I go to bed.  Not that there is ever much to delete, only the occasional email from my parents.  Everything else is usually spam or hate mail from within the school itself, which I do leave for her to have a good snigger at, I never read it myself - my logic, while she is busy nosing through my emails it is keeping her occupied and she isn't up to other stuff.

Jazzberry usually does most of the other stuff - but I am always careful to listen to him moving around, which is not too hard because he is one clumsy fool.  Sometimes I set my own traps, I leave something lying around on the floor like a bag, he never fails to fall over them, sometimes I nearly give myself away, it is so hard for me not to giggle when I hear him bouncing off the walls and furniture quietly swearing so as not to wake me.  I can generally tell what Jazzberry is up to and avoid the pranks he thinks are going to get me.  Jazzberry is the one with all the plumbing skills, booby trapping the taps and shower in the bathroom.

Today starts for me in the usual way de pranking my room after the usual nightly visit - saying hello to mr ape face who will pop up on my computer as soon as I turn it on, which does not even make me jump anymore because I know it is coming. Then deleting my inbox so that it can fill up with more junk mail for Ice to snoop through.  Then it is removing woopee cushions from the sofa and running the shower until the water is clear and free of dye before I can take my morning shower.  I wander now why they continue with their pranks, surely they can see they are not working I have only once had dyed hair for them to see, they must realize by now that I know exactly what they are doing.

 I.T. is far from being one of my favorite lessons.  I have to suffer being in the computer room for three one hour lessons a week, and it is not actually the computers that I dislike, it is the company that I have to keep during that lesson.  Lime, Ruby and Ice also do I.T. at the same time as I do, my green, red and blue nightmares - the three of them together always means plenty of trouble for me.

"I see she has herself a body guard today girls."  I heard Lime say and right on cue her two lapdogs,  Ruby and Ice, started to snigger behind me.  I half smiled at myself. I had strategically sat here today on purpose, so that I would have a 'body guard' of sorts, Mr Ocean sat right next to me reading, they would have to leave me alone at least until he wanders off to the bathroom, but hopefully he will spend the whole of this lesson sat there reading his book..

"You three girls are late again, I think I might have to have a word with Mrs Flowers about your time keeping - now take your seats and get working on your assignments, they are due in on Friday remember."  He spoke to them without taking his eyes off his book, if he had heard the bodyguard comment he did not mention it.  The three girls huffed and puffed then took their seats and after a few minutes the class was quiet again all but the clicking from the keyboards as everyone got on with their assignments in silence.

I never doubted that this school would be any different to my last, and that I would be picked on for being colourless and Lime is my main tormenter here any opportunity she gets she is at me.  She was quite aptly named after a bitter fruit and she is definitely bitter to her core, she even makes Prelude look pretty tame.

"You got away with it for now, freak, but I have something very special planned for you in Art"  Lime spat at me as we made our way out of the computer room at the end of the lesson, Mr Ocean had not moved all lesson so she missed her chance to get at me, that really hacked her off.

Ruby is laughing hysterically obviously she knows what Lime has planned for me - ART - my next class - another lesson that I share with the three of them.  Art is probably the lesson where they have their most fun with me, coloured paint thrown by them, being what I am wearing most days when I leave art class.  If only one of them had the nerve to touch me, I am sure they would hold me down and completely paint me ...... but they are too scared that I will turn them colourless, so they don't.

I always try to stick to the back of the class, closest to the door so if I need to I can run, today Lime snags the easel that I usually aim for and she has positioned herself between me and the door.  Mrs Flowers who tends to wander out of class to run errands is quietly painting at the front of class .... maybe luck is on my side today and she will stay there for the whole lesson.

Fifteen minutes into the lesson and my mood drops and I know my luck has ran out, hearing Mrs Flowers making her usual excuses as she slips out of the classroom and leaving us unattended.  Ice is on the easel in front of me, Ruby in front of Ice, Lime to my left, they pretty much had me cornered.  I waited nervously for the paint to come flying over the top of my easel ..... a few minutes passed - but the paint didn't come.

"So freak - who is the purple brat?" Lime's voice suddenly broke the silence.

At first her question confused me, then it clicked.

"You!!  You have it don't you - give it me back!!!"  I was shaking inside because I was angry not because I was scared. Of course, I never thought at the time that someone might have taken the missing piece of Mulberry's photo, but it would make sense as to why I never found it.

"Who is the brat - freak?"  She asked me again, that's when I saw it, the torn out piece of photograph - the bit that was missing - Mulberry's face.  She held it in front of me and when I tried to grab it she snatched it away from me, hiding it behind her.  In my attempt to get what she was holding I lurched forward and I crashed into her - I had touched her - this made her very mad.

"Touch me again - freak - and you are dead do you hear me!!??"  I have never seen her so angry but I could also see that she was actually scared  "If you turn me colourless, trust me, it will be the last thing you ever do - get me??!!"

"Whatever, just GIVE me the photo .. Please!!!."  They could do to me whatever they wanted, I just wanted that missing piece back.

"She touched you?!  Oh no ..... Lime you know you are toast now don't you!!"  Sunny appeared and I found it strange that he was laughing at Lime

Limes face twisted and while she never took her eyes off me she sniped at Sunny  "Get lost Sunshine, do you want another piece of me, I can quite easily repeat last weeks punishment"

Sunny's face dropped, suddenly he looked scared  "No!!  Sorry Lime."   he said then scurried away like a frightened animal back to his easel.  She is such a bully, I am beginning to wander if there is anyone in this school that she does not control!!!

Lime then turned her full attention back to me  "Who is the purple brat, if you don't tell me you won't get it back!!"

"If I tell you who he is - you will give it me back right?!"  I asked - I hoped but doubted she would mean a word she said.  "Of course, now, tell me - who is he?" 

"My little brother"  I watched Lime's mouth drop open, she was shocked, I really don't think that is what she expected me to say.  "What colour are your parents?"  she then demanded

"Purple and so are both of my brothers, now can I please have my photo back."  She was not listening she had more questions for me

"So if your parents are purple and your brothers are purple - why are you NOT purple??"  How could I answer that question when I did not know the answer myself.

I suddenly realized something - I have a weapon - why have I been so stupid and not thought about using it to my advantage before - they are probably more scared of my touch than I am of any bruise they could give me - time for me to play my own game!!!

"I used to be purple, I was picked up by a colourless woman when I was a baby."  I watched her flinch as I stepped towards her.

"YOU STAY THERE!!!  BACK OFF!!!"  she stepped backwards away from me, Lime was scared "Oh My Berry - it's true - Don't you come any closer, what I said earlier stands - turn me colourless and you are mince meat!!"

"I've touched you it is already too late - you do know you will become like me now don't you, but it won't happen straight away, you will stay green for a while yet."  I was laughing in my head, she is taking it in and believing it - she is actually scared of me - but she will definitely be kicking my butt when she realizes eventually that I am lying.  Sunny reappeared looking rather more serious this time, just listening, paint pallet still in his hand. . 

"How long?" she asked nervously

"Hard to say I was just a baby, but I think it was quite a few months before I was completely white, my colour faded away slowly."  The look on her face make me want to crack up, but I had to hold it all in and keep my face straight.  "Now you can give me my photo!!"

Limes face change, her usual evil expression returned "Not on your life berry hole!!"  she hissed at me and before I knew what was happening she was rubbing the photo into the paint on Sunny's pallet and threw it in the direction of Ice and Ruby who were hiding behind my easel.  "Ice destroy it, I need to go and see the nurse"

I watched the piece of photo, which now had weight because of the paint, fly towards Ice who jumped back to avoid it hitting her ....... *Splat* ...... it landed by her feet, Ice made no attempt to even catch it.

"Oh Dear!!" Ice said sarcastically "I seam to have dropped it"  she was sniggering as I saw the paint soaked piece of photograph disappear underneath her shoe as she stepped on it.  I watched in horror as Ice's shoe ground the photo into the ground over and over until it was just a pile of mush.

"I am telling you now - you are one dead berry, watch your back, I am coming for you very soon!!"  Lime hissed at me angrily before running out of the art room.  I suspected in the direction of the nurses office.

I thought about Mulberrys face being crushed under Ice's shoe - the pain I felt was unbearable - I needed to run too, I couldn't hold it in any longer, the tears were welling up in my eyes and starting to run down my face already, the whole of art class just standing there quietly watching me.

I dashed out of the art room and into the quiet and empty music room next door, I could hardly see for all the tears welling up in my eyes, after closing the door behind me I started to sob. 


Song "Bully" by Shinedown (Song) (Lyrics)

Tuesday, 25 September 2012

Chapter 2 - Gen 1 - Lilly

~ Wanna be Loved ~ 

"I see ya Lil"  Mulberry sits opposite me, his left eye covered and is peeking through the fingers of his right hand at me, he thinks I can't see him both of my eyes hidden behind my hands.   I sit as still as a statue not answering because I know it winds him up

"Lil .... I sed .... see ya"  he mutters again but I don't respond, sitting as still as I can trying my hardest not to giggle at him, I am watching him through the tiniest of cracks between two of my fingers.  The gap between his fingers is getting wider and wider as he leans forward looking at me, his little forehead all creased up in a frown.

"LIL.....!!!"  he shouts at me, he is so impatient.  If I stayed like this for much longer he will soon be getting ratty and trying to prize my fingers away from my face angrily with his chubby little hands that always smell of baby powder.  I would rather see him laughing.

"I had a roof over head"
"BOOO"  I spring my hands away from my face and watch him jump back, eyes wide, the surprise hits him first, then he always falls about laughing hysterically, rocking backwards and forwards holding his feet and laughing.  He has the cutest laugh I have ever heard and hearing him laugh always makes me laugh, we both sit there laughing together for ages, usually until my sides hurt.

"I had shoes on my feet"
"Agen ......... Agen" he covers his eyes again, he could sit here and play peek a boo all day.

"Ok, once more." I cover my eyes again and wait for him to speak.

"I see ya Lil"

"Yeah sure I was fed"
"Little man you stink!!  I think someone needs a nappy change."  Dad came along and just picked Mulberry up halfway through our game, he had to go and spoil it!!

Mulberry started to protest kicking his little legs as Dad hoisted him into the air.   "No Daddie play wiv Lil!!" at the same time as I did  "Daaaaaad!!  we are playing!!" I moaned at him.

"I don't know how you can sit there Lilly, he stinks..... have you done your homework? its bath and bedtime you have school in the morning and this little one should be in bed already"

I watch the way Dad is with Mulberry, how he smiles at him, gives him cuddles, tickles and speaks to him, the same way he is with Prelude, but that is not how either of my parents have ever been with me - it hurt - am I really so awful because I am colourless??

"But no one was there when I was in need"
Mom got her way - she kept the baby she was carrying and Dad did not leave like he threatened too, he stuck it out waiting to see how the baby turned out, and I never doubted that if the baby had arrived colourless like me he would have walked straight out the door.  For the 8 months we had to wait for the baby to come, we lived in hell.  Their fighting got so bad sometimes I wished one of them would leave just to give us some peace and quiet.

"So who am I now?"
When my little brother Mulberry arrived a normal purple berry - everyone was relieved.  I heard Dad say to her that she had won her game of Russian Roulette with all of our lives but she was NEVER to play it again, I didn't have a clue what he meant or even what Russian Roulette is - I didn't care because for the first time ever I actually saw my Mom smile. 

"Who do you want me to be"
Mulberry's arrival changed all of our lives for the better, don't get me wrong, our life is still far from perfect, but it is better than it has ever been and has changed all of us, well, all except for Prelude who is still the same berry hole that he has always been!!

Dad has stopped drinking and he has even got a job, and I now see Mom smiling sometimes and I hardly ever hear her crying anymore.  Even though their arguments still continue they are no where near as bad as they were, but don't forget I am still here, the colourless freak, that will never go away, it will always cause problems.

"I can forgive you but I won't relive you"
I love my little brother and am a lot happier because for the first time I feel like somebody loves me, Mulberry does not care what colour I am  - when he sees me his little face lights up with a huge smile - he always looks happy to see me and I have never had that from anyone before.

"I ain't the same scared kid that I used to be"
I seriously believe I have a monster living under my bed even though I have never actually seen it with my own eyes.  Some nights I hardly think about it - other nights it scares me so much that I find it hard to sleep and spend the night sitting in my rocking chair taking short naps waiting for the monster to come out - tonight is one of those nights.

"I'm gonna live"
Earlier I had found Prelude sitting in the rocking chair in my room, he has a nerve, he always goes mental at me for going into his room, yet he thinks he can come into mine when ever he pleases.

"What are you doing in my room Prelude?   Get out !!!"   I snapped at him, but he just cuts those evil eyes of his at me and carries on rocking backwards and forwards in my rocking chair.

"I came to feed the monster under your bed but he isn't hungry yet, he wants to eat you tonight instead."  He then jumped off the chair and walked out of my room laughing.

I am trying to sleep but it is just not happening, I can not stop thinking about the monster, I need to get up and check under my bed.

"I'm gonna survive"
Nervously I got down on my hands and knees and tried to take a look, but it is way too dark under there, I can't see anything.

"Don't want the world to pass me by"
Quickly springing back to my feet, I planed to go and sit in my chair so that I could keep watch - that is when I saw it!!!  The green scaly hand came out from underneath my bed and at first I froze.  The hand was feeling around on the carpet like it was looking for me - I was stuck - to get away from it I would have to jump over it but I knew if I stayed where I was it would get me.

"I'm gonna dream"
I quickly ran and jumped over the green hand which was still moving around on the carpet.  In a panic to get away from it, I tripped and fell, I thought the monster would get me for sure and I let out a really loud scream.

Suddenly I heard laughing - Prelude!!!
Looking in the direction of his laughing I saw his head pop up from the other side of my bed, he was on his hands and knees creased up with laughter.  When he stood up he was holding the big green arm in his hand, and he started waving it at me - still laughing - I just wanted to cry.

"I ain't gonna die"
Dad appeared demanding to know what was going on - Prelude, still laughing, told him how he had just scared the living daylights out of me with the monster arm.  Dad was not impressed, he did not find it amusing, I half expected him to laugh with Prelude, but he didn't, and for once gave Prelude a right telling off.  something I would have to pay for the next time Prelude gets me alone!!

"Thinking my life was just a lie"
After having a big fight with Prelude, Dad got the job of trying to convince me there were no such things as monsters living under the bed, Prelude had made the whole thing up just to frighten me ...... and it had worked!!   Little does Dad know that he has been winding me up for years with this monster under my bed - I don't know why he chose now to play his prank with the big green cardboard arm.    After Dad thought he had calmed me down he read to me until I fell asleep - that was a first.

"I want to be loved"
Prelude now has a girlfriend, Violet, and as is expected she is a purple berry.
There is something very strange about Violet, her eyes, I swear they shine in the dark like a cats do, she has a funny v shaped mark on her neck that she says is a birth mark, and like Prelude, she does not like me very much.  When Violet and Prelude are together I make sure I keep well out of their way, together they make quite the evil team.

"I want to be loved"
They actually leave me alone as long as I stay out of their way, most of the time they are too busy with each other anyway, they never stop kissing and messing about - it is pretty gross!!

"I found a picture"
There is a right racket coming from Preludes room, giggling, screaming and it sounds like there are a herd of elephants running around in the room - of course there isn't it's just Prelude and Violet messing about.  Our parents are out and I get the feeling that they are doing things that they shouldn't be doing, like they always do when Mom and Dad are not home.  Walking past his room on the way to my bedroom, his door was open just enough for me to see what they were doing, I quickly moved away so that I didn't see any more, I had already seen too much.

"Our so called family tree"
I had hardly stepped foot in my room when Prelude grabbed me roughly by the arm swinging me round to face him.  His fingers digging into my arm and he did not let go.

"OUCHHH That hurts!!!"  he did not let go like I wanted him too,  he tightened his grip hurting me even more.

"Not only are you a freak - but you are also a pervert!!!" he yelled at me  "Tell Mom and Dad what you saw me and Vi doing and I WILL kill you!!"

"I broke all the branches looking for answers"
Just to give me a warning, he decided to kick my but anyway, to remind me what would happen if I grassed him up.  He is a teenager - I am child what chance do I stand really??

"Don't you know that ain't how its supposed to be"
My face was hurting so badly I wanted to cry, but I had to keep it all in, if he saw me crying he would more than likely start on me again.  I let him leave the room, he slammed the door on his way out, that was when I let the tears fall.  This time he has gone way too far, I was used to the odd bruise or two, but nothing like this, he hit me really hard, harder than he ever has before.  My face hurt like hell and there was no way I could hide what he had done.

"I'm gonna live ...... I'm gonna survive"
"What did you do to your face Lilly?"  My Dad was the first one to spot my black eyes and bruised cheek.  I could not tell him what had happened, Prelude would just get me again for grassing him up, so I said nothing.
"Lilly how did your face get like that?"  he demanded again, I was going to have to say something so I quickly told him that I had fallen over outside, he just stood there looking at me for a minute, I hoped he would take my explanation and walk away but he didn't.  "You don't get two black eyes from falling over without bashing up your nose too - did somebody hit you?"
I told him again I had fallen over but I could see he did not believe me and he was getting angry.  He took my hands and turned them over looking at my palms, I didn't understand what he was doing, then he checked my legs then my arms.  "No grazes on your knees or your hands and what is this??"  He said pointing to more bruises at the top of my left arm - a line of small bruises that Preludes fingers must have left when he roughly grabbed hold of my arm.  "Lilly, who did this??"  he was getting angrier by the minute, I had no other choice but to tell him the truth and it only took one word - Prelude - but I did not tell him why Prelude had done it.

"Don't want the world to pass me by"
After he had finally got the truth out of me,  he went ballistic,  and the arguments started between Prelude and our parents.

"I'm gonna dream"
"I ain't gonna die"
Mom and Dad for once were not fighting with each other they were trying to decide what to do,  Preludes hatred of me was plain for everyone to see and it worried them - they had to think about my safety and Mulberry, if the school were concerned about the state of my face this could bring social services to our door - so they made a decision.

"Thinking my life was just a lie"
I was watching Mulberry playing happily on the floor singing to his doll, oblivious of what was about to happen.  I wandered if he would miss me as much as I am going to miss him, would he notice straight away that I was no longer here to play with him.

"I just want to be loved"
 They are sending me away from here, to a boarding school, they say it is for my own safety, but I am not so sure, shouldn't it be Prelude that they send away from here and not me??!!  Somehow I get the feeling that they have finally worked out a way to get rid of me from their lives.  Prelude is definitely getting exactly what he wanted - me gone.  I fell asleep feeling very unloved.

"I want to be loved"

After reading for what seemed like hours,  I needed a break and put down the book.  The little girls life and her creep of a brother was troubling me, but my own was troubling me more - I was still here in this white room and as yet I had not heard a sound or seen a single soul, nobody came to answer my questions.

"I ain't gonna cry"
The silence was eerie but that did not bother me as much as the fact that I still was struggling to remember anything about myself.  I wandered if reading that book was a good idea, I now had the little girls life in my head and am getting even more confused, trying to dig through my thoughts to find a little piece of me that might help me to remember who I am and what am I doing here.

"I don't want to scream"
Reading and sleeping are the only two things that I had to do in this place.

"But I got so much left unsaid inside of me."
Maybe I will remember something when I wake.


Song: "Wanna be loved" - Bon jovi (Song) (Lyrics)